sounds so strong.”
Liam was right. And Hammer couldn’t stop wondering what the hell he’d do if he missed all the other milestones of this child’s life. Fuck, he had to block out his worries, not let them weigh down this miraculous moment.
Soon, he might have thirty years to waste on regret.
He rushed to Raine’s side and gave her a slow, loving kiss.
When he lifted from her, Raine turned a worried gaze to him. “Macen?”
He wiped at his eyes as if overwhelmed. And he was. Joy brawled with grief, punching him black and blue. Hearing the heartbeat—like seeing the tiny bump of Raine’s belly—blindsided him on a whole new level.
How could he stand not to be with them to welcome this life, to watch and share in their child’s growth? How would he survive knowing that life would—and had—gone on without him?
Not here, fucker. Keep your shit wired. You can’t fall into that hole now.
“It’s more than amazing, precious,” he finally choked out. “It’s a miracle.”
As Liam stepped away, Hammer swooped in and wrapped her in his arms. Struggling against the urge to put his fist through the wall, he gently cupped Raine’s cheeks and kissed her.
“You’re happy, aren’t you?”
He was happy for her and Liam, not thrilled with the pile of rubble he was crumbling into. But he’d be damned if he dumped an ounce of this on her.
Slipping on a mask of calm, he sent her a wide smile. “I’m beyond happy. This baby will never question how much he or she is loved.”
Raine and Liam would see to that.
“Never.” She beamed.
Hammer stepped back and turned before dragging in a deep breath. While Parker talked to Raine, he worked to neutralize the bitter acid thrumming through his veins. But all he could focus on was finding the prick who’d set him up and every unholy way he’d take vengeance on that motherfucker’s soul if he got the chance.
“See you next time, Macen.” Dr. Parker smiled as she left the room.
Probably not. “Thanks,” Hammer replied just before the door closed behind her.
“Let’s get you cleaned up, shall we?” With a handful of tissues, Liam wiped the gel from Raine’s stomach, tugged up her pants, then pulled her into his arms. “I can’t believe that sound came from our baby.”
“I know,” Raine squealed. “It was…amazing.”
Seize the moment. It might be your last.
Clenching his jaw, Hammer strode across the room and pressed himself against Raine’s back. He wrapped his arms around the two, then closed his eyes and breathed her in. Bending, he peppered kisses beneath her ear. “Hearing that heartbeat was beyond amazing. You’re going to be a phenomenal mother.”
“Because I’ll have two phenomenal fathers to help me.” Turning, she tilted her face toward him. “I just know it.”
She kissed him, and Hammer wished like hell he shared her confidence.
“Let’s grab lunch. We need to put some meat on your bones, love.” Liam cupped her cheek and turned her toward him, kissing her, as well.
“Yes, we have to fatten you up.”
“Not too much. I’m not looking forward to waddling.”
“But there will be more of you to love, precious,” Hammer murmured.
Forcing himself to stay in the moment, he found that plateau of peace again. But he wasn’t fooling himself. It would be all too easy to slide into despair if he didn’t stay on his toes.
After lunch at Raine’s favorite pizza joint—again—they arrived back at the house. Bryn grabbed Raine and insisted they shop for goodies for the nursery. Duncan, bless him, agreed to drive the women and haul their shopping bags. With a wink at his son and a pat on his wife’s butt, the three walked out the door.
“What do you say we grab a couple beers and sit by the pool?” Liam suggested.
“Sure.”
The breeze was a little cool, but the sun was warm, the blue sky brilliant. It was a perfect afternoon to relax outdoors.
“How are you holding up?” Liam asked.
“So far, so good.” He nodded before taking a long pull of the bottle.
“Stop lying to me,” Liam chided. “You weren’t doing so good at the doctor’s office today.”
“No. But I pulled my head out of my ass.”
“Have you? Or are you telling me what you think I want to hear?”
Hammer shot him a sideways glance. “Why would I do that?”
A mirthless chuckle rolled off his friend’s tongue. “To save me from worrying about you. You’re too late, by the way. That ship sailed. I know you’re worried and depressed. Talk to me, Macen.”
“Yeah, I suppose those are bubbling in the shit pot of my emotions.”
“At least you’re confessing you have emotions now. That’s growth. Finally.” Liam took a swig of his dark stout. “You’re keeping something from us. What is it?”
“Christ, a few days with your mom and suddenly you turn into some fucking mind reader?”
“It’s your aura. And yours isn’t simply dull. It’s lost its luster altogether. It’s gone dark.”
“I’ll give it a new paint job and put some wax on it.”
“Don’t start that fucking dodge, duck, dip, dive, dodge crap with me,” Liam roared. “I’m up to my eyeballs in this shite, too. So is Raine. Neither of us wants to lose you. Stop being an asshole and level with me.”
Duly chastised, Hammer sighed and nodded.
“All right. All right. Knock it off.”
Hammer sent him a scowl. “Knock what off? I haven’t said a fucking word.”
“It’s my Mum. She’s harping on me to be more understanding.”
Hammer shook his head. “Christ, that’s got to be annoying as hell. Does she peek in on us when we’re…you know, with Raine?”
Liam laughed. “Bloody hell, no. Not unless it’s an emergency like that day they arrived.”
“I was damn thankful for your burning ear then.” Hammer raised his bottle in a toast.
Liam joined him before they both swallowed down more brew.
Reaching into his pocket, Hammer pulled out his phone. “I got a call from Sterling while we were at the doctor’s office. I haven’t listened to it yet.”
“Why not?”
“Frankly, I don’t want to hear any more bad news.”
Liam exhaled heavily, then leaned over and gripped Macen’s shoulder. “I’m not trying to put more on your plate. I’m trying to share the load, if you’ll let me.”
“I know. This whole fucking mess is piling up on your shoulders. I hate that you might have to—”
“I’ll gladly carry the load, brother. You know I’ve always got your back. I’ll do everything in my power to care for Raine and our baby if it comes to that.” Liam nodded at the cell phone. “Play the message.”
With a trembling finger, Hammer pushed the button, then cradled the phone in a tight grip.
“Macen. Sterling here. Things are looking…bleak. I’m waiting on more information from Wellington, but there’s something else I need to tell you. The state will file rape charges against you if the feds don’t convict you. I just saw the November fourth video of you and Raine at the club. Jesus christ, Macen. After that, there’s no way in hell I can keep her off the stand. Without Raine’s testimony, you’ll be crucified. I know you want to protect her, but that’s not possible anymore. The jury will see that footage and dissect it frame by frame. We’ll be lucky if it’s not leaked to the tabloids.” He paused. “Call me as soon as you can. We’ll discuss this in depth. I’m sorry I don’t have better news.”
Hammer stared at the phone, dazed and numb.
“Bloody hell,” Liam barked. “You told Barnes not to let Raine testify? Damn, man, an army couldn’t keep her from the witness stand. You just try and stop her. She’d march right up to the judge, stomp her dainty foot, and demand to tell her side of the story.”
“And then what?” Hammer spit. “Le
t the prosecution burn the scarlet letter A into the middle of her forehead? Raine… you… me… We’ll all be on the cover of every fucking rag from here to New York. They’ll label you a pervert and me a pedophile. Raine will get the distinguished honor of being known as a sex slave for the rest of her life. And what about our baby? It won’t matter what his last name is—Hammerman, O’Neill, or Kendall—our child will carry the humiliation of this whole fucking mess the rest of his or her life. Do you want that?”
Liam’s eyes grew wide as he bolted up from his chair. “No. Oh, hell no, Macen. You can’t.”
“Can’t what?” he spat.
“Can’t go through with what you’re thinking about. Bloody hell, man. Have you lost your fucking mind?”
Hammer’s mouth gaped open. “How do you… Bryn!”
“It’s not my mother, mate.” Fury flashed in Liam’s eyes as he inched in close to Hammer’s face. “You don’t get it. I can fucking see you. Your thoughts are like a goddamn sign, all lit up and flashing neon in my fucking face. So don’t tell me you’re fine, Macen. I’m gut sick with worry. Don’t you dare think to leave me here alone.”
Hammer slammed his bottle on the table, curled his fingers into fists, and punched him in the jaw. “Get out of my head. I didn’t invite you to dissect me before, and I’m sure as hell not letting you read my goddamn thoughts.”
Liam raised a hand to his face and rubbed it. “So we’re back to this now, are we? Bring it on, mate. I’ll toss your fucking ass in the pool and piss myself laughing.”
Without a word, Hammer drew his hand back again, but Liam was faster. He shoved a fist in Macen’s gut, knocking the wind out of him.
“Do you want to keep going or are you ready to sit down and talk, you big, stupid bastard?” Liam spat.
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Fuck yourself.” Liam shook his head. “We can spend the afternoon knockin’ each other’s blocks off, which will have Raine packing her bags. At least one of your problems will be solved then, right? Or you can stop eating your testoster-oats and use your head.”
“Testoster-oats?” Hammer couldn’t help but laugh.
Liam grinned. “Got your attention, didn’t it?”
“Goddamn you.” Hammer sighed as his face crumpled and all his tension piled up. “What am I going to do?”
Before he even tried to pull himself together, Liam wrapped him in a hug. “You’re not going to do a bloody damn thing except ride this out with the rest of us. Do you hear me?”
Hammer sucked in a deep breath. He could only promise to try.
“This shit storm will pass. I have to believe the three of us will survive, and when it’s over, we’ll still be intact. According to Seth, our life’s a fucking soap opera, and these bloody dramas always get resolved somehow.”
Hammer nodded, but he wondered if their luck had just run out.
“I need you, brother. And you need me. You may not think you do, but—”
“I’ve needed you for years.” Hammer sighed. “I was just too fucking stubborn to admit it.”
“It’s never too late to figure things out, mate. I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah, well… some of us are slower to grasp the importance of shit than others.” Hammer slapped Liam on the back. “I want you and Raine to sign the powers of attorney I showed you the other night.”
“Did you not hear my fucking words?” Liam pulled back with a scowl.
“I did. But I want to be prepared, just in case.”
“I understand you needing to get your affairs in order, but… hell. We’ll talk this over with Raine tonight. She has just as much right to help make decisions. We’re a family.”
“I know. Just…it would ease my mind if you’d both sign.”
“I’ll consider it. And I’ll be bringing the shit shovel to that talk. You can explain that you refused to let her testify.”
Hammer let out a long-suffering groan.
Liam looked out over the pool, a wry smile tugging the corners of his mouth. “Maybe she’ll just march you down here and make you go for another icy swim.”
Hammer threw his head back and laughed. “Fuck you.”
* * *
Lying in bed, Hammer stared at the ceiling while Sterling’s message played over in his head on an endless loop. After he’d seen the footage of Macen and Raine’s encounter in the bar at Shadows, the lawyer had sounded horrified. While everything with her had been consensual, the video obviously didn’t depict that. No matter which way he turned, the only one who could save his sorry ass was Raine.
Macen clenched his jaw at the thought of throwing her under the bus. He wasn’t going to humiliate his pregnant, stressed-out girl by having her explain the pictures of her beaten and bruised for a federal jury. If the state took over, she’d have to defend each frame of that damn video footage to a dozen strangers who would decide his fate. In either case, the prosecution would destroy every shred of self-confidence she possessed. The press had already painted her as a sex worker and whore. The suits who wanted him locked up would, no doubt, brand her a trashy unwed mother, too. The news and tabloids would print every lurid detail they could get their hands on. She wouldn’t have a normal life anymore, and what would that do to her? Liam? Their baby?
Fuck!
Macen refused to sit by while the two people he loved more than life were destroyed in such a thoroughly callous, public way.
A strangled scream of frustration burned in his lungs.
Closing his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath. Memories of sitting in a fucking cell for two and a half days came rushing back. He’d done nothing but crawl inside his own head, letting his fears and insecurities drag him down to the darkest recesses of his soul. You can protect them… A voice whispered between Hammer’s ears. He could also save himself from the slow, thirty-year slide to insanity if he were imprisoned.
But the cost was priceless in all the wrong ways.
Still, he’d made a vow that if Sterling couldn’t prove Macen’s innocence and the outcome of the trial seemed bleak, he would take his future into his own hands. He intended to keep that promise. He’d be damned before he let twelve clueless jurors decide his destiny.
But Sterling’s message only served to drive home the fact that things were already bleak. Hammer’s future was going up in flames and the fucking trial hadn’t even started.
Never in his worst nightmare had Hammer imagined he’d be pushed into a position like this. But he had—and he only had two ways out. That realization made his heart skip and every muscle tremble.
Panic swamped him. A wave of nausea crested. Cold sweat followed. Unable to breathe, he tossed back the covers and leapt out of bed.
Yeah, he’d heard Liam’s encouraging words about their future around the pool earlier and told himself his friend was right. He could still logically have hope.
Macen huffed. God, he sounded stupid, idealistic. Liam was a true friend, trying to prop him up, but Sterling had basically laid the truth out for him: thirty years. And if the feds didn’t get him, the state would. There was no escape.
Pacing, he dragged in deep breaths. It didn’t help. The walls were closing in all around him.
Grabbing the clothes he’d draped over the chair earlier, Hammer tried to quell his rising anxiety. His fingers shook as he buttoned his shirt.