But still, I had to stretch my neck to ease some of the tension I felt from listening to Sean, especially after watching them flirt all afternoon. It seemed Sean had decided to go in for the kill tonight, and Ana wasn’t turning him down. Meanwhile, Jane was talking to me, and I barely heard a thing she said because I was keeping an eye out for Ana.
Because she was my friend, and I wanted to make sure she was safe.
“I mean, she grew those tits overnight and they look like a perfect handful.” Sean held up his open palms as though he was trying to imagine how they would fit around Ana’s chest. “I wonder what kind of nipples she has. You know I’m a tit man. Love everything about ‘em,” he rambled. I threw the popcorn bag harder than I needed to him at him. And aimed for his head rather than his hands. “Damn, dude.”
“That’s my friend you’re talking about. Show her some respect.”
“I’ll show her all kinds of respect,” he added, thrusting his hips to piss me off further. Next, I threw a water bottle.
He caught it, laughing. “Okay, okay. I’m just kidding. Calm your tits.”
I glared and turned to head up the stairs. Sean followed and sat down next to Ana, even throwing an arm over the back of the couch behind her head. The couch dipped next to me, pulling my attention away. Jane smiled and sat closer than necessary. I thought about scooting over but changed my mind. What the hell? I could use the distraction. Jane was a nice girl, but she wasn’t anyone I wanted to get involved with.
One: she was Gwen’s friend, and while Gwen and I had moved past any of our issues, I didn’t want to be that close to having her involved in any of my relationships. It felt a little incestuous. Two: Jane was nice. Sweet and soft. That combination scared me because my desires for rough, hard, and controlling still ruled me, and I didn’t want to be with anyone who would find any hint of that revolting. Jane seemed like the type of girl who needed to be treated with kid gloves and would balk at me even when I was under control.
Yeah, staying away from Jane was the wisest decision.
Honestly, I didn’t have any desire to have a girlfriend. I’d spent most of my summer hanging with my friends, and when I wasn’t with them, I was with Ana. While we didn’t have any sexual interaction, it didn’t make our relationship any less fulfilling. We laughed and talked and I always felt good about myself after I was with her.
Throughout the movie, my eyes kept drifting over to Ana, watching the progression of Sean’s arm from the couch to around her shoulders before tugging her close. I couldn’t ignore the tightness in my chest when I tried to imagine Ana having a boyfriend. Maybe she didn’t feel the same fulfillment from our friendship. Which was fine. I was sure that unlike me, she had normal desires, ones that didn’t come with a side of scary.
In the end, I knew I was being irrational and selfish to want all of Ana’s time to myself. She cherished our friendship as much as I did, but I still worried that her getting closer to Sean would mean less time for us.
***
When the movie ended, everyone got up to leave. A part of me expected Ana to stay, maybe watch another movie like we’d done other nights.
Instead, Sean wrapped his arm around her. “Let me walk you home.”
Her eyes widened, but then she smiled. “Sure.” Looking at me, she bobbed her eyebrows, sharing her excitement. Because she was my friend and that’s what friends did. Friends were happy for each other when the other was happy. “See you later, Kev,” she said over her shoulder before walking out with Sean. A part of me wanted to stand on my stoop and make sure she made it home okay, but I held back my irrational need to keep an eye on her.
Jane grabbed hold of my hand, which helped to distract me from thoughts of Ana. “Thanks for a great time, Kevin. Maybe we can do it again some time, but alone.” She shocked me by pressing a kiss to my cheek. “Bye.” With a small wave, she left with everyone else.
I shut the door and walked to the living room, plopping myself down on a chair across from my parents. My dad had his glasses perched on the edge of his nose and looked up from reading the paper. “Fun night?”
“Yeah. I’m tired though.”
“All that sun and swimming will do that to you,” my mom chimed in, setting her crossword puzzle down. “Jane seems like a nice girl.”