It was pretty hard to hate a guy who shared his special escape, opened up about his grandfather, spilled about the pain and loneliness he’d felt over the years, who fished and cooked like a pro. She’d never tasted anything so delicious in her entire life. There was a first time for everything. Maybe there was a first time for not being able to detest Curtis James too.
Even though they’d been up early to catch the flight and it was supposed to be a business trip and so far they hadn’t discussed business at all, after Curtis washed the dishes and cleaned up- another shocking first that made Lexi’s legs feel watery- when he suggested they go back down to the lawn to watch the sunset, she couldn’t refuse.
He brought a patchwork quilt and she followed him outside. The evening was still warm, and the bugs were surprisingly not that thick. Curtis had a can of bug spray he threw down on the quilt just in case, after he spread it out.
Lexi was a city girl through and through. She could admit it. That afternoon in the boat was her first time on a lake. Ever. It was her first time fishing, even though she’d just watched Curtis. She didn’t camp out. Going to Mexico with her family and staying at a four-star resort was probably as close to roughing it as she’d ever come. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d been outside Seattle.
She sat down on the edge of the blanket, as far away from Curtis as she could get because she didn’t think she could handle being close to him, feeling his body heat or inhaling his dark, delicious scent. She drew her knees up to her chest. She felt a little stale and sweaty after baking under the hot sun all day, but it felt good, in that weird sort of being out in nature kind of way that she’d never honestly experienced before.
She liked that when she inhaled, she could smell the strange, earthy scent of the lake and the sweetness of the grass they’d just crushed with the blanket. She loved the call of birds and the hum of bugs or frogs or something in the distance. The sun dipped lower in the sky as they sat watching, and the pallet of reds, pinks, and purples that colored the sky was nothing short of magnificent.
She was scared. Scared of how much she’d enjoyed herself. Of how easy it was to be in Curtis’ company. She hadn’t even thought about how she hated him. Not once. All day. She knew she was letting her guard down. Maybe it was better just to get it over with. She could take the marketing job after her weekend spent with Curtis making terrible decisions, and never really have to even deal with him again.
The longing she felt wasn’t just physical. It was so much more than that. Curtis was unfairly built, gorgeous to a fault, but it wasn’t just that. Maybe she’d had to think about him as such an asshole so she really wouldn’t ever notice his non-asshole qualities. Maybe she had to wall herself off to protect herself. It was easier to hate someone than feel anything else.
Especially because they could never be good together.
He might have made it clear he was interested in her but really, one massive obstacle stood in their way even if the twisted, broken road in front of them suddenly smoothed out. Even if no other details were issues, not the money, not the power he held as her boss, there was still the big fact that he didn’t want children. And she wasn’t giving up on her dream of being a mother.
She’d never had sex just for the sake of enjoying it. Maybe that was where she went wrong. She’d always wanted it to be meaningful, so she’d never done casual encounters. She always saved it for when she was dating someone. Somehow, though, it was always lacking. It was the ultimate irony that she tried to wait for it to have meaning and then, it never did.
“If you sit there thinking any harder, the blanket is probably going to catch on fire below you from those churning wheels and all that steam pouring out of your ears. You’re like a short-circuiting hand beater that our company mass produced without doing our due diligence.” Not even Curtis’ joking barb could spoil her suddenly squishy, soft mood.
She knew she was going down and she was going down hard. Crashing and burning in the most epic way. “Yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“You’re missing the sunset.”
She blinked. “I’m not. I’m watching it. Just thinking at the same time. I’m an executive assistant. Multi-tasking is my middle name.”
“Your parents certainly were reading strange baby name books when they had you then.”