We fucked up big time.
There’s a strange feeling inside me. It’s like I’ve been stabbed. As if deep down, there’s a gaping wound in my soul that’s just been drenched in hydrogen peroxide.
I forgive myself.
I didn’t set out with that intention, just got pissed at my older brotheragain, but fuck, I do. I really goddamn do.
Lucas grits his teeth at me, and when I’m sure he’s about to spew more shit to make me feel bad for still breathing, he stiffens, and his gaze dances into the distance.
At long last, Aidan Jr. has shown up at the entrance to his building.
His focus drifts over to me and then to Lucas as I open the door to the back seat for him. Once he sits down, I duck into the passenger side and Lucas heads for Davis’s medical practice.
For the majority of the journey, Aidan is silent. I can hear him tapping on his cell as he conducts business, but the stillness of the car is eerie and I’m glad for it. It lets me process what’s happening.
It allows me to stare blindly ahead as I liberate myself from something I did when I was too young to understand how bad the consequences could be.
Vinny’s death made me hesitant. It made me quick to obey orders. It made me hate stepping out of line because when I did, major fuckups happened.
And that’s why I let myself take this shit with Belle so far.
Because what I wanted and what I knew was right went against Aidan’s demands.
I screwed up big time. I’ve potentially lost the appreciation of a good woman, the only one who’s interested me inever, and that’s on me, sure, but it’s also on how I’ve been responding to shit since Vinny’s passing.
It’s time to accept that I messed up, but so did Vinny. His death wasn’t my fault, and my family had no right to make me feel as if it were. Vinny got behind the wheel. I didn’t shove him in the car. He started the ignition, and I was with him for the ride.
Feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I push back into the seat and twist around to look behind me. “Boss?”
“Yeah, Cade.”
Releasing a breath, I go for broke. “Liars get punished in the Five Points.”
“They do. Not sure why you’re telling me something I already know, though.”
“You can punish me for countermanding orders and you can punish me for not bringing her to you immediately, but I didn’t lie to you.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “A lie of omission is still a lie.”
“If you knew Savannah was in danger and you’d been told by your boss that she wasn’t and you had to reconcile how to fix things, wouldn’t you—”
Aidan lifts a hand to stall me. “If I wanted you punished, I’d have your ass hauled to the cement factory and I’d deal with you there after handling Davis.” He pauses then settles a glance on me that has me tensing before, eventually, continuing, “Instead, you’re going to deal with Davis on my behalf because if you want her, you claim her, and you do what needs to be done to make sure she’s safe. Understood?”
“Understood.” I blink at him. “You’re not going to punish me?”
“You’ve done the bare minimum during your time as a Five Pointer, Cade. You always do what you’re told, so I can never reprimand you for that, but this ain’t the Points my da was running. I demand loyalty from my men. I demand the truth.”
I nod and remain silent.
“The moment you knew something was wrong with the narrative Davis sold me, you should have contacted me.” He studies me. “That you didn’t tells me we got shit to work on.”
I gape at him. “What?”
“Trust is a two-way street,” he retorts. “Da would have sliced your throat for disobeying, but I ain’t him. I want a crew who’s got my back and who knows I’ve got theirs in return. Otherwise, we might as well be fucking cavemen, cannibalizing our numbers from the inside out.”
Exhaling, I wonder if there may be hope for me yet. Who knows?
“In the future, you come to me,” he says. “You tell me. I can’t scope a situation without having my eyes on the bigger picture, and you know how much I value intel.”