I leap from the bed, my mind racing a million miles a minute. This is all wrong. I’m still being punished—tested—to see if I’ll spill more secrets. “I won’t tell you anything.” I tug my fingers through my hair, yanking at the roots. I never should have opened my mouth. Ever. I’m going to end up like Ellis, buried in the basement, never to be found.
But maybe that’s what I deserve for all the sins I’ve committed.
“Shit,” the detective curses, jumping to his feet. “Emery, please calm down. This isn’t what you think it is.”
My head whips in his direction. “How could you possibly know what I think this is?”
His hands are in front of him as he approaches me like a skittish cat. “Because I know who your father is… know some of the stuff that’s been done to you. You’ve been hurt. A lot. But you need to understand that I’m not here to hurt you. You’re safe now. Everything’s going to be fine.”
For every step he takes toward me, I counter his movement, backing myself toward the door. “How could you possibly know anything about me unless you work for my father? It doesn’t make any sense.”
“You’ve never told anyone what’s happened to you before? No one at all?” His pressing gaze conveys insinuation.
Ryler. My lips remained sealed, even though I think the detective might already know the answer to his question.
He blows out a frustrated breath. “How can I get you to trust me? Tell me what I need to do, because I really want to earn your trust, Emery.”
I bite at my fingernails, glancing around the room. Trust. I’ve only vaguely trusted one person in my entire life. “I want… I want to talk to Ryler. Do you… Do you know who he is?”
He warily nods. “Of course I know who he is.”
“Good. Can you tell him to come here?” My gaze lands on the phone on the nightstand. “Or better yet, give me my phone and I’ll text him. He’s the only one I feel like I can trust right now.”
“I can’t give you your phone just yet.”
My gaze lands on him again. “Why not?”
He scratches the top of his head and then sighs. “Because Ryler works for me, and if he has any contact with you at the moment, he’s going to end up dead.”
Chapter 17
My Salvation
Emery
A panic attack hits me like a ravenous storm. The clouds roll over me in the snap of a finger and adrenaline drowns me and soaks me to the bone. I collapse to the floor and land on my knees, the carpet scraping at my skin.
All this time, he was a lie.
Just like I always wondered.
Yet, he wasn’t the lie I thought.
He was the opposite.
And now I have no idea how to feel.
Not a damn clue.
I want to be angry.
But I can’t find the anger inside me.
All I feel is relief.
“What do you mean he works for you?” I whisper through my gasps. If I don’t get myself under control, I’m going to black out. “Ryler works for my father… He works for Donny.”
“No, he doesn’t.” The detective crouches in front of me and levels his gaze with mine. “He’s worked for me as an informant even before he came to Laramie. He’s been trying to find the location of Donny Elderman’s warehouse so we can bring Donny down.”
I slump back against the dresser and hug my knees to my chest. Breathe in. Breathe out. “That’s what this is about? Bringing Donny’s warehouse down?”
“It’s part of it.” He sits down on the floor, crisscrossing his legs. “I think you know how bad of a man Donny is. If we were able to find him and arrest him, all the stuff that goes on in those warehouses would end.”
I shake my head and give him a really look. “You can’t possibly believe that. His men would continue his work even if he is gone. He’d probably get off easy, too, with all the connections he has.
“He’d continue all his drug experiments. No matter what, his business would remain and innocent people would continue being test subjects for his drugs experiments.”
“Some of that might be true, but it might not. And in the process of arresting Elderman, we’d have a chance to detain a lot of his men,” he says, resting back on his hands. “Those warehouses—that town you lived in—would be gone.”
I elevate my chin and hold his gaze. “So that’s what this is about? Finding the town? The grown man everyone fears?”
“Not everyone fears him,” he replies. “Otherwise, no one would be after him.”
“That’s not true. Everyone fears him in their own way. And fear grows in the dirt of that town, soak the air, are engrained into the minds of every single person who resides there. That’s how a place like that exists. Without fear, the society would crumble.”
He studies me carefully. “You’re an insightful girl,” he finally says with his head tilted. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“You say insightful, most say crazy,” I mutter, which only deepens his puzzlement.
He stares for a moment or two before saying, “Well, my main focus is finding Donny Elderman, not the town. The man has been off the radar for years, yet he’s toxic to the country.” He loosens his tie more, wipes the sweat from his brow, and then rests back on his hands. “But yes, I’d like to bring the town down in the process. From what I understand, there are hundreds of citizens being forced as subjects to his drug experiments. There are no rules, no laws to abide by because no one knows it exists. Regardless, if that restriction and control is based on fear, like you say, a place like that shouldn’t exist. ”
“Why do you care so much?” I wonder, resting my chin on my knee. “Some people usually turn their heads for the right amount of money. Or has no one tried to buy you off yet?”
“No, there have been a few who have tried to buy my silence, but that’s not who I am,” he insists. “I believe that we need to bring the place down.”
I fold my arms and rest back against the dresser behind me. “We? Who said anything about me helping you? I never agreed to that.”
He assesses me and I mimic his move, surprised by my spout of newfound confidence.
“According to Ryler, you’re a good, trustworthy person, which would make you the kind of person who wants to help with something like this.” When I don’t say anything, he straightens his legs and rises to his feet. “Guess Ryler was wrong.” He fishes his phone from his pocket and dials a number. “Doesn’t matter, though. Now that we have Evan Elderman detained, we can still make this happen.”
I’m not positive if he’s telling the truth. The idea that the police somehow managed to arrest Evan seems impossible. “Even if that’s true.” I bend my legs and stand to my feet. “Even if you have Evan, he’ll never tell you anything. He was taught not to open his mouth about his father’s secrets, and unlike me, Evan will do anything to take his secrets to the grave. He’s not weak like me.”
The detective pauses then hangs up the phone. “Unlike you? Does that mean you’ll help us?”
I think about all my confessions to Ryler, how amazing it felt to get the years of lies and sins off my chest. I think of Ellis buried in the basement, forgotten, even by me. Perhaps telling the truth could be my salvation. Ellis said the truth would set me free, and I owe him that much—owe him the truth.
“I’d need to know I was safe first.” I sink down on the mattress. “After this… I’ll never be able to live a normal life, especially in Laramie.”
He sits down near the foot of the bed a few feet away from me. “You can live a normal life, but you’re right. You won’t be able to live in Laramie. We can set you up someplace safe, give you a new name and identity. A new life, if that’s what you want.”
What he’s saying sounds wonderful. I want it so much my body aches, and pleads to be free from the invisible restraints always controlling me. But could it be this easy? I’m still a bit skeptic.
“Are you talking about Witness Protection?” I ask the detec
tive.
He nods. “I am.”
I stare at the backs of my hands. My fingernails are chipped and my skin is dry. I’m falling apart on the outside, yet I don’t mind. With each part of my appearance that breaks, I feel so much more like myself, a person I haven’t fully discovered, but want to more than I want anything else.
My hands drop to my lap. “There’s more that I want other than protection.”
“I figured as much.” He stuffs his phone into the front pocket of his shirt.