“It’s early, sweet pea.”
“Couldn’t sleep.”
He pulls a patio chair close to me and sits down. Like me, he’s staring out into the surf. Out there, it’s where he loves to be. Every day, unless he’s on tour, you’ll find my dad in the water and normally my mom sitting in the sand watching him. I want a love like theirs. The all-consuming-never-wavering type of love.
“You okay, baby girl?”
I nod and lean toward him so I can rest my head on his shoulder. He’s never been one to prod, always waiting for us to come to him with an issue or problem. It’s like he stands back in the shadows, knowing eventually we’ll confide in him. He knows mostly everything about me, except for when it comes to Noah. I don’t think there will ever be a time when I can look my dad in the face and tell him I’m in love with Noah. Never mind the age difference, which isn’t an issue the older I get, but it’s the fact that it’s Noah, his best friend’s son.
“Want to go surfing?”
“I wish.”
“I can make it happen.” I look at my dad, who’s smiling widely. “You know I would never do anything to jeopardize your recovery.”
“I know,” I tell him as my head starts to nod. “I never thought I’d miss it until I was told I couldn’t.”
My dad kisses me on the forehead and disappears to the side of our condo where the shed is. He comes back with his wetsuit on and sets his surfboard in the sand. “Be right back,” he says as he goes into the house. My heart is beating rapidly with anticipation, wondering how this is going to work.
When he returns, he pulls off the blanket I was using to stay warm. As if he’s in a hurry, he takes my leg and slips it into a heavy-duty trash bag and starts taping it up, like I’m about to take a shower. He turns and crouches down in front of me. “Get on.” I climb onto his back and start laughing. “Ssh, your mother will kill me… but it’ll be worth it to see you smile.”
A lone tear escapes when he says that. I imagine the accident and subsequent recovery has been hard on everyone. When we get down to the surf, he slides me down to the sand. “Okay. I’m going to set you on the board and we’ll paddle out together. If you fall in, I’ll save you.”
I nod and reach my arms out to him. He cradles me for a minute before he sets me on the board. I expect him to get on behind me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he pushes us out, treading water the deeper we get. The waves are minor but still exhilarating. Being out here and letting the sun hit my face as it wakes up, will be worth the wrath I receive from my mother.
By the time we’re done, I’m soaked, and I love it. My clothes are waterlogged. My hair is drenched. But it was all worth it. When we get back to the house, thankfully Mom isn’t awake yet. Dad does his best to get me fresh clothes and when Mom wakes up, he winks and presses his finger to his lips. Mom was none the wiser.
The nurse is gentle as she scrubs the dead skin off my leg. I’m smiling at the memory of my dad and I surfing, knowing that soon I’ll be able to get back out there and ride next to him.
Even though my cast is off, I’m still in the chair. Everyone in the office claps for me as my dad pushes me out. Dr. Colby was hesitant to see if I could stand and wanted Xander to be the one to test out my leg, fearful it’s too weak to withhold my weight. Bless her heart she never brought up the fact I may not be able to walk right away.
28
Noah
I’m the definition of a chicken shit. For weeks I have avoided the inevitable. Dessie planned a wedding, invited people and somehow I haven’t grown a set to tell her no or that we’re making a mistake. Not only that, but she’s delusional enough to think this is what I want. Maybe it is. Maybe I’m too blinded by my infatuation to see what’s in front of me. Dessie is pregnant with my child, and at some point, I must’ve thought marriage was in the cards for us since I asked her to move in with me.
Needless to say, I have frozen feet solidly encased in cement being anchored to the ground. I don’t know if I’m making the right decision or any decision at all for that matter.
Dessie’s loving the attention she’s getting from the local paper. Of course, it’s big news when your former high school standout returns home to get married, which was never my intention, yet as my tuxedo pants are being yanked, pulled and I’m asked which side do I hang, I haven’t found the words to tell her we can’t do this.