“Sorry,” I apologized. “Not all math puns are bad. Just sum. Like s-u-m.”
This time, he laughed, and it was nice—deep, a little gruff, maybe sexy? Thankfully, I was saved from analyzing anymore when his friend from the party walked in.
“It’s freaking freezing down here. So much warmer upstairs with R and D.”
“You should try standing in a corner.” Adam turned to me like he hadn’t even noticed I was there, confusion marring his face. “Because it’s always ninety degrees,” I explained.
“What?” he asked, thoroughly confused.
This time I did cringe outwardly. He looked to Sean for help in explaining the crazy girl before him, and I turned, not wanting to see his reaction. I didn’t want to hear it either.
“Nothing,” I rushed out. “I got to go.”
I didn’t look back and did my best not to run to hide behind my office door. But I definitely did a thorough speed walk. I shut my door and fell into my seat, letting my head fall forward on my desk. I repeated the head bang a few more times for good measure.
“Idiot,” I muttered.
Seeing my phone from the corner of my eye, an idea came to mind. Not overthinking it, I quickly pulled up Daniel’s name.
Me: Can you teach me how to flirt?
The three dots popped up immediately, and I held my breath waiting for his response.
Daniel: What?
Me: Flirting. I want to learn.
Daniel: Why?
Me: Because I’m awkward and what’s the point of learning to accept sex if I scare guys away with math puns.
Daniel: Math puns?
Me: Shut up.
Daniel: I like your math puns.
Daniel: SUM of them are funny … ;)
Me: You can’t see, but I’m glaring.
Daniel: Meet me at Voy tonight.
Feeling marginally better, I set my phone aside and spun my chair around, smile firmly locked in place.
I was excited to learn how to flirt.
I was excited to see Daniel again.
But mostly excited about flirting.
I hadn’t seen him since last weekend when he’d…when he’d touched me.
Flashes of the night, the heat, the feel, the images, his penis bombarded me like they had every day this week.
Embarrassment about the sounds I’d made, of the things I requested lingered, but it wasn’t enough to wash out the happiness. My cheeks cramped from smiling so hard when I recalled my orgasm.
I’d orgasmed.
And then I’d orgasmed again on my own.
Did someone get to feel pride in that? Because I sure as hell did.
And I didn’t regret it. I felt pride in that too.
All because of Daniel.
When he’d first suggested the contact therapy, my immediate reaction had been to say no. But I trusted Daniel, and I heard him out, and in the end, what was the harm in trying. The more years that passed, the more desperate I became to not be broken anymore.
Licking my dry lips, I remembered his rough fingers between my thighs, not too obtrusive, but there. I remembered his lips sucking at my neck and the chills it’d sent down my spine, straight to my core. Probably most surprising of all was remembering the deep rumble of his voice against my back—remembering it being the final straw that broke the camel’s back.
Then to watch him come.
I rubbed my thighs together in my seat, trying to ease the building ache, remembering how much I’d wanted to touch myself as I watched him. A feeling completely foreign to me.
Until Daniel.
Now, I had to stop myself from reaching between my thighs every chance I got. Not that I’d been able to actually make myself come again after the first night.
Maybe because I refused to think about Daniel again when I got off. I’d not let my guilt get to me after the first time. Being with him at Voyeur was one thing, but to pleasure myself to thoughts of him jacking off felt wrong. Next time I went, I’d pay closer attention to the performers and add that to my spank bank. I laughed at the word, having heard Ian use it more than a hundred times over the years. I was giddy that I got to use it myself.
It’d been one of the best nights I could remember. I didn’t want to ruin that by thinking of him as anything more than a friend. At least, I needed to fight when those thoughts crept in.
By the time the end of the workday rolled around, I was ready for my lesson. I was just about to get on the elevator when Erik stepped out.
“Where are you off to in a hurry?”
“I’m heading home real quick to change before heading to Voy.”
Erik stopped and gave me his full attention, and I braced myself for the over-protective brother. “Alex and I can meet you there.”
Irritation prickled along the back of my neck. I did nothing to hold back my hard sigh and eye roll. “I’m a big girl, Erik. I can go to a bar without you. Besides, Daniel will be there.”