"We do it because we care. It's our choice to be out here. No one is making us." His fingers trail across my back, the movement so small I wonder if he realizes he's doing it.
The brush of his fingers makes my mind a whirlwind of confusion. I'm tense with fear, yet a small part of me welcomes the touching. I don't know which reaction is right, though. Shouldn't I hate being touched like I always have?
"How many of you do it?" I ask. "I mean, how many people are at this station place? Do they all do what you do?"
"We all have different jobs, but the main goal is to save whoever we can. And there's quite a few of us, but not nearly enough." He sighs when he notes my expression, probably because I look lost. "The first thing you need to know is that humans are at the bottom of the food chain, and watchers are at the top. Watchers need humans to survive, but humans are becoming few and far between, so wardens have upped hunting for strays."
I frown, not liking the sound of that. "Strays?"
"Humans wandering alone or in low numbers. They're easy targets and if they're captured, they become a Nameless and are either sent to be a personal prisoner to a watcher or sent down to the channels with the wardens to be sold to the visitors."
A sickening feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. "That's what happened to me?"
"I honestly don't know," he says. "You could've been born there if you were in an experimental facility or in one of the breeding chambers."
"What are breeding chambers?"
"Since humans are becoming extinct, wardens have started forcing their prisoners to breed. They keep most of them in chambers in the channels, only the cells are hidden deeper in the ground than the feeding chambers."
I swallow down the vomit threatening to come up. "I don't remember any of that going on where I was."
"I'm not surprised." He breaks out into a jog then leaps over a hole.
The landing bounces me around in his arms, and I clutch onto him, interlocking my fingers behind his neck.
"You were the only prisoner down there," he continues. "There was one more there a few days before, but they must have died before we got a chance to save them."
I remember Blaise running back and checking another cell when they were saving me. Did I ever try to talk to the person in the cell? It's hard to know for sure when no one has names, and I never saw faces.
"Is it normal for the wardens to only have one prisoner?" I ask.
He shakes his head. "Not in one section. Usually, they have at least twenty or so."
"Oh." Then why was I their only prisoner? "They're used to be more down there, I think. I mean, I heard a lot of crying sometimes, and I ..." I trail off as sadness, pain, and terror overpower me.
"It's okay. We don't have to talk about this right now. I get that it's hard. My whole point in bringing this up is so you'll understand how dangerous it is out here," he says, "which puts us at rule number two: never, ever go anywhere near a watcher unless you've followed the proper protocol. It's really important that you follow the rules. It can be the line between surviving and becoming a prisoner again."
"What's the protocol you have to follow if you get close to one?"
"You don't need to worry about that unless you're sent out on a mission, which you won't be."
"Why not?"
He glances at me curiously. "You want to?"
Do I? Do I want to risk getting captured again after being reminded of everything I went through?
"I want to help."
Puzzlement etches into his features. "Every nameless we've ever saved never leaves the station again. They're usually too scared to, and honestly, they don't have enough skills to survive outside."
"I get that, but ..." I let go of him and gesture at the land. "I'm kind of already out here, aren't I?"
His eyebrows furrow. "You're different from the others. And not just because you can communicate and understand."
"Is that bad?" I ask, returning my hand to the back of his neck.
He shakes his head, his gaze boring into me. Eventually, his staring becomes too much, and I have to look away and focus on the city just to get oxygen into my lungs. Is it normal for people to stare like this? For a stare to leave someone utterly breathless, and not necessarily in a bad way?
God, I'm so confused.
"What about the wardens and visitors?" I ask, sounding breathless. "How do they fit into all of this? Are they the same? I've never quite understood it, but I kind of figured they are since they look similar."
"They are and they aren't," he replies. "They have the same DNA and are pretty much the same species, which a lot of people refer to as The Grim. They all look the same, but watchers are stronger than wardens, and wardens are stronger than visitors, which is why the visitors have to pay for Nameless while watchers have their own."
"So watchers are like the bosses of the ..." I meet his gaze. "What exactly are the Grim? Monsters?"
"No one's really sure. Some say they're devils that fell from the sky. Others say they came from another planet. Some have this crazy theory that they were gods kicked out of heaven."
"But you don't know for sure?" I ask, unable to hide my disappointment. How can that be possible? That no one knows what they are?
He shakes his head. "Forsaken know more about The Grim than anyone because they've held on to the old ways of life the longest. But talking to them isn't an option."
"Why? Who are they?"
"They're humans, but their way of life is... I guess the best way to describe it is savage. If you so much as cross paths with them, you won't live long enough to get a chance to ask questions."
I shiver. "They sound awful."
"They are." He wavers. "But, at the same time, it's how they survive. While some humans can be trusted, some can't, so they decided to trust no one, which is why they live longer than strays or even people who seek refuge in the posts."
I hate the idea of coming across a Forsaken, but at the same time... "So, the only people that know what The Grim are, is the Forsaken? No one else does? Maybe you could capture one and ask them?"
He restrains a smile. "While that sounds like a good idea in theory, the Forsakens' knowledge of The Grim is based more on legends than actual facts. But I do know someone who can explain more about The Grim to you. You can talk to him when we get to Leviter Station and ask him all the questions you want."
I open my mouth to ask him why The Grim need the Nameless. Perhaps he knows what they did to me when they put their hands on my chest. Before I get a chance, though, he slows to a stop.
I glance around, wondering if he saw something. Maybe he spotted Ryder and Reece. But I don't see anything around other than the city, which is still quite a few miles away.
I look back at him. "Why'd we stop?"
"Because we're taking a little break from being out in the open and giving Ryder and Reece a chance to catch up if they're close." He lowers my feet to the ground, waiting until I get my balance before letting me go. Then he squats down and brushes his hand across the dirt, revealing a rusted, metal handle.
"What is that?" I tug on the bottom of my shirt, stretching the fabric. "Another one of your compartments?"
"It's East City Post. It's not the same as the broken city, mainly because watchers, wardens, and visitors don't know the posts exist. Well, that and the fact that the city posts are ..." He points at the ground.
"They're underground?" Adrenaline whips through my body, and my knees nearly buckle.
"Allura, I'd never let anything happen to you." His voice is gentle, cautious. "You need to trust me, okay?"
I wring my hands in front of me. "But you told me not to trust you. It was one of the rules."
"I know, but I ..." He rubs his hand back and forth across the shaved side of his head. "God, you're too smart for your own good. I didn't really think that rule through very well."
"What if I just decide that you've earned my trust?" I step closer to him, hoping the gesture will symbolize tha
t I do. "You did save me. I think that kind of earns trust, right?"
"I guess so," he mutters, thrumming his fingers against his knee, his gaze bouncing back and forth between me and the handle. "We really do need to go down there until I can be one hundred percent sure the Tracker isn't coming back."
"Can't it find us down there?"
"No. All the walls down there are made of really thick steel, and they're enough that Trackers can't break through them, and their sensors can't see inside."
As far as I can tell, he's telling the truth. Although, I don't know enough about Trackers and their weaknesses to be entirely sure. And I'm confused about something.
I fold my arms around myself. "Blaise ... I know I said I trust you, and I do, but why is it suddenly okay to go to this East City Post place? In the car, I thought you said I couldn't go because you were worried someone would recognize I'm a Nameless."
"That was before the car got totaled. Drastic times call for drastic measures." He reaches for the door handle but then withdraws and glances up at me. "Before we go in, I need to tell you the last three rules." He rises to his feet, standing in front of me with a serious look on his face. "Rule number three: never let your guard down around anyone that you don't trust. If you let your guard down and show your weaknesses, some people might use them against you." He counts down on his fingers. "Rule number four: don't eat or drink anything that you haven't gotten for yourself. If someone hands you something, don't eat or drink it."
"That's a strange rule." Even in the cell, I had to eat and drink water the wardens gave me.
"Trust me, it's safer. I have a whole, long story about what could happen if you don't, but I don't have time to get into it right now. Later, though, I promise." He ticks down on the final finger. "Rule number five"--he wraps his fingers around my wrist--"never, ever show anyone this." His thumb grazes across the number branded on my skin, and I uncontrollably shiver. "That's your tell. If anyone sees it, they'll know you're a Nameless. And trust me; you don't want that happening."
"Why? Will they tell the wardens where I am?" The idea is horrifying. "Wouldn't that mean they'd get captured, too? And everyone else down there?"