“It’s horrible, isn’t it?”
I opened my eyes and saw a woman standing next to me. She was painfully thin and her eyes were red.
“I’m here because my boyfriend overdosed. What happened to your girl?”
“I don’t know what happened to her.”
“Oh, I thought she overdosed too.”
“No, she doesn’t take drugs.”
“Lucky her. And she’s got you. I wish I had someone like you. Someone who cares like you. All he cares about is getting high.” Her voice ended on a sob.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Yeah, it’s a shit life. I’ve got no money. Can you spare some change for the coffee machine?”
I fished out some notes from my wallet and gave them to her.
“Yeah, like I said. She’s one lucky gal.” Then she went away without getting herself a coffee. I guessed that I just bought her, her next high. I threw away the coffee cup and went to wait for the doctor to be done with Willow.
Eventually, he came out.
“She is not severely hurt apart from some light bruises.”
I could tell that he was watching me carefully, wondering if I had lied about finding her in that condition and if I was the one responsible for her injuries, especially given my disheveled and half-crazed state.
“If she doesn’t have any injuries then why did she collapse?”
“Emotional distresses.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“The only diagnosis that I can arrive at right now, is that she most likely experienced a very distressing emotional episode. It’s left her completely drained. I can’t know anymore until she wakes up and explains it to us herself, so the best we can do now is to monitor her until then. You can go and be with her if you want.”
I nodded and went to her room and pulled the chair closer to her bedside. After brushing her hair away from her face, I lowered my head on the bed and watched her as she rested.
52
Willow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EHAo6rEuas
I could sense a hand holding mine.
It was warm and gentle. I felt weak and drained, but I opened my eyes and saw the full head of hair next to me. He was asleep. I watched him and the memories began to slowly trickle back. I tried my best to hold it all in, but it wasn’t long before I was sobbing quietly. No wonder my young mind had decided to block them away.
Here he was. Protecting me. Caring for me. Just as he had always done. Putting me first.
I felt it then, the powerful bond we had shared twelve years ago. Two hurt and lonely kids, finding peace, comfort and even joy in the other.
As I looked at his silky hair my heart felt like it might burst.
Just then I felt him stiffen, and my heart slammed into my chest. He raised his face and looked into my eyes. God, I couldn’t hold back the emotion. All these years … All these years.
I felt his hand on my face, wiping away the tears.
“Why are you crying?” he asked.
His calm, deep voice sent ripples of emotions through me. Joy … pain … love … guilt. The sacrifice he had made for me filled me with sorrow.
He was my angel. I didn’t know how to express the gratitude I felt for him. But before all else I needed to be in his arms. Somehow, I lifted myself off the bed and slipped my arms around him. A small groan sounded from his lips. He probably didn’t know I had remembered everything.
He held me tightly to him until I was ready.
“Take me home,” I told him.
“Just as soon as the doctor says you can go,” he said gently into my ear.
A little while later, we were in a taxi. He was giving the driver the directions to my parents’ house, when I laid my hand on his and said, “Not there. Your house. Your house can be my home, right?”
He couldn’t speak, but his Adam’s apple bobbed. Then he nodded and quickly turned his face away so that I wouldn’t see how deeply affected he was. I gave the driver his address and snuggled up against him.
He looked so incredibly unkempt, which was such a stark difference from the Caleb I had become familiar with. He had allowed his beard to grow out, and his eyes were sunken. Maria had been right. He truly had given up on everything and gone home to mourn. It hurt me all over again.
“I remember everything now,” I whispered.
He turned to look at me. The pain in his face ripped through my insides.
“You … you remember?”
“Everything.”
Tears of joy filled his eyes. “How? When?”
I didn’t want to tell him about Bradley because I didn’t need to hurt him more, but I didn’t want to lie either. I held his hand and spoke quietly, and by the time I was done, he had gone as still as a stone. That scared me more than anything.