Everything was inconsequential compared to this man. I couldn’t let the past steal my future. I couldn’t let what I’d done fog my happiness. And I couldn’t, under any circumstance, let Leather Jacket and White Man steal my joy of pain.
I would never run again. I would never hide again. I would never fear Q’s delectable punishment.
I was home.
I’d been so caught up in his taste, I didn’t feel Q’s assault on my body. I returned to reality with a slam. Q’s face was tight, his h*ps pounding into me with rhythmic pulses, driving himself closer and closer to the end.
His teeth were bared. He looked strong and real and entirely dangerous.
My back bowed as he thrust harder, harder. I loved his possession—found ultimate bliss in his arms.
“I have to…Tess. Forgive me.” I cried out as his mouth latched onto my shoulder, the sharp puncture of teeth breaking my skin. He sucked deep, dragging my own essence into him.
It was the most basic of us. The life-force in our veins. The neural highway where our soul swam and gave animation to lifeless bodies. By drinking me, he not only took my body, but also my soul in liquid form.
An orgasm spiralled from nowhere. Spurred not from the exquisite joy of having Q inside me—but from the joy at knowing I belonged.
It wasn’t a body orgasm. It was more than that.
It was a soul orgasm.
Q braced himself, spreading his legs to thrust harder. My back bruised, my br**sts jiggled, and I threw myself into the brightest, sharpest release yet. The orgasm started thorny and almost unwilling, but Q relentlessly pursued it.
Another thrust and I came.
It split me in two.
My legs squeezed my master until he grunted with pain. I relished in the power rippling down his back before he followed me into heaven.
The first spurt matched my release perfectly and with pristine synchronicity we found our breathless ending.
We transcended simple life.
We shared absolutely everything.
We slithered down the wall to land in a tangle of sweaty-sated limbs.
With our bodies wrapped together, we lay happily in the dark.
Chapter Eight
Master and slave, owner and owned, you sate my need and feed me
We are blood of blood, echoing heartbeat and answering breath; nothing can break us, not even death
I wish people knew.
I wish more people realized this gift.
You changed my world, Q. You sheltered, protected, and avenged me—but even that wasn’t enough to bring me back to life. My heart hurts to think of others who’ve lived what I lived. Other survivors who had to return home and pretend.
Pretend time healed them. Lie that they’re better. Hide that the nightmares haven’t stolen their sanity.
Everyone needs a Q.
Everyone needs to learn the lesson you taught me.
Pain is therapy. Pain is healing. Pain is the only thing that purges.
I’m not doing a good job at writing this down, but after yesterday, I have to try. I have to get my jumbled thoughts on paper—if only to show you how much I love you. To let you witness how much you saved me by being you.
I don’t think you’ll ever understand how indebted I’ll always be to you. Q—you own me, not because I love you, but because you…you’re my—let me see if I can explain.
Sometimes, when life has taken bites out of your self-worth, when fate lands you in the path of horrible circumstance and your body is full of holes from carving out your heart for others, it’s impossible to be whole again. Those holes just get bigger, the nightmares just get stronger.
Life becomes an enemy, whittling away at the remaining parts you have left.
But pain.
It strips you back—it tears off your withered, hole-riddled skin. It destroys the past and annihilates concern and worry. Pain does to a human spirit what acid does to paint. It strips away all the layers of filth and gunk until nothing but the basic material exist. The grime is gone, leaving a complete fresh start.
Q—you are my acid.
Through granting me pain, you gave me a fresh start.
I’ll never be able to repay you.
Your Esclave forever,
Tess
I’d read Tess’s letter over twenty times. Every word she’d written, in her cute feminine flourish, resonated deep inside.
She effectively took every hatred I had about my past—who I was, what I wanted—and chopped it into f**king pieces with a guillotine. How could I hate my need to hurt her when it was what saved her? All my life I’d suffered self-hatred, wishing I was different—kinder, wiser, gentler. Instead, she’d given me…truth.
She’d given me more than freedom—she’d allowed myself to stop hating my needs and…accept.
My mind conjured images of the women I’d saved. Slaves who’d been raped to near death; whores who’d been tortured until every drop of blood puddled on the floor. All women: daughters, wives, sisters. Each one I thought I’d helped by giving them a place to heal before sending them home to their loved ones. I gave them the best of care—bought top-of-the-line medical treatment, psychologists—and when they were less broken, I sent them home with a cheque for one hundred thousand euros. I placed them back with family and gave them a safety net, taking the stress of bill paying and jobs away while they focused on fixing their broken lives.
I thought I’d figured out a recipe to rehabilitation.
I believed family and love would be the ultimate saviour, but what if I was wrong? What if those women had been irrevocably changed? What if Tess was right?
Tess’s hand fell on my forearm, wrenching me from my thoughts. “You okay? We’re here.”
Yesterday had been about breaking her. But it ended up breaking me. I’d been prepared to go dark—treat her f**king awful—just like I always thought I wanted.
But that was the funny thing.
I had everything I ever wanted. Once again she took the allure of darkness and brought her ever shining light to morph it from forbidden to cherished.
Even though I hit her ass until she bled, it wasn’t her who was sore, but me. I felt stripped bare, revealed for what I was—a f**king fraud.
I’d lost the need to be savage. I’d lost the curse in my blood. I still hadn’t come to terms with how I felt about it. I was angry but also f**king relieved.
I’m not him after all.
Franco appeared from the cockpit. “I’ll go get the car. Stay here.” He disappeared down the plane steps, leaving us alone once again. His surly tone reminded me I’d left him outside for twelve hours yesterday while I indulged my fill. And he was pissed. Not to mention his stress levels suspecting everyone now the official news had got out. I was an official target.
They’re coming.
My hands curled involuntarily at the thought of what might happen…soon.
The flight from Tenerife had been uneventful. After the mind-blowing release and breathless conclusion, I’d bundled Tess from that place and returned to the hotel. Franco hadn’t said a word about catching her naked. He’d avoided my narrowed look and behaved like a perfect silent bodyguard.
We’d had room service, before a very innocent shower, and then sleep. Wonderful sleep.
Why wonderful?
Because Tess hadn’t had one single f**king nightmare.
And I was egotistically proud of that.
Shaking my thoughts away, I replied to Tess’s question. “Oui, allons-y.” Yes, let’s go. Smiling, I stood and stretched. The cream leather was comfortable, but my entire body ached as if I’d fought a thousand traffickers. I suppose I had in a way—I’d become the men haunting Tess and shattered their power. Then I took her. Fuck, I took her.
The wintery sun burned my eyeballs as Tess and I descended the aircraft steps. Franco appeared driving a black Phantom with the logo of Moineau Holdings on the side etched in gold.
“Wait? We’re back in France?” Tess squinted against the glare, noticing the large terminal across the way with the very obvious Charles de Gaulle signage giving away the location. Her face flushed as a riot of memories entered her eyes.
Franco squealed to a stop and flung himself out to open the door for Tess.
“Esclave—what are you thinking?” I hated when she got that faraway look. I wanted to chase—to enter her mind and not be left as an unpaying spectator.
“I know what she’s thinking,” Franco said, a huge grin spreading his face.
What the f**k? I glowered but Tess laughed. “I’m guessing you would.”
I looked between the two of them getting angrier by the second. “Anyone care to tell me, or are you enjoying your inside joke?”
Franco shook his head, taking Tess’s hand to help her into the car. My back bristled but I held my tongue, waiting for someone to talk.
“It was about here that I first met Tess.” He squeezed her hand before letting go. “Sorry about that—throwing you to the tarmac and all. I felt bad that I rolled your ankle.”
“What? You hurt her?” I stomped forward.
Tess smiled. “Good thing you didn’t give me an opportunity to go for your gun. I would’ve shot you and never known what a nice guy you are—beneath the whole collecting slaves for a sadistic master of course.”
Franco laughed; not giving away a thing that only twenty-four hours ago he’d caught her running from said sadistic master. Bet Tess wouldn’t be so f**king happy if she knew he held her fully na**d and totally compromised.
My teeth hurt I clenched so hard. I hated not knowing everything about her. “Tell—” I snapped my mouth closed. No, you don’t need to ask.
I could guess. Franco completed all the slave handovers. Tess probably ran—as was her trademark by now—and they all had a very uncomfortable flight home.
I always sent Franco and two other guards to collect the bribes as they arrived. Not to make sure of the girl’s protection but on the off chance the trafficker was a new player on the scene. Franco’s unofficial order was to remove them from society before they got a foothold and became a threat. It wasn’t possible to take out the henchmen of bigger organizations like Red Wolverine, but smaller outfits—they were killable.
Cursing under my breath, I stalked around the car and let myself in. Franco ducked, throwing me a look through the car window. I knew what he tried to convey: I’ve had your back right from the start, so wind your f**king neck in.
He was right.
So I did.
Tess smiled as Franco shut the door. Settling back into the seat, her fingers entwined with mine. We stayed silent while the car started and pulled away from the airport.
“Don’t be mad at him. Despite me wanting to kill him that night, he didn’t go out of his way to hurt me.”
I patted her hand, brushing away my temper. “I know. Je suis juste un idiot.” I’m just being an idiot.
Tess shook her head. “You’re a lot of things—but never that.”
My heart seized; I had to look out the window. I thought I loved her before. But that was before I had any f**king idea what love really was. It was nothing, nothing, compared to what I felt now. I was possessed by her. Totally consumed.
She was my home. Plain and simple—the biggest investment of my life.
“Are you going to tell me why we’re back in Paris?” Tess asked, looking out the window at passing cars.
My mood lifted and a trickle of excitement filled me. Today was the day Tess really stepped into my world. Not just sexually or emotionally but materially.
Today was the day I gave Tess everything.
Bringing her hand to my mouth, I kissed her knuckles. “It’s a surprise, esclave.”
And if you so much as argue, I’ll put you over my knee and spank you—regardless of witnesses.
Tess thought I was rich. She didn’t know quite how rich.
But in thirty minutes, she would.
Moineau Holdings glittered with glass and sun-refracting metal as Franco pulled to the curb outside.
I opened the car door, pulling Tess out with me, leaving Franco to pull back into traffic and head to the parking garage next door. My eyes scanned the footpath, glowering at pretty women and well-dressed men—suspecting everyone.
I didn’t like being in the open without back-up, especially with Tess as such a vulnerable target. And I definitely didn’t like being back at work where people knew me—where buildings offered perfect coverage for anyone wanting to take out a man threatening their downfall.
My body balanced between being soft with Tess and ready to rip someone’s chest open if they so much as looked at me wrong.
Get inside before you murder someone.
Wrapping an arm around Tess’s waist, I propelled her through the sliding doors and into the lobby.
Tess froze, jerking my body to a stop with hers. “You’ve brought me back to your office? Why?” Tension tightened her voice. Just like her fear of a bath, she had to overcome her terror of this place. I thought she would’ve been safe here—but it only taught me never to trust anyone.
A headache appeared from the rapidly building stress in my body. I f**king hated headaches. Especially the one I’d had that day when she’d been taken. I’d been a useless invalid. If it hadn’t have been for Frederick, I would probably have had a stroke trying to do everything myself.
The memory of losing her made my gut churn.
Stop thinking about it for f**k’s sake.
I forced my thoughts to turn to why we were here. I wanted to surprise Roux—he was going to be the accessory to this next part of the crescent moon—he just didn’t know it yet.
“We’ll only be here for a bit—then I’m kidnapping you away again.” Where—I hadn’t quite figured out yet. Suzette still had three days before the wedding. Shit, I better call her. No telling what sort of craziness she’d planned by now. That woman was a f**king menace.