I had been teasing her unmercifully about how bundled up she was, so she’d knocked down the hood of her jacket, and I had caught her at a moment I always thought of as most herself—turned back toward me, away from the sea, her hair streaming out behind her, a big as life grin on her face that made me ache to smile back at her—even years later.
I was sick of feeling the way I had since Dasha’s death—cold and empty and lonely. I missed his friendship, but I also missed the sense of family I’d had with him and his daughter. It was even getting to the point where I was sick of work, which was absolutely unheard of for me. Rising in power was everything I strived toward. Or at least it had been.
I’d always been a loner. Like Raychel, I’d also lost my father to murder. And like Dasha’s death, I knew we’d never truly know the reasons why both men had to die. I’d grown up with my mom as a single parent at a time when single parenting in our community was definitely not all the rage. I had ended up having to spend an inordinate amount of time with the wrong kind of people trying to prove myself in the underbelly of the world for the sake of my father’s memory. I knew I was quiet and serious even from toddlerhood, and it wasn’t until I grew up and filled out that I began to get much in the way of attention from anyone else. Once my shoulders began to broaden and my voice dropped sexily, nearly every girl in school ran after me.
But I was having none of it. I’d seen my mother’s battle, working herself to the bone to run a struggling household with only the help of her young son, trying to make a decent life for him and get the things he wanted. I had made up my mind early on that that I was going to make enough money that my mother wasn’t going to have to work anymore, and I’d run and grow an empire to its full potential no matter how dirty my hands had to get to get there. I would be the man that my father and his father’s father would be proud of. The LaSalla name would not be lost, and I would keep their memory alive, and the name would be synonymous with power.
My dreams had been realized to an incredible extent, due to some smart business moves and connecting with the right people. I had been able to keep my mother comfortable until the day she peacefully passed. I had made her proud regardless if it was crime money that paid the bills. It’s all she ever knew, and she never once judged me for it.
The only thing that had been missing in my life was a special woman. Despite my father’s early death, I always remembered the healthy dynamic and love my parents shared. I also knew it was the same dynamic my grandparents had—old-fashioned and traditional. The man was the head of the household and had a duty to lead, protect, and love the woman of his life unconditionally. It wasn’t a hard concept for me to grasp. I liked to be in charge, there was no doubt about that. I took the lead in nearly anything I did, and I would want a woman who could be comfortable with that arrangement. I fully intended to be the head of my household, although that didn’t mean that I would ever discount my wife in any way.
I wanted an equal partner.
I wanted a strong woman—strong enough to submit and allow me to have the final say on major decisions. To fully trust that her man would do what’s right and always have his wife’s best interest at heart.
I would also take my wife over my knee if I felt she needed it and then fuck her brains out after. Although this wasn’t something that I revealed to every woman I dated, and there were definitely some who could have used a good session with my belt. I let those ladies go with absolutely no regrets. I didn’t want a bratty woman. I would spank, and I believed that the man being the head of the household and disciplining his wife when he saw fit was the natural and normal way of things. But it wasn’t something I wanted to have to do every five seconds. I took the idea of leading and protecting very seriously, and I knew my potential partner was going to have to feel the same way. I was into some kinky shit when it came to sex, but this desire took precedence over most others and the right woman needed to come along to feed it.