‘You don’t trust me.’
Her eyes snapped open. Donato’s face had softened. That stark coldness was gone as he lowered their clasped hands. He looked disappointed rather than angry.
‘There are some things you can’t fix so easily.’
She thought of the donation Donato had made to the community centre her clients used. She’d mentioned its difficulty in getting funds to improve wheelchair access. The following day a donation had arrived, enough to upgrade the facilities and more. She’d traced the payment to Donato.
Then there was Binh, the gardener here. Ella had chatted with him about the beautiful landscaping and the flowers. He’d told her how, when his wife lost her job in a florist shop, Donato had given her an interest-free loan to start her own business when the banks wouldn’t take the risk.
Donato quietly set about helping people, solving their problems.
He couldn’t fix this.
‘I’m sorry.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I shouldn’t have lashed out. I don’t know what’s got into me.’
‘You’re upset.’
Ella shook her head. Why should her sister’s call upset her? They were closer than they’d been in years. And yet she did feel...off balance. Because they’d dredged the depths of their dysfunctional family, stirring emotions she’d tried to put a lid on for years.
‘Come on, Ella. Walk with me.’ To her surprise Donato tucked her hand in his arm, drawing her close. She went with him. Her emotions might be a jumbled mess but she was honest enough to know it was what she wanted.
They’d reached the clifftop when he spoke. ‘I shouldn’t have reacted like that when you refused to tell me your problems. I apologise. That crack about you wanting my money was low.’
Ella’s head snapped round. An apology? She’d been the one to take a swing at him! ‘I shouldn’t have lost my cool. I’m sorry. My behaviour was appalling. I just... I hate feeling I’m not in control.’
‘That’s how you feel?’ No anger in his eyes now. This was the Donato she’d grown close to, so close it was tough remembering all that stood between them.
‘I like to understand what’s going on and make my own decisions. With you, with us, it’s like I’m on a runaway train. It’s racing ahead but I don’t know where or why. All I can do is hold on and hope for the best.’ The words spilled out. Ella hadn’t meant to reveal so much. Yet increasingly she wanted to smash down all the barriers and...
What? Share everything with him? As if he wasn’t just a temporary lover? As if they weren’t on opposite sides because of her father’s machinations?
As if she and Donato could be...important to each other?
‘I understand. I used to hate feeling powerless. I was determined to take control of my life and shape it how I wanted.’
‘I can’t imagine you powerless.’ Donato was purposeful, definite. That had appealed from the first.
His laugh was short and hard. ‘You have no idea.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘But you want to know.’ His gaze was needle-sharp.
Ella nodded.
‘It’s not enough that we share our bodies and all our private time? That you know my politics and my taste in films and sport and anything else you want to talk about?’
Ella turned to brace her hands on the rock wall topping the cliff, searching for the right words. She shared more with Donato than she ever had with any man. Yet still she wanted...needed more.
‘You know my father,’ she said eventually. ‘Where I grew up. Plus I tell you about my work.’ Donato’s interest had amazed her and his concern for her safety had been genuine. He rang every day after her last appointment to check she was okay. ‘All I really know about your past is what I read in the press the night we met and the little you told me about Jack.’
His lips thinned. ‘You want the story behind the headlines?’ His tone was harsh, almost jeering, like his words just before she’d lashed out at him. What was it about his past that made him protect it so aggressively?
‘Is it a crime to want to know you better?’
She looked up into that proud, scarred, implacable face, sensing turmoil. Was it really too much to ask? She couldn’t shake the feeling that the real man remained hidden, despite the intimacies they shared.
‘Everyone who’s wanted to know more has only been after cheap thrills, mixing with the tame ex-con.’ The words lashed her.