I chewed my lip, my worry not leaving me. Brock’s mouth brushed my forehead. “Stop thinking about the asshole babe. You’re here, you’re safe. Nothing or no one will ever hurt you again. I got you,” he promised softly, his mouth brushing my ear.
The tingles that went down my spine helped to dissolve my worries, as did the strong arms encircling me. Anxiety still swirled in my gut though, and deep down I couldn’t shake the fact something terrible was going to happen.
“Enough about that cockroach,” Garrett boomed. “Let’s talk about my boy here referring to Katherine as an incubator,” His twinkling eyes were on Brock. “Fucking hilarious, my man. You’ve got my blessing with that one after that shit,” he declared with a grin.
I ignored the stomach squeeze at that comment and from there the conversation moved on to lighter topics, the tension in the room dissipating slightly before Garrett declared he had to leave. I was upset that my uncle couldn’t stay longer and so was he, it seemed. But he had business in China that couldn’t wait and he promised he would be back to see me as soon as he could.
After he left I lounged around with Gwen and Belle while the men folk made themselves scarce. Brock seemed reluctant to let me out of his sight for extended periods of time, which meant he popped his head in every now and then, sometimes coming to press a soft kiss to my forehead. It confused the shit out of me, but I was too emotionally drained to contemplate it.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, Amy?” Gwen asked, looking at me with concern.
“I’m sure,” I replied firmly. She bit her lip, looking unsure.
“I’m going to be fine, Gwennie. You need to go home and get some sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow.” I put my hand on her shoulders.
“You promise you’ll call if you need anything?”
“I promise.” I made a cross over my chest.
She threw her arms around me. “I’m so glad you’re back. I missed you so much.”
I sighed into the embrace. “I missed you too.”
She pulled back. “Once this whole kidnapping thing is a little less fresh I’m going to totally kick your ass about the whole taking off thing, and you’ll have some serious explaining to do, young lady.”
I smirked at her. “Wow, look at you, going all mom on me.”
She opened her mouth to retort when Cade joined us at the door, Belle in his arms. “Come on, baby, it’s time for me to get my girls home.”
Gwen glared at him for a second before turning her attention back to me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you.”
“Love you, Gwennie,” I replied quietly.
I looked up at her husband. “Thanks, Cade, for everything.”
Cade leaned in, brushing his lips on my cheek. “Don’t need to thank me, darlin’, you’re family,” he said before directing his family outside.
I stood in the foyer, wrapping my arms around myself, letting the atmosphere of my home settle around me. This was home for me. Not just this house, but Amber and everyone in it. The cold, sprawling penthouse where I grew up had nothing on this place. I felt safe here, like I belonged. No matter the fact there wasn’t a Barney’s or Bergdorf’s in a hundred mile radius.
“You should be sitting down,” a voice informed me.
I jumped slightly and turned to see Brock leaning against the doorframe. He was really something in his jeans and cut. Tattoos sprawled across his arms, and I took in his long hair and handsome face. I shook myself.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“That’s why you’re standing in the middle of the room staring into space?”
“I just needed a moment,” I told him. “You can go now. I doubt I’m in danger of bleeding out anymore and I think my chances of getting kidnapped again are reasonably slim.”
Brock frowned at me. “I’m not going anywhere, Amy.”
“What do you mean? Your job’s done. I’m home. You can go back to your life. We can both go back to the way it was.”
“The way it was?” Brock asked in a dangerous tone, pushing off the door. “You mean the fuckin’ hell of the past year, trying to get you to talk to me, to fuckin’ look at me without running off?”
I straightened. “I didn’t run off,” I argued.
“Cut the shit, Sparky. You’ve been avoiding me ever since…” He paused.
Ever since Ian died was the unspoken phrase hanging in the air.
“Then after what happened at Cade and Gwen’s wedding you spouted all that bullshit and ran off,” he continued, smoothing over the ‘Ian dying’ part.
“It wasn’t bullshit!” I protested, for some reason carrying on the lie, protecting my heart.
Brock stepped forward so he was way into my personal space, his presence overwhelming my senses. I hated it when he did that, using his body against me. He knew it distracted me.
“Don’t lie to me, Amy. Not again. Not after everything we just went through. Not after I almost lost you.” His voice held a warning but he stroked my face tenderly, staring at me.
“You have to go,” I pleaded quietly, feeling emotionally raw.
He shook his head slightly. “I’m not going anywhere, Sparky. I’m not letting you push me away again. We’re going to do this, you and me.” His voice brokered no argument.
I gazed into his eyes, taking in the determination and, emotion in them. They were unguarded.
“I’m afraid,” I confessed finally.
His face softened. “What are you afraid of?”
“Losing…” I started, but his fingertips brushed my lips.
“You aren’t going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
“I know,” I said.
His actions and the look in his eyes right now told me how much he was in this. I had known deep down how much he cared about me, but self-preservation had me in denial.
I took a deep breath, “I’m afraid of losing myself. Of getting so deep in this that I attach everything that I am to you. And if something happens I not only lose you, but I lose myself too.” I told him my greatest fear, what I knew would happen if I gave into what this was between us. Because I knew what we had; it wasn’t hearts and roses warm fuzzy type of love. It was a soul-wrenching, heart destroying, all-consuming kind of love. It could be the greatest thing to ever happen to me, or it could ruin me beyond repair.