is, you’re not listening to me.”
“Of course I hear you. But I’m confident you’ll make the right choice.” She smiled back at him, her face glowing with conviction. “After you’ve spent time with your son—with me—and see how much I’ve grown as a wife and a mother, you’ll understand. I’m never giving up on you, darling. Never.”
Chapter Eight
Raine tiptoed down the hall. She wasn’t exactly sure where Liam or Hammer had gone. Neither had told her. Neither behaved like himself. Liam had been preoccupied and distressed all day. Hammer had been covering for him earlier. Then, something had happened to send his temper flaring, too. He hadn’t wanted her to know it, but please…
She really wished she could ask them straight questions and get straight answers. She’d been trying that all day. No luck. Evasions, sidestepping, maybe even outright lies—anything but the truth. Ironic after the way they’d stressed honesty in particular with her at the lodge. She’d be incredibly furious and hurt…except they’d continued giving her their love and affection. First, Liam had made love to her as if she were his only lifeline. Afterward, in the shower, Hammer had gripped her with the same desperation.
Something had definitely gone wrong between their last incredible joining at the cabin and the time they’d awakened her. It had only been going more wrong all day. Raine was convinced now more than ever that they meant to protect her.
And if she wasn’t going to get answers from them, the time had come to find someone who might talk. Beck was probably prepping for surgery now, but Seth was just down the hall. Of course, given his allegiance to Liam, her little game of twenty questions might not be well received. But any information he gave her was more than she had now.
Breath held, she crept to Seth’s door and knocked, hearing him engaged in low conversation behind the portal.
“Come in,” he shouted.
Biting her lip, Raine turned the knob and pushed the door open. She spied him sitting behind a little makeshift desk in the corner of his room that seemed overly small for his tall frame. He swiveled around in his chair with the phone pressed to his ear and waved her in.
“I’ll have to call you back,” he told whomever he talked to. “Yeah. That would be great. Thanks.” He hung up.
“Have I come at a bad time? I can come back.”
Now that she saw his tawny brow raised and his knowing stare, he clearly wasn’t under any illusions about why she’d come.
He gestured to the edge of the bed—the only other soft surface in the room. “Sit down.”
Raine couldn’t fail to hear the command in his voice. She cut to the chase. “You know why I’m here.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea, yeah.” He crossed his arms over his chest and hooked one ankle over the other. “But shoot.”
She settled herself on the corner of his rumpled bed and folded her hands nervously in her lap. Most of the time, his face was so friendly. Golden hair in a banker’s cut, laughing green eyes, Seth was always ready to lend gentle support or tell a good joke. He seemed like everyone’s friend…until he slipped into Dom mode.
He’d done that so easily with her, and it had taken him little more than a heartbeat. He wasn’t in Dom stance or wearing leathers or even telling her to kneel. Yet she felt that commanding part of his nature surround her. He’d make some woman a wonderful, if exacting, Dom someday.
“They’re hiding something from me,” she murmured.
“And?” He neither confirmed nor denied.
“It’s killing me. It’s affecting us.”
He paused, measuring his words. “You’re worried.”
She nodded. “I’m working on believing they love me and telling myself they don’t intend to leave me.”
“We’ve covered this. They do and they’re not.”
Even if she’d heard it before, his words eased her fears a bit. Seth didn’t know all the nuances of their relationship or Hammer’s and Liam’s feelings, but he knew the important things. He’d know if they’d gotten over her or intended to find the door.
“Look…” He held up a finger. “I know what makes Hammer and Liam tick. It wasn’t easy for the two of them to swallow their pride and hash out a peace, but they did it for you. Then a breath after their truce, they began working together to break through your walls. Why would they do that?”
“Because they love me,” she murmured.
He nodded. “Hopelessly in love, yes.”
“Then why aren’t they talking to me? I’ve tried to ask questions. I’m not getting answers.”
“So you’re going to stomp your foot and make demands?”
“No,” she defended herself, then sighed. “Okay, I got mad at the gas station, but once we got home, I really thought about it. I told Liam I was scared.”
Seth stood. “You made yourself vulnerable. So you actually did learn something over the past couple of days?”
Raine shrugged. “I tried.”
He slanted her a dry expression. “Yeah, after making demands didn’t work. But it’s progress, little one. Go on.”
“I don’t know what else to do or say. Liam seems to be…shutting down one minute and clinging to me in desperation the next. Hammer spent half the car ride trying to distract me, but then he disappeared for a bit and came back incredibly pissed off. They’re not usually moody like this. Everything feels wrong.”
He shrugged. “And you think you deserve an answer right now?”
When he put it that way, she sounded bitchy. “It would be nice if they at least said something to put me out of my misery.”
“It’s human nature to want what you want when you want it. But is that giving them the best of your submission?”
He had that Dom talent to ask questions designed to take the starch right out of her spine. “Damn it.”
“Liam would give you a red ass for that.” Seth grinned.
“I know. He likes ladies.” She managed not to sigh dejectedly.
“He does. But you knew it, just like you knew that if you asked what was bothering them and they didn’t answer right away, they must be protecting you from something.”
“But I don’t need to be protected. I’m a grown woman. I can handle it.”
“They might need to protect you. Did you think of that? Can you let them?”
“Yeah, but—”
“No. Either you trust that they have your best interests at heart or you don’t. And if you don’t, why are you with them?”
When he gave her that logic, it sounded so obvious and straightforward.
“I do. I love them both.” She gnawed on her lip for a moment and tried to put her thoughts into words. “I feel safe with them. I can’t breathe without them.”
His gaze softened as he approached, dropping a hand to her shoulder and crouching until they were eye to eye. “Raine, they won’t cater to your every want. There’s a reason for everything they do, but accepting that is part of being submissive.”
She sighed, her gaze hitting the concrete floor. He was right. “Okay, I may not always behave like the submissive I should, but they’re not letting me fulfill my role—to comfort and help them. I feel useless.”
“You can’t give them your love and support unless you know the situation? Think about that.”
Hell, Seth was right again. If she were truly giving herself to them, she would trust that they’d tell her everything when the time was right. She’d be giving them her heart and soul through it all.
Her independent nature didn’t make that easy.
“You’re right.” She sighed, feeling somewhere between lost and stupid.
“Follow where they lead you. Let go of your control. They won’t let you fall. They’ve worked too hard for your progress.”
“Why is it so hard to do that?”
He chuckled. “If it were easy, submission wouldn’t be a journey. You’re still learning. It’s not easy being a Dom, either. You have to let them do what they’ve been
wired to do all their lives—protect you, communicate when you need it, honor and love you. They’d walk a hundred miles over broken glass to keep you safe. But you have to remember, it will be in their time frame, not yours.”
His answer made Raine nod miserably. “You’re right. I can’t stand to see them so upset, to watch them struggle against whatever’s happening and do nothing. I just… My head keeps going back to places that scare me.” She closed her eyes, remembering the terrible rejection in Liam’s stare as he’d watched Hammer fondle her in the car. “Liam was so jealous earlier today.”
“Yes, he was, and that’s an issue he has to work through.” Seth stood, paced. “I’ve known Liam a long time. After Hammer moved out here, I spent a lot of my weekends with Liam. He doesn’t give his heart away freely. Hell, hardly at all. He can be a very private, closed man. But the fact that he fell for you so quickly and completely told me even before I met you that you must be a special woman.”
Raine didn’t think there was anything particularly special about her. She was simply a woman in love with two men and lucky enough that they loved her and one another enough to accept that.
“But given Liam’s past, trust isn’t easy. Jealousy is,” Seth pointed out.
His past? “Oh, his ex-wife.”
The one who’d cheated on him so horribly. Sometimes, Liam seemed so sure of himself that she forgot he was a man with his own insecurities.
Seth nodded. “Gwyneth is a part of his problem. The bigger part is you. Did you ever think it’s been daunting for Liam to know you’ve been in love with Hammer for close to an eternity?”
It hadn’t really occurred to her. She’d fallen for Liam so quickly. It had been as easy as taking her next breath. One minute they’d been talking in her kitchen about the cuts on her fingers from broken china. The next she’d been pouring out her heart to him and hoping he didn’t feed her any more pickles. Then suddenly, she’d been wearing his collar and…
How could she not love Liam? He’d listened to her, sheltered her, treated her like a desirable woman, and done his best to help heal her. Knowing she’d failed to see how she could comfort and love him more made her feel ashamed. In fact, she’d approached this whole day more like a woman lost in her own insecurities than a sub who wanted to surrender herself to her two loving Doms.
“It’s got to make him wonder, Raine, where he stacks up in your heart. Will you ever love him as much as you do Hammer?”
“Of course! If he has to wonder that, then… Oh, I’ve fucked up.”
“Language, little one.” He shot her a warning stare.
“I know but it’s true. Every time I think I’ve learned something, I turn around and screw it up again.” She beat her forehead with the heel of her palm. “I haven’t been the submissive they need today.”
He laughed. “The day isn’t over. You still can be. Consider what I’ve said. Follow your heart. Be open and loving and—this will be tough for you—patient.”
Raine wanted to be annoyed with Seth, but he already knew her too well. She speared him with a glare, but a smile lurked under it all. “Ugh.”
He pulled her to her feet and gave her a brotherly hug.
She embraced him in return. “Thank you, Seth. I know you didn’t have to do this.”
“I did. You might have kicked me in the balls if I refused to help you.”
She giggled and rolled her eyes. “I’m so scary.”
“Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to cross you, little one. Now go. I need to make some phone calls. And you have some Doms to suck up to.”
Raine sent him a soft smile of thanks. “Yes, Sir.”
* * *
With his handgun tucked beneath his suit coat, Hammer hovered over a bank of monitors in the security room, watching live images from the parking lot, as well as the external doors. Liam’s text about Bill stalking the parking lot enraged him. Hammer didn’t see any signs of the wretched asshole, but he couldn’t shake an ominous feeling.
Leaning back in his chair, he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Stress and lack of sleep were taking their toll. He’d resisted napping for fear another crisis might arise, as if there hadn’t been enough already.
Thankfully, Liam had removed Gwyneth from the club, but that nightmare was far from over. And with Bill’s reappearance, Macen felt a choking need to protect Raine that wouldn’t subside.
Rising, he strode down the hall, back to his office. He grimaced at the stack of mail awaiting his attention. The phone calls he had to return didn’t hold much appeal, either.
He’d barely settled into his chair when he heard a knock on his door. Hammer raised his chin as Raine peeked her head into the room.
“Do you have a minute?” She wore a solemn expression that told him she had something heavy on her mind.
Fuck, what does she know?
Clearing his throat, he nodded. “I’ve got all the time in the world for you.”
As she stepped into the room, she quickly glanced around. “Where’s Liam? I was hoping to talk to him, too.”
“He’s not here, but come in. Shut the door and tell me what’s wrong.”
Hammer stood and rounded his desk, unable to fight the urge to wrap Raine in his arms and promise her everything would be all right.
She closed the door behind her, looking oddly nervous as she glided toward him, dressed again in the jeans and T-shirt she’d worn to breakfast. He tried really damn hard not to notice how the word RECKLESS on the tight red cotton stretched across her breasts.
Taking a few steps forward, Raine suddenly stopped, then sank to her knees before him and cast her gaze to the floor, legs spread, palms atop her thighs.
Hammer stood mesmerized. The breath caught in his lungs. A lump of pride lodged in the back of his throat. His rigid cock jerked demandingly beneath his zipper.
She didn’t say anything, simply waited for his acknowledgement. He gaped for words, then opted for a moment of silence to savor the incredible sight. Yes, she had knelt to him before, but always when he’d instructed her to. She’d never simply offered her submission to him like a gift.
Finally, he stepped between her knees and smoothed his hand over the top of her head, petting her dark, glossy hair. A shiver rippled through her at his touch.
“You look breathtaking, precious. To what do I owe this honor?”
Slowly, Raine raised her head to meet his stare. “I’d like to talk to you and Liam, Sir.”
Christ, her soft voice even sounded submissive. Her open expression seemed to welcome him inside her soul. He wanted to wrap her in his arms, spread her legs, shove his cock inside her, and fuck her to a gasping climax. Then he’d take her to his bed and start all over.
Hammer clenched his jaw and untangled his fingers from her inky hair. He needed to break physical contact with her until he could tamp down the fantasies searing his brain. Raine had come to him with something on her mind. He had to listen to her before anything else. Then maybe he’d strip her down and ravage her.
Part of him hated that plan. Somehow, Hammer had managed to suppress his inner beast when he’d showered with Raine earlier. He’d had her naked and to himself exactly once before. The primal male animal inside him remembered every bit of that night he’d fucked her bareback and raw. Today, as he’d slid his soap-slick hands over her supple flesh, those memories hadn’t been good for his restraint because that hadn’t been the time to plunder her. Now wasn’t, either. The snarling, clawing demand to make her his slave still thundered through him. Without Liam here to balance him, how long would he be able to keep this need at bay?
“I’m sure Liam will be sorry he missed whatever you intend to say. If you’d like to talk to me, I’ll gladly listen.”
She seemed to weigh her options at length. “I can talk to him about it later, I suppose.”