“You look pale, baby girl,” Nathaniel says. “Let’s go to the kitchen and I’ll have something made for you.”
I can only handle everything in small doses. The people I knew once upon a time are nothing more than strangers to me now, even with everything I’ve learned. It was nice while sitting with them in the hospital but, after I got through the worst of the withdrawals, I slept most of the time while I was there.
Today has mostly been spent in preparation for me to come back here, with Liam and Nathaniel fussing over me like a couple of old women.
I can feel myself shutting down.
Liam and Nathaniel disappeared a while ago, once they’d settled me at the kitchen table with a sandwich, leaving me to eat in peace. As soon as I finished, Nathaniel swooped back in, asking if I wanted to go lie down. He obviously hadn’t let me out of his sight. I was relieved to see him, though, because I didn’t want to sit here in a strange place and wait for someone to escort me around.
I’m glad Nathaniel is so observant, noticing every detail. I imagine, after being a dad for twenty-five years, you pick up on silent clues, like how he just seems to know how much I need space, quiet, and to be alone.
Silently, he leads me to my bedroom door, presses a kiss to my temple and walks away. I couldn’t deny him something like that. Seeing the sadness heavy in his eyes when he looks at me blows away the last kernels of doubt that Nathaniel might’ve had anything to do with Elio’s games.
I step into my bedroom and close the door, locking it behind me for good measure. Trying to calm the itching underneath my skin, I lean back against the cool wood. I’m uncomfortable here, even if I don’t want to be. Even if there’s so muchrightness.
The ensuite door opens, startling me, and a cloud of steam follows Liam out of the bathroom. I’m frozen in place, staring at the large towel wrapped around his trim waist. He brushes wet hair off his forehead before his body goes rigid when he sees me.
In the short time I’ve been around Liam since he and the others took me away from Elio, there’s been a magnetic charge between us. His eyes are always on me; I catch him watching me when I look his way. His eyes find mine the moment one of us steps into a room. Whether that’s new and a result of my being taken, or was it that way between us before, I wouldn’t know.
There’s also the fact that, aside from The Ricci Estate, we’ve only ever been together in a hospital room since we met. Or I met him. Again. I’m probably making more of this than is strictly necessary.
I shudder at the intensity in his blue gaze. As he takes his time looking me over, I take the opportunity to do the same to him. Water droplets slide down his tanned chest and I chase them with my eyes, watching as they disappear under the towel. Liam’s abs flex as he shifts on his feet, and my attention is captured by the defined V at his hips.
Fuck, he’s gorgeous.
Liam clears his throat, and my gaze snaps up to his. He watches me through his thick dark lashes, his chin tucked. There’s a smirk playing at the corner of his full lips and my breath shudders. I open my mouth to say something. Anything. Because this poor man lost the woman he loves and I wear her face. I must be causing him some serious pain right now with my ogling.
“Sorry,” I finally rasp out.
“It’s your room, I should be apologizing.” Liam shrugs and drops his head as reality sets in. “I missed you looking at me like that.”
I shouldn’t push or make things worse by engaging in a conversation that gives him a semblance of hope, but I can’t help myself.
“Look at you like what?”
Liam’s eyes meet mine again, and how they can burn so hot with a color more representative of cold, I’ll never understand. He rubs the back of his neck, deciding if it’s worth going down this road with me. And, because I’m watching him so closely, I see the moment he makes his decision and his walls go back up.
“As if you would devour me whole if you could.” He smiles to himself as his head drops again, but it’s a sad smile. “Then you’d deny the hell out of it when I’d call you out for it.”
I smile at that.
It’s strange to miss and want a man you don’t know. Liam takes a step forward, then stops, his body goes rigid again as his fists clench and unclench at his sides. I see the pain behind his eyes, the harsh lines in his face as conflict takes over. His mind and heart are warring within him. I feel the same way; the difference is I don’t know why.
Liam breaks eye contact, shifting his gaze to the floor.
“I’ll grab my clothes and find another room.”
He runs a large hand down his face, pausing to rub at the neatly trimmed beard.
“Do you need anything?”
I tilt my head to the side. “Don’t we live here together?”
He blinks a few times before a smirk tugs at the corner of his full lips. It’s another sad smile, like he’s lost in memories of us that I can’t share. I don’t know why I asked the question, knowing he won’t answer it. But he surprises me.
“No, we didn’t live together,” he says with a humorless chuckle. “I’ve stayed here or your apartment since you’ve been… gone. That’s why some of my stuff is here.”
He waves his hand vaguely around the room, indicating his things.