“Okay, that’s fair, but look at the big picture. Cade didn’t give you to your dad. He told his brother he loved you—”
“He said hethoughthe was in love with me—”
Eve cocks her head at me. “Really? Look, you might have started as a job but clearly, that didn’t last long.”
“Why are you trying to convince me he wants me when he literally let me return to L.A.?”
“Because you’re sitting here, telling us the truth about your past, with no makeup on.” Eve’s bluntness has me sniffing at her. “He got rid of a body for you. You don’t do shit like that when you’re just all loved up with a woman’s pussy.”
“Eve’s right, Cindy,” Dolly remarks.
This is why I love them. No matter what I do or what happens, in the end, they always have my back. Even if I don’t have my own.
“You love him.” Charlie’s words make my eyes dart to hers. “You’re different, and it has nothing to do with the fact that this might be the first time I’ve seen you without makeup.” She shoots me a soft grin. “You look… peaceful.”
“Peaceful?Charlie, I’m hardly at peace. My whole life is exploding. I’m not sleeping and I’m miserable…”
I look around the table and find them smiling at me—God, it’s borderline creepy.
“What is wrong with you?” I groan. A part of me wants to run and hide in the restroom then call an Uber.
“The thing about men,” Eve points out, “is that just because you love them and they love you, they’ll still drive you insane. This is that. It’s a blip. You need to fix this so that thisyoubecomes a permanent fixture.”
I huff and because they’re crazy, I mutter, “Guys, I need you to know I’m sorry for what happened before I left. I feel terrible that Julianna didn’t come today because she thinks I’m in love with her man because I’m not. Not at all.
“I never wanted to hurt any of you, you’re my family, but I did. I fucked up and for that, I’m sorry.”
“Cindy…” Dolly covers her mouth for a moment, then she’s riffling through her purse. “You… I can’t… We need to call your Cade.”
“Dolly, we’re not calling Cade.” I laugh, but it comes out as a sob because now that I’ve come clean and made my amends, it feels soemptywithout him here. I take a breath. “This is on him. It’s not on me. I’m worthy of him bridging the gap thatheput between us. I need someone to fight for a future with me, not someone so stuck in the past with his mistakes that he can’t see that tomorrow is better than yesterday.
“I-I thought I needed him to fix things, to make everything better, but I realize that’s on both of us.” Saying it out loud fills me with resolve. “One more thing since I’m telling you guys everything. My name is not Cindy. It’s Isabelle, but you can call me Belle.”
“Oh, my God.” Dolly digs her nails into Doug’s arm again, causing him to grunt out in pain. “Youarehaving an epiphany. I’m so happy for you,” she cries as Doug detaches her hand and reaches for his shot.
“Okay, everyone just relax.” Doug arches a brow then raises his tequila in a toast. “To Belle.” And suddenly, I’m holding a shot glass in my hand as my tribe grabs their drinks too. “We love you.”
The whole table yells, “To Belle! We love you!”
Then, Dolly hoots, “And to Cade pulling his head out of his ass so we can meet him!”
The others laugh and repeat, “And to Cade pulling his head out of his ass so we can meet him!”
I can barely shoot back the tequila because of the lump in my throat. When I close my eyes, a wave of pain, maybe even homesickness, flows over me. Not going to lie—I miss Kitty, Róisín, Neev, and Patricia, but that’s nothing to Cade.
He may break my heart by not scooping me up, and that’ll be on him, not me. Eve says I need to fight for him, however that goes both ways. I’m not the one who fucked everything up—he needs to fight for me too. And not just by cutting off people’s fingers, either.
I’m done running—he knows where I am. It’s time he showed up for me, and if that’s the end, it’ll hurt, but so be it.
31
TEXT CHAT
Kitty: BELLE!!!
Belle: What?!
Kitty: You left!