“Seth, Dillon kissed me earlier. I don’t understand why. I mean, he’d only just met me. But I also kissed him. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m confused by…all of this. But I thought you should know, that you had the right to know. ”
Seth pulled away, his eyes troubled. But she didn’t see anger. Or jealousy.
“Come walk with me, Lily. There are a few things we need to talk about. ”
He put his arm around her and led her away from the barn down a stone path that led through a cluster of aspens. There was a bench in a small clearing, and he settled her onto it, but he remained standing, his body language tense and unsettled.
“You probably think we’re all crazy,” he said. “My family. My brothers. The way things are with my parents. ”
She shook her head. “Not crazy. Just different. It’s obvious your fathers love your mother very much. It works for them. ”
“I want it to work for us,” he said bluntly.
She stared back at him, sure she hadn’t understood. He ran a hand through his hair and blew out his breath.
“Something happened when I met you, Lily. Something powerful I’m at a loss to explain. All I can say is that I knew you were meant to be mine. The problem is, the same thing happened with Michael and then Dillon. ”
She looked down, uncertain how to respond. What did anyone say in a situation like this?
“You felt it too, Lily. I watched you with my brothers. You responded to them like you responded to me. ”
“I don’t know what to say,” she murmured.
He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. “I’m going to ask you for the same two things my fathers asked my mother when they met her. Your trust and a chance. ”
She met his gaze, her heart beating so hard, it made her lightheaded.
“There are things you don’t know. ”
“And we’ll get to them. In your time,” he said softly. “I want you to be able to trust us, and more than that, I want a chance. Give us a chance to make it work. ”
The past still had her firmly in its grip, but what if this was her chance to change her future? She couldn’t change what was done, but she could not spend the rest of her life paying for her mistakes over and over.
But what if when they knew the truth they no longer wanted her? It was natural that they’d want a family. They’d grown up in a large family. That was the one thing she couldn’t give them. Could they accept that?
And then it sank in. She was sitting here calmly considering a relationship with three men. Three men she barely knew. There were so many unanswered questions her head hurt.
“I know you’re overwhelmed,” Seth said. “Hell, who wouldn’t be? But this is where the trust and the chance come in, Lily. We have a lot to work out, and it won’t be easy. But we can do it. ”
“Can we?”
He stroked the side of her head, the curls springing back after he flattened them.
“I’m falling in love with you, Lily. I feel stupid even saying it, but it doesn’t alter the inevitable. ”
Her breath stuttered and hiccoughed until she thought she’d choke. Love? Even as she shook her head in mute denial, he was nodding, reaffirming his words.
His eyes were so serious. An intense blue that seemed to sear right into her soul.
How could he love her, or think he loved her?
“Oh God, Seth. You don’t know. You just don’t know. ”
“Then tell me,” he said gently. “When you’re ready, I’ll listen, and we’ll face it together. ”
“Something tells me that if I agreed to…try…that it would be taking the easy way out. ”
“Easy?” He laughed. “I don’t expect any part of this to be easy. Easy would be walking away. Hard is going to be staying and making it work. ”
Walk away. Could she do it? It was what she’d done before and it hadn’t been easy. But maybe it had been easier than facing her reality. She’d been a coward for too long. Maybe it was time to grow a backbone and start living again. Maybe it wouldn’t be with these men, but how would she know if she didn’t try?
She frowned then, because Michael and Dillon had said nothing to her of this.
“Are you speaking for Michael and Dillon?” she asked hesitantly.
Seth rocked back and then rose. “No. I’m speaking for me. I can’t and won’t make their decisions for them. I didn’t pull this out of my ass if that’s what you’re asking. They’re aware of the way I feel. Michael…he was the first to bring this up. I’ll be honest, I fought it. I wanted you. I still want you. But it’ll be up to them to speak their minds and up to you to accept or reject what we’re offering. ”
“Oh. ”
He reached for her hand again and pulled her to her feet. “I’ve given you a lot to think about. I don’t want to overload you. For right now, I only want you to promise me you’ll stay. No more running. Let’s see where this takes us. Okay?”
She took a deep breath and curled her fingers tightly around his. Anticipation and fear curled within her chest and fluttered around in her stomach like a crazy amusement park ride.
Then she met his gaze and saw the hope reflected. And the same mirroring fear. She let out her breath in a long exhale and said, “Okay. ”
Chapter Fourteen
Lily was a little dazed when she and Seth returned to the house. It hadn’t settled in. Yes, she’d told him she’d try it. But how innocuous did that sound? It was as if she’d told him she’d try some new dish. But what she’d agreed to was a relationship—a relationship—with three men.
Nervous laughter bubbled and fizzed in her throat like a shaken-up soda. She was out of her mind. She had no business entering a relationship with one man, much less three. And while she had at least gathered some idea of Seth and Michael, she knew nothing of Dillon. She’d spent all of half an hour in his presence. He’d kissed the daylights of her, but a kiss did not a relationship make.
She shook her head as she and Seth entered the kitchen through the back door. She hadn’t agreed to a relationship. She’d agreed to give them a chance, and she’d agreed not to leave.
Most women in her position would leap at a chance to leave a life on the streets and allow a tender and caring man to shelter her.
She wasn’t most women.
Seth’s hand settled possessively on her hip as they walked through the kitchen and into the living room. To her surprise, Dillon stood by the fireplace, one leg kicked up and his shoe planted against the wall as he leaned back.
She was struck again by his presence. In a family of conservative looking…cowboys¾she was convinced they all looked like the typical western, mountain family¾Dillon stuck out like a steel blade among plastic knives.
Thick muscled arms with intricate tattoos. She was dying to study the patterns, to trace them with her fingers and see how far over his body they ran. Did they extend to his chest? His back?
He fascinated her. He exuded confidence and self-satisfaction, as if he was right where he wanted to be in life and couldn’t care less if anyone else found him lacking.
She glanced around, searching for Michael, but didn’t see him anywhere in the living room, though it was pretty crowded with the rest of the Colter family. They were all watching her, some more subtly than others, but she felt the weight of their stares as they measured the situation.
Tension spiked and held thick in the air. Seth’s hand was a brand on her hip while Dillon’s gaze burned her with its intensity.