Closing my eyes, I pressed my forehead against the side of hers. Damn. I knew three things right then. I didn’t deserve that. I didn’t deserve her. And I didn’t have the heart to tell her this birthday would probably be our first and our last.
CHAPTER 3
Josie
The following day, throughout afternoon training—aka beat-down time—I couldn’t stop thinking about what Seth had said. It had been the same last night. I looked at him, I thought about what he said, and I just wanted to hug him.
Okay. I wanted to do other more fun things that involved more than hugging him, and we did some of those things—but not that thing. I was starting to become convinced that they’d end up remaking the Harry Potter movies before I got laid.
Anyway, I couldn’t believe it. No one had celebrated his birthday? Not a single person, even his mother? She was a crappy mom. I’d gotten that from what he’d told me before, but to not even celebrate a birthday?
I sort of wished the woman was alive so I could kill her. What a terrible person. Or pure-blood. Whatever she had been, she was a crappy, mean person. Even with the issues my own mother had, she’d celebrated my birthday.
Mom may not have wanted me, but she loved me, and in the end, that was all that mattered.
Training wasn’t horrible. Not like it had been in the beginning, when I couldn’t even take a hit correctly. Now, I knew how to fall to not only avoid injury, but to quickly get back on my feet. I knew how to block punches and kicks, and had learned to deliver quite a few nasty ones myself.
I was so close to becoming a badass, killer-ninja demigod.
“You’ve got to use your dagger like you’re prepared to kill the person you’re stabbing,” Seth said from the sidelines. “Not like you’re wanting to poke them with it.”
My eyes narrowed as I looked over at him. Okay. So maybe I wasn’t a killer ninja yet. I lifted the Covenant dagger, a very sharp and deadly blade made out of titanium and designed to slice and dice, and tightened my grip on the handle. “I’m not trying to poke the dummy.”
“You’re poking the dummy,” Luke confirmed.
I was ganged up on.
Seth stalked over to the very life-like dummy and jabbed his finger at a shallow cut in what was also very flesh-like skin. Ugh.
“This wound here,” he said, referencing the cut on the dummy’s chest. “Wouldn’t even kill a mortal.”
I frowned. “It so would.”
“It would slow them down, that’s for sure, but it wouldn’t kill them.” Luke flipped the dagger in his hand, catching it easily. Wasn’t he just special. “Wouldn’t even puncture a lung.”
I was going to have to take his word on that.
“You know how to use this dagger.” Seth lifted a hand, running it through his hair. “We’ve taught you everything you need. You’ve got the correct hold, the correct positioning. You know where to hit to take your opponent down. There’s no reason for you not to use force behind it.”
I started to argue, but as I stared at all the cuts on the dummy, I knew he had a point. The chest of the dummy was covered in slices and cuts, most of them, if not all of them, as deep as my finger. Those cuts were from Seth and Luke. All of mine were shallow, nicks in comparison.
I hated to admit it, but Seth was right. The idea of killing someone on purpose horrified me. I mean, thinking I could do it and wishing I could do it was totally different from actually doing it. But just because something horrified me didn’t mean that when push came to shove I couldn’t do it.
I would protect myself.
I would also protect those I loved.
At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
Seth glanced over at Luke. “Let’s go ahead and call it a day.”
“But we still have an hour,” I protested.
“I know,” he replied, cocking his head to the side. “You and I aren’t done yet.”
Seeming to get the message, Luke nodded and as he walked past me, he patted my shoulder. “See you guys later.”
As the door to the training room swung shut behind him, I had a feeling I was in for a lecture.
Seth arched a brow. “You look like you just sucked on something sour. I’m not going to lecture you.”
My eyes widened. “Are you sure you can’t read minds and you’re just lying to me?”
He laughed. “Everything you think or feel is just written on your face.” Reaching over, he took the dagger out of my hand. “I want you to watch me do this.”
I’d been watching him do this for weeks, but I folded my arms and I watched.
Seth held my gaze for a moment and then spun around. There wasn’t a moment of hesitation. Not like there was for me, because the damn dummy looked so real. He thrust forward on one powerful leg and shoved the dagger deep into the sternum. A kill shot in under two seconds. No pausing. No last-minute weakening of the blow.
He pulled the dagger out and faced me, his amber gaze serious. “That’s how you do it, and I know you are fully aware of how to deliver a killing blow.”
“I am.”
Stepping toward me, he lowered his chin. “But you’re not doing it. You haven’t done it once without being made to do it over and over again, and even then, you eventually do it out of frustration with Luke or me.”
My lips pursed. I wanted to argue, but once again, he was right. And I hated it when he was right, which was way too often for me.
“There’s something I need to know, okay?”
I lifted my chin, grinning slightly. “Yes, you’re a sexy beast.”