I barely had a bite of the brownie. I was spending all my time watching her, although I tried not to let her see it, knowing she would stop as soon as she realized that my eyes were on her.
All good things came to an end, though. Raychel put her spoon down in the bowl and looked up at me sheepishly. “I’m so sorry! I ate almost the whole thing! It just tasted so good—”
“No problem at all. I don’t need it anyway, and I much preferred watching you enjoy it so much.”
She blushed like she always did, but she seemed happy and content for the first time this whole evening, and I found myself wanting to make her feel that way again.
We each had a cup of coffee, which was just about the amount of time I needed to recover some control over myself. I realized, in my car on the way back to her place, that I didn’t want to let her go. But when I suggested that I come up to her apartment, she got that wary look in her eyes again, and practically backed out of the car and away from me.
“I’m fine. I can let myself in. No need for you to get out of the warm car,” she said as she quickly shut the door and made her way to the rundown apartment building.
“Hold on!” I called as I killed the engine of my car and bolted after her. “You are stripping me of my gentlemanly duty of walking a lady to the door.”
I caught up with her at the top of the stairs, and without thinking and acting on impulse alone, followed an age-old instinct, I took her into my arms and bent her over my arm, making her need to reach up to cup my neck to maintain her balance. Those small, soft fingers landed on my sensitive nape as I settled my mouth down onto hers gently.
Raychel’s mouth was open from the shock of it, and I took advantage of that fact, slipping my tongue past her lips to plunder beyond. She still tasted of caramel and chocolate, and I wanted more. I wanted all of her, and the need that washed over me was so great, I wasn’t at all sure I could control it. It flooded through me like an avalanche, leaving me aching for her, for every inch of her. Always, before, there had been Dasha and the fact that she was practically a child to halt my voracious desires. I had control back then.
Now I was out of control.
Now I was a fucking bastard—hungry for more.
Now I was beginning to see there was Raychel—to both spark and quench my appetite.
And I wanted her.
And I would have her.
“Anthony…” she murmured against my lips, but didn’t pull away.
I continued to dance my tongue with hers, feeling sensations course through my body that had been forbidden to feel. So wrong. So fucking wrong.
For the first time since Dasha’s death, I felt alive again. Truly alive. My heart beat harder with every second of the kiss. It was almost as if Raychel was breathing life into my soul once again.
“Anthony,” she breathed, this time putting her hand against my chest and softly pushing me away. “This is wrong. We can’t.”
Shaking my head, I continued the kiss. I didn’t want to stop and face the harsh reality of our situation, but she continued to press away. Reluctantly, I pulled back to stare into her startled, wide eyes. “Tell me it doesn’t feel right.”
“It does,” she whispered. “But, we can’t… what would my father say? What would everyone think?”
I positioned her body so I could embrace her fully against my chest and stroked the back of her head, not sure I could find the right words to say. “This is our business. No one else’s.”
She snuggled her face against my chest, clearly enjoying the close proximity as much as me. “This isn’t right.”
“Fuck that,” I growled.
“Our age. I’m so much younger and—”
“Who gives a fuck?” My cock was talking. Not my mind.
She clung to my shirt with her small fists. “I don’t know. It’s just wrong. We aren’t supposed to do this.”
A small bubble of rage attacked my core at the unfairness of my fate. “Says who? Who gets to make the rules in our life? Is there some rulebook I’m not aware of? This is between you and me and us alone.” I pulled her off my chest so I could stare directly in her eyes. “I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how to make this right. But I know I feel something, and I know you feel something too. What that is? I don’t know.” I kissed her softly on her lips before adding, “All I ask is that we walk toward what could be between you and me instead of pushing away. Let’s at least be open to the possibility. Okay?”