With a hiss of breath, he rolled toward me, hoisting himself up with his big arms and putting himself between my legs and I immediately felt the hard ridge of his cock pressing into me. He kissed me hard, hot and desperate, his tongue penetrating me while his body moved urgently against mine. It was as if one simple hand job had kicked a hole in the wall around his heart and our kissing was bringing the wall down.
But then it stopped. Just as suddenly as it had started. He stared down at me, his breathing ragged, his cock still hard and pressing against me, his beautiful lips parted as he struggled to catch his breath. His eyebrows slammed together and I felt his breath leave him as he lost whatever war was taking place inside of him. He dropped his forehead to mine, and I knew our lovemaking was not going to happen.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
When he looked away I turned his face back to me so I could look him in the eye.
“It’s okay,” I reassured him.
My body burned for him, and as he rolled away from me goosebumps tickled my skin. He left our bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Ten minutes later he came out dressed.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I can’t sleep. I’m going for a drive.”
I didn’t fight him. There was no point. It would only push him further away. He needed time to face the demons inside him.
When I heard him drive off, I curled into my pillow and fought back my tears, wondering when my man was going to come back to me.
CADE
I didn’t know where I was going. I just needed to get out and drive. Roam the streets. Sometimes it felt like the walls were closing in and it scared the hell out of me because I didn’t know who I was turning into. All I knew was a persistent need to find out who had killed Isaac.
I felt bad about Indy. She was reaching out for me, but I just couldn’t reach back. And it made me feel even worse than I already did. She was my queen and I worshipped her, and there wasn’t one ounce of me that didn’t want to make love to her. But a black cloud had descended onto my soul and I found it harder and harder to block out the anger and grief to give her all of me.
Frustrated, I found myself down at the Playground—the local nickname for a part of town where streetwalkers sold their services to the johns who pulled up to the curb and asked how much. It was a busy part of Destiny. Here the air was thick with hormones, weed, and desperation. Sex was readily available. Whatever you liked. Hand jobs. Blow jobs. Traditional. Anal. Sex with toys. Twosomes. Threesomes. Any ’somes you wanted. For the right price, you got whatever you wanted at the Playground. It was the perfect place to find sex with no commitment, no false promises, and no expectation.
I pulled up to the curb where two women stood next to a streetlight and wound down the window.
“Hey, sugar baby, you looking for some company?” The redhead in a tiny pair of black shorts and a sparkly bra top asked. Her friend with a head of blonde curls turned her back to us as she lit a cigarette. The redhead winked. “No need for you to feel lonely tonight, baby. I can make you feel real good.”
I leaned forward. “What about your friend? She available, too?”
The blonde swung around. She blew out a funnel of cigarette smoke as she sized me up. “You want a three-way baby, that’s going to cost you.”
“How much?” I asked.
“Three hundred,” the redhead replied.
“Sure. No problem.”
The blonde, who seemed a little more street smart and less of a performer than the redhead, cocked an eyebrow at me. “You show me the money, honey, and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
I had twice that in my wallet. I pulled out six, fifty-dollar bills and showed them.
“Well, big boy, let’s go party,” the blonde girl said, dropping her cigarette to the pavement and crushing it with the heel of a thigh-high boot.
The redhead opened the backdoor while the blonde ran around to the passenger side.
“Ready?” I asked them.
The blonde snuggled up to my arm. “Yeah, baby, let’s go do this.”
“Are you for real?” the blonde girl asked as I pulled up out front of the diner. Her name was Nancy. The redhead was Rosie. “You seriously want to buy us a coffee?” She cocked a suspicious eyebrow in my direction. “Or is ‘buy you coffee’ code for some weird-ass fetish you have?”
“Listen, ladies,” I said, cutting the engine and turning to them. “As lovely as you both are, I don’t want to have sex with you. I want to talk. That’s all.”