He’d not been happy with what he found. Dead eyes, emotionless voice. Her beautiful voice spouting lies about what they were. What they weren’t. It surprised him that those words were like a blow to the stomach. That there was nothing he could do to convince her differently when shit had turned her resolve rock solid. He knew it in her face.
No way he’d grovel. Plead. No. So he left. The only girl who punctured his iron clad soul. The one who crawled under his skin.
“So you goin’?” Lucky asked, jerking him back into the present.
He didn’t reply, just wiped his hands on a rag then strode in the direction of the clubhouse. He needed to shower, then he needed to get to his girl.
When he got to the cemetery, he was surprised. Not as surprised as Cade, Brock, and their women were to see him there, though he ignored that. He only had eyes for one woman. The one standing beside a casket covered in all sorts of crazy shit. The one wearing a bright yellow dress, one that showed just how much this shit had drained her. Her eyes were dead. He clenched his fists at the sorrow etched in her gaze. He near exploded at the fucker with his arms around her. He actually stepped forward without even noticing.
“Easy brother….” He felt a firm hand on his shoulder.
He whipped his gaze to Brock, who had stepped away from his woman to restrain him. He regarded him levelly.
“Funeral isn’t the best place to start a brawl,” he stated quietly. “Won’t do any good, ‘specially won’t do any good for her.” He nodded his head at the woman staring into space.
Asher nodded tightly.
Brock stared at him a second more, satisfied he clapped his shoulder and moved back.
Asher watched the whole thing woodenly. Some part of him found it fuckin’ insane that no one here, apart from the Sons, were wearing black. All of them were decked out in crazy colorful shit. Hippy shit. They were obviously Lily’s people. Surprised the shit out of him. Lily did not seem like she came from a free love household. Girl was as timid as a mouse, with everyone but him anyway. She wore fancy shit. Understated, as if she was trying not to draw attention to herself, but when you’re that beautiful, you’d have to don a fuckin’ sack to go unnoticed.
His entire body turned to stone when Lily got up, in front of the entire fuckin’ crowd and spoke in her soft and throaty voice, speaking beautiful words about a woman who was obviously her world. She spoke like someone who didn’t battle with crippling shyness, who wasn’t wrestling with the demon of death.
His heart swelled with pride, admiration, and need. He couldn’t go without her anymore. Couldn’t let her go through this shit alone. During her speech he had realized the reason for those dead eyes, that dismissal years ago. The reason why she’d quit the store, near dropped off the face of the earth—her mom. And he knew Gwen and the women had been oblivious to the fact her mom was even sick. He knew Lily would have some fucked up reason for that shit. Not telling people, not looking for help or support.
His gaze narrowed at the man who yanked her into his embrace when she finished.
First, he needed to eliminate that fuck.
We arrived back at the cemetery that was illuminated by the rising sun. The place where my mom was buried. The thought chilled me. But the morning sun shining on the place where she rested filled me with some warmth, even with the crispness of the morning air. She was surrounded by beauty. I was the one who had to live with the ugliness death left behind. Asher stood with me as I regarded the scene silently. He didn’t seem to find it uncomfortable, he didn’t press to speak. Just stood there silent and sentinel, watching me, giving me strength. I forgot about that. The comfortable silence I’d enjoyed with him. I had gone over the words I hadn’t realized how the silence was just as important. It was only someone special you could be silent with. Once in a lifetime special.
“I’m going home now,” I croaked, motioning to my car.
He nodded. “I’ll follow you, babe,” he declared as if it was some kind of foregone conclusion. As if my protests before were inconsequential.
I turned to fully face him. “No, you won’t,” I told him firmly.
He frowned at me, pushing off his bike, which he was leaning on. Leaning well I might add. He stood in front of me, not touching me, thankfully.
“I thought we’d discussed this,” he said quietly.
I glared up at him. “We hadn’t discussed,” I snapped. “You did the whole ‘I’m hot and alpha and my word is law’ thing and expected me to obey. I don’t obey,” I informed him. Some strength, some backbone had emerged from God knows where. Maybe I had changed with the darkness that entered my soul. There was no reason to be timid and shy when I’d already realized my worst fears and lived them.