Raine shoved free and brushed his shoulder with her own as she stormed past him, giving him a look that warned him touching her again might mean the end of his balls.
God, he couldn’t let it end like this. Not with anger and bitterness, blame and so fucking much regret. He’d crushed her fragile soul…but what else could he do? He couldn’t explain his rejection without revealing all his nastiest secrets.
Ignoring her silent warning, he grabbed her again and slammed her to the wall, pressing his body so tightly against hers that escape wasn’t possible. His cock jerked. “I told you, I’m not good for you, precious. I hate that you’re hurting, but I won’t let you waltz out the door when you belong here. Get that through your thick, stubborn skull. ”
She squirmed in an attempt to get away, shoving at him and stomping on his foot. But he refused to budge. He watched as she drew in a huge sob.
“You’re not at all who I thought. I fell for a giving, gracious man with a spine of steel and a kind heart. You saved me once, but now…I’m already crying, and you’ve gone out of your way to make me feel both stupid and delusional. ” She shot him a scathing stare. “It’s taken me a long time, but I finally figured it out. You’re the fucked-up one, not me. All this time I thought I was broken, but your issues run deeper. At least I want to grow past my ghosts. You seem awfully content to let them haunt you. ”
His heart clenched. After all the years of shielding her from his demons, she’d still seen through his façade. He’d failed her. A red haze clouded his vision. Fuck!
“What happened to you, Macen?” She shook her head. “Forget it. You’ll never tell me. ” Raising her chin rebelliously, she seared him with her blazing blue eyes. “Thanks very much for the last six years, Sir. Now please, let me go. ”
Impossible. But now what? No fucking clue.
Anger permeated every cell in his body as he slammed his fist into the wall right beside her head. Drywall exploded and rained onto the floor.
“Damn it, Hammer!” Liam barked in rebuke, tearing down the hall toward him. “Just what the hell do you think you’re doing?” When he reached them, he pried Hammer’s biting hands off Raine. The instant she was free, his friend pulled her shaking body into his arms, and she buried her head in his shoulder. “Look at yourself, man. Have you lost your bloody mind, then? Leave the wee lass alone. You’re scaring her to death!”
Hammer clenched his jaw. Liam was right. How had he ever allowed things to get so out of hand? And why did she nuzzle against Liam so quickly, so naturally?
Raine eased away. “I’m sorry if we woke you. I was going to say good-bye as soon as Hammer let me go. ”
“Are you all right?” He stroked the side of her face with a gentle hand that made Hammer want to punch the wall again. When had they started speaking? Why had Liam gotten the idea that Raine would allow him to touch her?
“I’m fine. ” A sad smile curled the corners of her mouth. “Thank you for trying. I really wish. . . ” She shook her head. “But I wouldn’t be good for you, Liam. As Hammer pointed out, I’m nothing but a strong-willed brat. Consider that you’ve dodged a bullet. I wish you the best. ”
Wouldn’t be good for him? As if…they’d done more than shake hands?
“What the hell are you talking about? I never fucking said that, girl!” he growled. “Did you not hear a single word I’ve said?”
Liam sighed. Then with a patient voice, he tucked a strand of midnight hair behind Raine’s ear, fingers sure and soft, as if he’d done it before. “Go down the hall to wait for me in my private room, would you? I’d like to talk to you before you go. ” When she would have protested, he added, “Don’t be making decisions about your future when you’re upset. Let me talk to Hammer. I’ll be in to speak to you soon. Will you do that for me, lovely? This won’t take a minute. ”
She bit her lip as her gaze bounced between Liam’s calm demeanor and his own furious stare.
Raine sighed. “All right. ”
Hammer didn’t miss the ease with which she submitted to his friend. A silent string of curses filled his head as both he and Liam turned and watched her disappear down the darkened hall and into the other Dom’s room.
Once she’d gone, Liam whirled on Hammer, like Raine’s fucking knight in shining armor, his eyes incredulous and damning.
“What is going on between you two?” Hammer growled.
“What’s going on between the two of you?” Liam countered. “I’ve no idea what ruckus caused you and Raine to reach this point, but it’s obvious you’ve gone mad. Do I have to point out that a wee, raven-haired female is undoing you, Hammer?”
Oh, he knew that. As if dealing with Raine wasn’t enough, Liam had joined the fucking bandwagon. To do what, see how much more he could take before he imploded?
“Do you have a point to make? Or should we just step outside so I can break your jaw?”
“I don’t wish to embarrass you as I mop the car park with your face. That won’t solve a bloody thing. Pull your head out of your ass, mate. You’re worried you’ll hurt her with your needs, but you’re afraid to try because Juliet hid how she felt about them. ”
“I never said that,” Hammer snapped. Perceptive bastard.
“Not in so many words, but you’re thinking it. After all I heard tonight, do you think Raine is the sort who would hide her feelings from you? If she wasn’t happy, do you think she’d keep that to herself?”
Hammer bristled. “She’s so damn independent. Do you see her living Juliet’s sort of life? There’s no way she’s ready for that. She wouldn’t let me tell her what socks to wear, much less pick her entire wardrobe. And you know that’s just the tip of the iceberg. ”
“So you want a more trained submissive, but you’re unwilling to do anything to help her become what you need. That makes perfect sense,” Liam drawled.
“I’m saying I don’t think she’ll ever get there. She’d take on the responsibility of trying and it would go against her grain. We’d both be miserable. Not only is it too much to put on her narrow shoulders, it would damage her. I can’t do that. ”
“Then stop holding her to you when she tries to leave. ”
“It’s not that simple. Every time she walks into the room, I come to life. Every time she leaves, I fucking fall apart. I’m not trying to hurt her. ”
“But do you really think you can order her to stay at Shadows after this? You said yourself she’s impulsive. You told me that she left her home when she was barely more than a babe. You think she won’t do it as a woman grown? And before you let your temper talk, think for a moment about a Shadows without Raine. Honestly, how would you feel?”
He couldn’t fucking breathe. Hammer clenched his fists as panic surged through his bloodstream.
“This will blow over. In an hour, she’ll be fine. ”
“Is that what you’re telling yourself? Bloody christ!” Liam shook his head again. “Not this time. You’ve kept Raine on a leash so tight, she’s all but strangling. She’s done with that, I tell you. She’s more than half out the door. ”
“Over my dead body. ”
“Then how badly do you want her to stay? Because I guarantee she’ll be leaving before the sun’s even up. ”
Hammer drew in a rough breath. He hated Liam for butting in and confronting him. Mostly, he hated his friend for being right.
“Goddamnit. ” He swallowed the scream inside him. Raine leaving Shadows was never going to be an option, at least not one he could live with.
“Use your head,” Liam urged. “If you let her leave, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. The pain of Juliet might well pale in comparison. ”
Liam voiced his worst fear. Hammer swallowed.
“What the hell do you want me to do?” he demanded, tossing his hands in the air. “Since you have all the answers, tell me how I unwedge myself from this rock and the hard place I’m in?”
“Well, if you’re not ab
le or willing to help her down the submissive path, I guess I could. ” Liam shrugged nonchalantly. “She’s pretty enough. ”
“Don’t you dare!” Hammer saw red. “You’re far more than Raine can handle, too. ”
“And Beck isn’t? You said that giving her a red ass wouldn’t fix her. Changed your mind, then? You think a sadist would do better?”
No. But Hammer wasn’t trying to fix her…just make her hate him. “Maybe. ”
Liam rolled his eyes. “Give her to me to straighten out. I understand she’s got under your nettle and deserves discipline, but for christ’s sake…What in the hell possessed you to bring that sadistic son of a bitch into the equation? He’ll break her for sure. ”
“No. Raine deserves punishment for her deplorable actions this morning. I’ll make sure she gets it. ”
“And what about your behavior? Raine was dead on the money when she told you that you’d never allow Beck to touch any of your usual subs. Yet the one you’ve protected and nurtured for years, you’d toss her to him like a goddamn bone to a Rottweiler?”
He tried not to wince. “I’ve already handed down the punishment, and I can’t go back on it. She’s undermined me enough. Raine spends a session with Beck. That’s final. ”
Liam turned a scrutinizing gaze on Hammer, as if trying to read his soul. “Very well. But if I can persuade her to stay, I insist on being there. Neither of us should risk Beck losing his head and drawing blood, or forgetting to heed her safe word. ”
Liam and Raine’s lack of trust made him fume. Did they both think he’d simply turn Beck loose to do his worst on her? “Fine. ”
With a nod, Liam turned away abruptly, striding down the hall to find Raine. Hammer just watched. How the hell had everything turned to shit so quickly? With a sigh of disgust, he watched his friend disappear into the bedroom with the woman who’d consumed his soul, hoping Liam could work a miracle.
Liam entered his darkened room. Raine twisted around on the bed to watch him. The lighting from the hallway illuminated her big eyes as they fell on him. The silvery paths of tears stained her cheeks. Her nose was a bit red. Her little-girl lost expression made him want to stride across the room, take her in his arms, and soothe her. But he couldn’t yet. She was nervous and distressed. First things first. He had to calm her, then find out where her head was at.
“Are you all right?” he asked, shutting the door behind him, then lighting a candle on his nightstand.
“I said I was fine. I’m sorry we woke you. What happened with Hammer? Is he mad at you? Or me? Yeah, that’s who he’s really mad at. Damn. Sorry, I’m nervous. ” She drew in a shuddering breath. “I didn’t mean to babble. I’ll shut up now. It really won’t take me long to pack up and be gone. ”
“Stay, Raine. I’d like to talk to you. ” He put just enough command in his voice to induce her to respond. “I would hold you, listen, help if I might. Tell me what happened. ”
Her face closed up instantly, and Liam tamped down his frustration. He had to reach this girl if he was going to use her to help Hammer. And damn it, Raine was one unfulfilled need after another. It simply wasn’t in his Dom DNA to let her suffer like this.
“Tell me. ” He drew closer, sat on the edge of the bed beside her. As she turned her face up to him, he cupped her cheek in his hand. Even in her sorrow and heartache, her delicate features drew him in.
She stiffened, swallowed. Bloody hell, if Hammer was going to be jealous, Liam knew she couldn’t be wary of his touch. He had to fix that quickly…and forget how much he liked putting his hands on her.
“It’s all right,” he assured her. “You’ve had a rough morning. You need to get this off your chest. ”
“Thank you, but you don’t have to trouble yourself. This morning just proved that I need to grow up. I’m sorry. I should probably apologize to Hammer, too, once I get my pride out of the way. But talking about it is pointless. I just don’t belong here anymore. ”
With a heavy sigh, she rose from the bed. His stare fell on her soft curves, and Liam was suddenly aware of how little she wore. As she leaned down to him, she cupped his shoulder—and the tempting valley of her cleavage drew his gaze. To his shock, she brushed a kiss across his cheek. He had to fight the urge to touch her. “Some sub will be very lucky to have you. I’m kind of sorry it won’t be me. But thanks for your offer. ”
He tried to stay calm, think, tread carefully.
“Now don’t leave yet. Sit and tell me what happened. ” He’d give her a more direct command if he must, but he didn’t want to come across as the enemy, so he kept his voice coaxing—for now.