“I have shitty taste in men, or I used to,” I said when he didn’t speak. “But not now.” I narrowed my eyes at Lance.
“I know you’ve got a past. A dark one. That you think ugly things about yourself. Ugly things that have you shutting out most of the world. That had you walking away after the kiss. But you came back. You pulled me out of a frickin’ burning building. You saved my life. Do not fuck with me with all your ‘it’s for your own good, I’m a tortured badass’ stuff right now. Straight up, it’s not gonna work.”
Again, Lance did that shock blink thing.
I was kind of impressed with myself.
“You disappeared. That’s not happening again,” I declared. “Whatever happens from here on out, you don’t disappear without a word. Not because it hurt me, which it did. But it confused my kid. Hurt him too.”
Lance flinched.
I held fast. “I’m a nice person, forgiving, I don’t forgive people that hurt my kid. But the only reason I’m forgiving you is because I’m almost certain you thought you were doing him a favor just like you thought you were doing me a favor by walking away.” I didn’t let him speak because I was on a roll and I needed to get this all out before I choked on it. “Our home is a shambles right now. My life is. I don’t need to complicate it more. But I like you.”
Biggest understatement of the year.
“I feel safe with you,” I continued. “Nathan feels safe with you. You told me that the things you did for me were selfish. All I’m asking right now, is for you to be selfish again.” I didn’t lower my gaze, even though his was getting so intense it was getting hard for me to stay standing. “I’m asking you to stay.” My voice was little more than a whisper now. “Stay because it’s your job. Stay because of your conscience. Because you want to. Because I want you to. Because Nathan wants you to. Pick a reason, I don’t care which one.” That was a total lie. I wanted the last three reasons to be the reason. “But just stay.”
Lance had started this conversation with his hands straight at his sides, which was mostly his default posture, that or the ‘universal badass’, which was arms crossed over impressive pecs, legs spread slightly wider than hips, chiseled chin jutted slightly up.
His hands were not across his chest. They were fisted at his sides. Another sign I had learned to recognize as a chink in his armor.
His eyes were swimming with all sorts of things. Things I wasn’t smart enough to decipher. I hadn’t studied him enough yet. But I planned on getting my frickin’ Ph.D. in Lance if I could.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay?” I repeated.
He nodded, it was violent, jerky, like he was mad at his decision.
I was not mad at it.
He wanted to stay.
Cue interior happy dance.
Something moved in his eyes.
Something that stopped my interior happy dance and turned on an entire other area between my legs.
The air turned thick. My body hummed with expectation. Of another kiss. Then something that was a lot more than a kiss.
Then, of course, Duke bowled through the door. I didn’t immediately move from my spot, inches away from Lance’s mouth. He didn’t move either. I only knew it was Duke who bowled through the door because he cleared his throat and said, “I interrupting somethin’?” in a harsh tone I’d never heard from the man before.
I jerked back, realizing what this looked like.
Lance didn’t move, only to narrow his eyes slightly at me, then a lot more at Duke.
I didn’t have time to figure out what the heck had just happened because Keltan walked through the door too.
He looked between Lance and I. Then between Duke and Lance.
Then he grinned.
Lance did not grin.
Neither did Duke.
I threw up my hands. “Can we stop with the male testosterone?” I demanded. “I know Nathan isn’t here right now but I don’t need him soaking it in through the air when he gets home. I like my smiling, chatting child.”
Duke stopped glaring at my words.
Lance did not.
Keltan stopped smiling, looking to Lance. “You haven’t told her yet?”
Lance’s eyes narrowed more. “Told you, she doesn’t need to know this shit,” he ground out.
“What shit?” I asked immediately.
Lance focused on me. “Shit we got handled.”
I glared at him, forgetting all the fond feelings I’d been having toward him. “Does this shit have anything to do with me?”
He weathered my stare for a beat then nodded once.
“Well, then, it’s shit I need to know,” I said slowly.
“It’s about the fire,” Keltan said, eyes on Lance, as if he were a lion he just let out of the zoo and wasn’t sure if he’d attack or not. “We might not be able to pin it on Robert. His alibi is watertight, his father no doubt has something to do with it. But—”