“Yours?” Coen asked incredulously. “She’s not yours, asshole. She’s not mine either. I can come over here whenever the hell I want as her friend. You need a reality check, Slate. Big time.” He wiped his nose on the back of his forearm and walked into the kitchen, probably to clean himself up.
I breathed so hard my chest started to ache from the contractions. My nostrils were flared to twice their size, and I was still so livid I couldn’t think straight. I could feel my pulse everywhere, from my ears to the veins in my back.
“Slate.” Monroe’s voice came from behind me, heavy with pain.
I slowly turned around and faced her, and I felt ashamed the second I looked at the disappointment in her eyes.
“I think it’s best if we don’t see each other anymore…” Her eyes watered noticeably as she spoke, just as they did when I’d ended our relationship. “You can’t come by here anymore. You can’t care if I’m friends with your brother. You can’t throw a hissy fit every time you get jealous…not when I don’t mean anything to you. You’re playing with me…and I don’t like it.”
“I’m not playing with you—”
“You did the exact same thing with Wyatt. You didn’t want me, but when someone else did, you got jealous. You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either. You want to keep me on your leash, keep me heartbroken as long as possible.”
“That’s not true—”
“Get out. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
Breaking up with her was hard enough, but hearing her cut me out of her life for good was worse. “Monroe—”
“I’m not Simone. I’ll never be Simone. I’m a good and loyal person. If you don’t already know that about me, then you’re a lost cause. I’m going to start dating again. I’m going to start sleeping with other guys. I’m not going to stop looking for the man I want to sleep with every night for the rest of my life. If that’s not you, then that means he’s out there somewhere. I’m going to find him. Don’t you dare get in my way.”
14
Monroe
“That plan did not work.” I sat in the plastic chair and drank straight from the bottle.
Coen had his own bottle, and he sat across from me while the fire burned in the fireplace. “I think it did work.”
“He almost broke your nose.”
He had a tampon stuffed in one nostril. “It was worth it. It forced him to confront his real feelings. He wasn’t livid that I betrayed him. He was heartbroken that you might have already moved on. That had nothing to do with me.”
“I think it had a little to do with you.”
“But not much.” He drank from the bottle. “And that little speech you gave really sank deep inside him.”
“I meant every word.”
“As you should. A real woman doesn’t wait around for a guy. And if you ask me, Slate isn’t worth waiting around for. I know he can be the man you want…but he needs a push.”
“A big push.”
“I’m telling you, that plan either worked or it didn’t. There’s no in-between.”
It was safe to say it didn’t work. I told Slate I never wanted to see him again, and he didn’t argue with me. I told him I wanted to find someone else to spend my life with, and that didn’t get him to change his mind. He was so stubborn that he couldn’t even see his own feelings. “I hate him…”
“No, you don’t.”
“Then I hate myself. I hate myself for falling for someone who will never feel the same way.”
“He does feel the same way.”
“If he won’t admit it out loud, then it doesn’t count. If he never acts on those feelings, he’s just a coward.”
“You got that part right. He is a coward.”
“I can’t believe how much Simone screwed him up…” That woman was so foul, I didn’t understand how Slate trusted her in the first place. He was much younger than he was now, and she was the first person he’d ever slept with, but he seemed too smart to let an evil woman affect him.
“Yeah. I was with her for five years, married to her, used by her, and I don’t think I would have a problem trusting someone else. What are the odds that what happened with Simone would ever happen again? He’s such a strong guy, I’m surprised it bothers him so much.”
“I know he doesn’t want to look like a fool again…but acting this way is making him look like a huge fool.”
He raised his bottle. “I’ll drink to that.”
“But I guess I have to give up on him…”
He drank from the bottle and stared at the fire.
“I don’t want to, but I can’t keep waiting for him to get his shit together.”