Kellan glances at my computer bag in the back seat. “Were you able to get any work done this weekend?”
I shrug. “Some.” Right now, I’m not really worried about it. My stomach is in knots. “I’m sure I’ll be swamped when I get back to Phoenix,” I add.
He nods. “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be busy too. With Stewart and Hallie gone on their honeymoon, I’m sure I’ll have a lot of time on my hands though.”
That makes me smile. “You spend a lot of time with them, don’t you?”
Grinning, he looks over at me. “Stu’s my best friend. And how can you not love Hallie?”
Hearing him say that makes me miss all of them. “You know, I never realized how much I actually miss my family. Now that my mom thinks we’re together, she was a lot easier to talk to today.”
Kellan winks. “Glad I could help.”
We’re almost to the airport and I know it’s now or never. I open my mouth to speak, but the words don’t come out. We pull up to the terminal and I know I’ve lost my chance. There’s no time left. Kellan reaches over and takes my hand, kissing it gently. “I’ll grab your bags.”
He gets out and I do the same, hating myself for not having the courage to say what’s on my mind. I’m afraid to. The last thing I want is for Kellan to say it won’t work. I’ve never had a long-distance relationship before. Kellan reaches into the backseat and pulls out my computer bag and suitcase. There’s a long line of cars waiting to drop off people off.
Kellan hands me my bags and we stand there, staring at each other. His smile fades and he blows out a breath. “Guess this is it.”
I nod. “Guess so.”
He leans in and kisses me, and I don’t want it to end. “Please say you’ll at least call me every now and again. If not that, then maybe an email?”
My eyes burn, but I hold back the tears. “I will.”
He kisses me again and it takes all I have to walk away. I keep hoping he’d tell me he was in love with me like I am with him, but he doesn’t. Now that my back is to him and he can’t see my face, I let the tears fall. I’m almost to the door when I hear him shout my name.
“Hope!”
Stopping in my tracks, I don’t dare turn around. I quickly wipe my tears away, but he grabs my hands and pulls me toward him. His breath comes out in rapid pants and before I can say anything, he closes his lips over mine. Car horns blow incessantly behind us, but all I can think about is being in his arms. He breaks the kiss first and leans his forehead to mine. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Hope. I can’t ask you to stay because I’d never ask you to give up your life in Phoenix. But …”
My heart’s beating so fast I feel like I’m going to faint. “But what?” I ask breathlessly.
He cups my face and our eyes meet. “But I can ask you to give us a chance. I don’t want this to end right here, Hope. This weekend was amazing. I don’t care what I have to do to make this work, but I’ll do anything to try. Please tell me you feel the same way.”
I nod so fast my head starts to hurt. “Yes,” I cry. “I wanted to tell you how I felt but I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same way.”
Shaking his head, he kisses me again, this time it’s slow and deep. There are people walking all around us, but I don’t care. “I’m falling for you, lassie. So, fucking hard.”
“How are we going to do this? Long distance relationships don’t work.”
His lips pull back slightly. “How will we know unless we try?” He places a gentle kiss on my forehead.
“Then I guess we’ll try,” I murmur. “I want this more than you know.”
Time is running out, but he hugs me one last time. “Go before you miss your flight. I promise we’ll figure this out.”
Reluctantly, I let him go and watch him hurry back to his car. He smiles at me when he gets in and I wave, not knowing when I’ll see him next. I already miss him.
8
Kellan
My arm wraps around the metal pole of the subway car as I steady myself. My ear buds are in but only sounds of the ocean is playing. I’m more interested in the magazine in my hands. It’s slightly hard to read and harder to write in, but I’m determined to take this test Hope told me about in this month’s issue of Vogue. Yes, I’ve become a Vogue man. And People. And Cosmopolitan. Why? Because Men’s Health doesn’t have quizzes to help me figure out if Hope and I are going to make it with a long-distance relationship, they don’t tell me when I should ask her to move back home or if I should start looking for a job in Phoenix. The magazines I normally read on my commute do nothing to help me try and understand why, when I text my girlfriend it can take her hours to respond, but if I email her, it’s an instant response. The action doesn’t make any sense to me. She still has to stop what she’s doing to respond so why not just text me back? Vanity Fair says it’s because that is how she likes to communicate. As long as there is a reason, I accept it and move on.