I froze, wondering if this constant threat of spankings for any infraction at all would become the norm.
“And, yes, I plan on disciplining you when needed. I told you that I was fully stepping up to the plate now as your guardian.”
“How did you know that’s what I was thinking?”
Somehow, I could see him shrugging even over the phone. “Because I know you well.”
“I don’t need a guardian, you know. I’m a grown woman and can take care of myself.”
Anthony grunted. “Well, if you don’t need me to watch over you and issue discipline when you need it, then you and your ass have nothing to worry about.”
“Is that all you called for, to talk about my ass?” I asked with bite in my tone.
“It’s a great topic of conversation, if you ask me.” He chuckled, and it instantly made me smile. “I wanted to make sure that you survived the spanking.”
“Yes, and it won’t be happening again.”
“I mean it when I say that I take being your guardian very seriously, Raychel,” came the steady, even reply. “Whether it’s your last spanking remains to be seen.”
As far as I was concerned, there was no proper reply to that, so I kept quiet.
Anthony laughed again. “Smart girl.”
I cleared my throat, anxious to change the topic. “So how are things going for you?”
“Good. Had some business dealings play out that were pretty lucrative. I’m getting tired though and am seriously considering stepping down and retiring. After Dasha died… I’ve been considering a fresh start at life. One where Black Secrets is not part of it.”
Fresh new start… Could the same be said for Anthony and me?
We chatted for a little while longer, a much more casual conversation than we had probably ever had. It was hard to be staid and staunch with someone who had seen you sobbing over his lap.
Eventually, he let me go, but not before he’d managed to slip into the conversation how much he enjoyed seeing me more often. He also touched on how much it had meant to him to hold me after my spanking. He mentioned that it was the first time he’d held a woman like that in a long time.
That caught me by surprise. I had known he hadn’t been involved with anyone since that awful night my father was killed, but to hear how long it had been for him to be close to someone in general… and then to realize that I was the woman he’d broken that streak with. It made me think, long and hard, about where we were going, and whether or not I wanted to be along for the ride.
I sat for a very long time in my chair in the dark, thinking and twirling my hair.
But I knew, deep down, that I was already caught, like a fish on the line, and all he had to do was reel me in—that it had been that way for many years now. Before and after my father—and regardless of whether or not anything ever happened between us, more than what had already happened, it would always be that way.
He was everything I wanted, everything I craved.
And I was awfully close to letting him catch me.
Chapter Eleven
Anthony
I was such a creature of habit that even though I had tried to present our get-togethers as casual, they became as routine as our once a month lunches. They were very carefully planned and scheduled, although I didn’t seem to have any sort of length of time for them. Sometimes we literally spent all day together.
We were both reveling in it, but we never discussed it. We were each too closemouthed about our feelings to bring it up. I was afraid that talking about it too much would dispel the fragile tendrils of friendship and camaraderie we had developed. Raychel was finally starting to unwind with me and relax a little. I had never realized until I started to get to know her better just how uptight and tense she’d been around me all the time. As one by one, the self-protective layers she’d hidden behind began to peel back and fall away, the gorgeous rose hiding beneath them was gradually being revealed.
Raychel would never be flashy and outgoing and the center of everyone’s attention, as Dasha had been. This was a trait that clearly did not run in the family. She was too shy for that and would never want all eyes on her. But she shone in her own pleasant, soft-spoken way, especially when she was doing or seeing anything to do with art.
I had taken her to several shows in the surrounding areas, and watching her was like seeing an entirely different person. I had never seen her so animated. Her face glowed as she took in each painting, but it was as if she was in a trance. Raychel didn’t just look at the art on the walls. It was as if she fell into each frame, wrapping the colors around her like a cloak, embracing every brushstroke. One of the exhibits featured impressionists, Monet in particular, and I watched her as she stood in front of painting after painting, just absorbing it with a soft, barely there smile of complete understanding and true ecstasy on her face.