He was giving me my slow dance.
More tears burned my eyes, but they were because I was so unbelievably grateful that I had been blessed with such an amazing human being. It was hard to hold onto all the anger I’d been feeling earlier when Kevin held me close and swayed me back and forth. I rested my cheek on his chest and let his heartbeat fill my other ear. My fingertips trailed up his neck and played with the longer strands brushing his collar, as I let his kindness put back the pieces of me that had been broken in that stairwell.
“You look beautiful tonight.” The words vibrated against my ear from his chest. “Sean’s a dick for missing out on this—for not appreciating you. I don’t know what the hell he was thinking picking another girl over you.”
I pulled back with a furrowed brow. It took me a minute to process that Kevin didn’t know that Sean was gay. That he had cheated on me with a guy. A part of me wanted to divulge Sean’s secret; shout it from the rooftops and hurt him as much as he hurt me. I wanted to, but I wouldn’t. It was Sean’s secret to tell, and no matter how much I hated him at that moment, I wouldn’t stoop to his level, causing another person, even him, so much pain.
Kevin mistook my silence for doubt, and dipped his head to make sure I looked in his eyes. “You are perfect, and he doesn’t deserve you.”
He spoke with so much conviction I wanted to believe him. “You’re just saying that because you have to as my friend.”
“I’m your best friend. I’ll always be honest with you and tell you when you look like a mess.” Somehow, he managed to make me laugh. “But tonight? Tonight you were the most beautiful girl there.”
Staring up at him, I looked for the joke behind his eyes. But he only stared back with sincerity before leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on my lips. Just a peck.
Then he pulled back and let the next song play, holding me close as we danced.
Chapter Sixteen
Ana
The end of the school year passed in a blur despite the shifts in relationships. Kevin and Sean stopped talking except for soccer for about a month. Even after the season was over, it was only minimal conversation. I think Sean regretted his actions more because it had hurt his friendship with Kevin, rather than because he’d hurt me. My friendship with the girls took a hit when I found out that Chloe had known Sean was cheating on me. It took all I had to bite my tongue and not unleash a torrent of insults on her stupid, fucking, idiotic, twat-face. She was so damned self-centered and dumb that she didn’t even see anything wrong in what she’d done, or didn’t do, when she’d casually announced that she’d known but hadn’t felt it was her place to tell me.
Losing that closeness with my girlfriends was depressing, and I found myself missing Tennessee for the first time since I’d moved. I’d thought I was fitting in and was one of the girls, but when push came to shove, their loyalties lay elsewhere. It was a hard reality to accept. Then of course there was Jane, who was doing very little to hide her bitterness over the fact that Kevin had ditched her to chase after me.
We were all a mess.
It had made lunch super awkward since we all sat at the same table, still pretending nothing was wrong. We acted like the silence between us was normal. At least we were civil to one another. We’d even managed to have another end-of-the-year party. This time with no one crying in a bathroom. Even though I wouldn’t mind Sean crying. Maybe from a swift kick in the nuts. But I kept those ragey urges to myself.
But as the summer moved on, the pain eased and my anger lessened. As I got further away from the incident, I realized I wasn’t that invested in Sean. He’d made me happy and he made me laugh, but I’d had to overlook a lot of things I would’ve preferred in a relationship. With acceptance came relief. And I welcomed it with open arms.
Once summer began, I had plenty of time to focus on my friendship with Kevin. We spent almost every day in his backyard, soaking up the sun and each other’s company. Occasionally, I’d get together with Gwen, but not as often since I still had a hard time feeling comfortable around Chloe and Jane.
But for the most part, Kevin and I were glued at the hip.
Like we would be again tonight. My mom had left early for a meeting at a charity she was involved in, and I decided to head over to Kevin’s early as well. I snagged my bag with my bathing suit and a change of clothes and dashed across the lawn.