I tried to hold myself together and not sob into my son’s nice tux.
“You gave me this life,” he whispered. “You gave me the ability for all of this. I know you saved both of our lives. Not just that day you carried me out of a burning building, but the day you walked away with nothing but me. You were my age. I don’t know if I’d be brave enough to do what you did.”
I didn’t give a fuck about my makeup now. Lucy was somewhere in the house, and she was a magician with the stuff, she’d fix me before the ceremony.
“Yes you would,” I whispered, stroking my son’s smooth face. “We raised a beautiful, kind, strong kid, your dad and I. You would do exactly what I did and more. You will do more. I’m not talking about scoring more touchdowns or whatever.”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “Your son plays for one of the most famous teams in the NFL and still you know nothing about the sport.”
I grinned through my tears. “You know I’m very excited about all your successes. But I’m not talking about money or trophies. I’m meaning being a good husband. A father, when you’re ready.” I narrowed my eyes. My son was young to be getting married, but I supported that on the proviso he still lived some more of his carefree life before kids. That, and I was too young to be a grandmother. “You’re the best son I could ever ask for. You’re the one that saved my life.”
“Mine too,” Lance added, his voice that special, rare kind of soft. He laid his hand on Nathan’s shoulder. “Didn’t think I had a life to save, buddy. But you and your mom proved me wrong.”
Nathan bit his lip in a gesture that was so like my little boy and nothing like the man he’d become. I very nearly lost it right there, but my men helped me keep it together.
I stepped back, straightening Nathan’s tie and messing with his hair in a way that was little more than second nature to me. He didn’t flinch away from me as he usually did in adulthood, he stood there and dutifully let me do what I needed to do. And then, he broke my fucking heart by lifting his large hand and twirling some of my hair in his fingers just as he’d done when his hands were much tinier.
It wasn’t for long, the hair twist, most likely because he knew I’d break down into a sobbing mess if he held our beautiful past in his fingers.
He let my hair go, I swallowed my tears.
Then I admired him. My boy.
My man.
“Alright, you ready for chaos?” I asked him. Because it’s a way of life for us.
He grinned. “Yeah, Mom. All I’ve ever known is chaos, and it’s all I’ll ever want.”
I bit my lip at this, to stop the tears. Nathan saw this, so he leaned in, kissed my head and murmured, “I’ll see you out there. Love you, Mom.”
Then he looked to Lance. “You’ll take care of her?”
I was immediately in my husband’s arms. “Always,” he promised.
And like the last twenty years, he didn’t break that promise.