I just worried you’d hurt yourself like Sabrina, and it would be all my fault.
I couldn’t admit it, but I think she understood because her hands slowly moved up and down to soothe me.
“I’m okay. I think we both just needed to cool down.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and took another deep breath, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry. I lashed out, and it was wrong. You know I want to help you. Hell, I offered, and I’m a gigantic asshole for making you question that. I’m sorry.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and the Hanna from the past few months shined through a little more than moments ago.
“I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
She nodded. “You shouldn’t have. And I shouldn’t have pushed you either. I’m sorry, too.”
“I just worry. I like you. And as you pointed out, I’m aware of how shit can break free at the worst time.” If I wasn’t aware of that before, my near panic from seconds ago made it clear as day. “I don’t want that for you.”
She stepped out of my arms and crossed her own across her chest but looked more open like she had this morning. “I understand. I guess I can appreciate you looking out for me,” she said with a small smile. “Just not today.”
“I can agree to that.”
I ran my hands through my hair and became very aware of the fact that I was still naked. Especially when her eyes dropped down my body, and she flushed.
“So, what now?” she asked softly.
“How about you finish getting ready, and we check out the island activities?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“I’m sorry again,” I said before she could close the door. I could see the doubt still lingering from our argument. Maybe that was why I let another one of my truths free. “I’m sorry for thinking the worst when you stormed off. I guess my past snuck up on me when I least expected it. I just wanted to make sure you were fine.”
Her green eyes softened in understanding. “It’s okay. I promise you, Daniel. I’m fine.”
That’s what she said too.
22
Hanna
“You can do this, Hanna. Just go up. Drop the papers off. Act like nothing happened. Ignore the big brother knowing glare.”
I stood behind my office door, a stack of papers firmly in my grip, and pep talked myself into heading upstairs.
I got back on Saturday and skipped the family dinner last night because I wasn’t sure my week away with Daniel wouldn’t be written all over my face. I dreaded the thought of them knowing I slept with him. I dreaded them knowing that I’d begun falling for him.
I dreaded anyone knowing that.
Especially Daniel, the man who didn’t do relationships.
We’d promised friendship and no feelings, and here I was, trying to calm my racing heart just thinking of him.
I couldn’t even blame it on the sex. This feeling, these butterflies and warmth, and tingling awareness had been there for a while. A slow build that consumed me on this trip. The sex had only made it so apparent, not even I could deny it anymore.
And if I couldn’t deny it, how the hell was I supposed to hide it?
“Ugh.” I barely managed to stop from banging my head on the door. Taking a deep breath, I stood up straight, shoulders back, chin high. “I can do this. I can be a blank face. No one has to know anything. If worse comes to worst, just run away. Totally rational.”
Having talked myself up enough, I opened the door and proceeded to walk right into a wall, dropping my stack of papers.
“Oh, shit.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” we said at the same time.
Sean crouched down with me to help me stack the papers.
“It’s totally my fault. I was in a zone,” I excused.
“No, no. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”
We stood, and I finally met his blue eyes, so much darker than Daniel’s. He gave a soft smile, bringing out the dimple I used to get lost staring at. Now, I found myself looking past him, down the hall to where I needed to go.
“How was your trip?”
“Oh, good,” I said, bringing my attention back to him.
“We—I missed you around the office.”
His words were soft, only for me, and my cheeks flamed at the intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I was desperate to flirt with this man, to find the courage to go on a date with him, but now all I saw when I looked at him was not Daniel.
Trying to hide my reaction, I dropped my head, looking at the floor. “Yeah, it was a long trip. But my first vacation. So, yeah.”
My cheeks flamed hotter with each stuttering word. This time it wasn’t because of a rush of adrenaline thinking about flirting with him, but more about how unbelievably awkward I felt. I needed to get going before I made it worse.