The last thing Christopher had said, though, was the kicker. As he was shrugging into his coat, he turned to me, saying, “She loves you, you know.”
I had been staring down into my coffee. “I know.”
“You’ve seen the portrait?”
I nodded.
“Good. You’ve been her heart for as long as I have known her.” Christopher stood stock still until I looked up at him. There was more than a little threat in his eyes and his tone when he spoke. “Don’t hurt her, or I’ll hurt you. I may not run in the circles you do. I sure as fuck haven’t done or seen the things you have. But if you hurt my friend, I will fucking kill you.”
Somewhat able to understand how he felt about Raychel, and grudgingly glad that she inspired such devotion in her friends, I nodded, not challenging the threat as I might have. A threat to kill me coming from anyone else would have not gone over so well. “I love her, too. I would never hurt her deliberately.”
“Good. Make sure you keep it that way.” He left me in his wake, wondering whether I had just made a rival or a friend.
Raychel’s landlord hadn’t wanted her to go. She was quiet, she paid on time, and it was mid-lease. But I had paid the rest of it off for her, and had all of her belongings moved to my house.
It was a bit presumptuous, I admitted, but I was going to make her stay there while she was recuperating, and I couldn’t stand the idea that at the end of that time, she might choose to just get up, like she had in the middle of the night, and leave me. I wasn’t going to lose her, even if I had to tie her to the bed… which had its advantages and made my cock hard just thinking of doing so.
I did my best to soothe her. “I want you to live here, where I can take care of you.”
“No, Anthony, it wouldn’t be right!”
I scoffed. “Of course it’s right! It’s the best thing. I—” I almost blurted out that I loved her, then reconsidered. “I want you close at hand.”
“But you don’t need to take care of me like this. I’m fine on my own.”
It probably wasn’t the right time, or the right place, but I took both of her hands in mine, squeezing them gently, rhythmically.
I had to let go and be open. If I kept the door truly closed around my heart, I would lose Raychel. I couldn’t allow that to happen. It was time. It was long overdue, and I was done living in the darkness when the light was calling to me. Raychel was my light. My only light.
Chapter Seventeen
Raychel
Anthony swallowed hard, then began to speak in a voice that cracked every once in a while with emotion. “When—when your father died, I thought I was going to die, too. Sometimes I wanted to die, just so that the hurt would stop. I blamed myself for his death, and how it went down. To this day, I still feel like there was something I could have done to stop it. I had failed him. I had failed you. Because of me, and my failures, you had to live alone. I was alone. But then we started to go out for our little lunches, and that started to give me something to look forward to, and little by little, they kind of became my lifeline. Seeing you was a little like seeing him. It reminded me of our past. The two of you were the only family I ever truly had. As fucked up as it sounds, I became part of Black Secrets because that was as close to a family as I could get. Until Dasha allowed me to be part of yours.”
I nodded, crying. I had felt exactly the same way about getting together with him—above and beyond the fact that it fed my obsession with him.
Anthony looked me straight in the eye. “It’s more than that now, though. Much, much more. I want you, Raychel. When you touch me, sparks fly. I thought I was going to fucking die from the flood of emotions I had when we had sex—I wanted you so much in ways I’ve never wanted anyone. I love you.” Anthony reached out to cup my still swollen and battered cheek. “I love you. I never thought I could love like this, but you have proven me wrong. I love every solemn, stubborn, prideful inch of you.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I couldn’t. He loved me? How could that be possible? I couldn’t take in what he was saying, not one bit.
Anthony was already fishing around in his shirt pocket, and pulled out a small ring box, popping it open to reveal a huge marquis cut diamond solitaire set in gold. “Will you marry me?” He already had the ring out of the box and onto my finger before I had a chance to answer him.