“Honestly Hadley,” I take a deep breath, hoping the sense of nausea will pass, “I’m okay. I’m going to be mopey for a while, but I’m done with Marky and that whole relationship. Does it suck? Yes. Am I ready to talk about it? Not yet.”
Nope, still feeling a little sick.
“Okay…” Hadley looks pouty and I can’t help but laugh at her.
“Hads, you’re a wonderful friend, and when I process it all, I’ll come to you.”
“Alright, bestie. I’ll be patient. Just don’t feel like you’re alone, okay?” With a smile, Hadley goes back to the front of the store to greet customers.
I head toward the part of the store we’ve been setting up in anticipation of the author’s reading. I want to stop thinking about Matt and the rights and wrongs of our relationship. There are stacks of boxes filled with our visiting author’s latest romance novel that need to be displayed. I cut open the first box and nearly gasp. The hero on the cover looks just like Matt! Dark, black hair, deep blue eyes, and rippling muscles.
So much for taking my mind off of him, I groan.
As I organize the books and try to avoid staring at the cover, I cave and let myself think about the illicit affair. I want to tell Hadley, but part of me feels like it could mar the precious memories. Plus, it’s just so taboo.
So maybe it’s a good thing he hasn’t called?
The thought hits me like a ton of bricks, and I nearly gasp aloud at the emotional pain.
I love him. To my surprise, a few, heavy tears drip from my eyes. I wipe at them quickly, determined not to be caught crying by Hadley or a customer.
Is it love? Or lust? No. I shake my head. It is love, despite that fact that it sounds wild and absurd and completely forbidden. Those few days with Matt at the cabin were fueled by sex, sure, but it’s also when I realized just how amazing he really is.
What we had was real, I admit, but maybe he doesn’t feel that way.
Frustrated, I shove a box of books with my foot. What the hell am I supposed to do?
“You okay back there?” Hadley calls from the front of the store.
“Yep, fine, just a box in the way.” Trying to control my breathing, I sit down on the offending box and prop my chin on my fists.
Ow. Something sharp is poking my elbow through my jeans pocket. I lean back and fish around for the offending object. What the hell could be in there? What would be so sharp and pointy and …
“Oh my god.” I can’t help but say out loud as I look into my hand.
It’s the missing engagement ring.
I examine the delicate piece of jewelry carefully, worried it may be damaged. But the pearls are luminous, and the antique gold a perfect, subtle shade of deep yellow.
And like that, my tears begin again. Suddenly, I remember. I hadn’t taken the ring off in the kitchen like I’d thought, right before the fire.
No, I shake my head. I’d taken it off well before the fire, when I’d changed from my jeans into my sweatpants when I first go to the cabin. I remember now because I kept catching myself staring at it on the drive up, and by the time I got there, I couldn’t stand to be wearing it.
Happy tears mixed with sadness pour down my cheeks.
We didn’t find it in the kitchen because it was never there.
But my tears aren’t really for my good fortune. Rather, they’re because of something Matt said the first night we had made love.
“I know we didn’t find the ring,” he’d murmured to me, “but I think we found something much more important here.”
Now, holding up the dainty heirloom in the midday light, I know that I have to find a way to get it back to Matt.
Quickly, I scramble to my back office and grab a padded envelope from my desk drawer. I carefully place the ring inside it and seal it tightly.
“Hadley,” I call out, trembling a little. “I need to go out for a bit.”
“A bit like an hour or a bit like two weeks?” Hadley calls back sassily.
“Like an hour. Close up whenever you need to for lunch,” I yell back as I dash out the back door. I clamber into my car, my hands shaking with anticipation.
You don’t know what’s going to happen, I try to calm myself. Besides, you’re just going to go give him the ring, that’s all.
“Don’t cave.” I assert out loud as I whip the hatchback out of its parking spot and begin the drive to Matt’s house.
But as I make the trek across my sleepy town, I feel my resolve ‘to play it cool’ start to wane. For one thing, I’m completely nauseous and it’s not helping. For another, Matt might be mad that I show up out of the blue. And finally, what if Marky is at home? That would really make things awkward.