“Firstly, you’re not an ‘old dog.’ Secondly, these aren’t new tricks. If you want a better life, if you want to stop feeling so bitter about the past, that’s something you can change. Ifyouare ready for that.”
I allowed the notion to linger as I finished up my breakfast. Maybe it’d help, maybe she’d ignore it, but I had to try.
Shewasangry.
Shewasbitter.
And did she but know it, her letting go of both would be a solid step on the path to earning my forgiveness for her involvement in Da’s murder.
Only when she let go of the past would she open up to working as a pair and not on her own, only then would she really be free to be with me, and that was something I’d never stop fighting for.
33
STAR
I hadno right to intrude upon his privacy.
No right whatsoever.
But I slipped into his room with a silence that came from practice, and I moved over to the bathroom where I could hear the shower running.
He’d left with the intention of washing up and catching some Zs, but the second he closed the door behind him, the empty room, a generously proportioned space, had started to close in on me.
Sleeping on the couch hadn’t been on tonight’s agenda, but I’d take it over being alone.
When I walked into the bathroom, I heard him humming one of my dad’s songs.
It figured that the man I was falling for would love the music I’d come to hate. Though, earlier, Ihadnoticed his use of the past tense in regard to his dedication to them.
It made me feel weird, like I was yucking his yum. It wasn’t his fault I knew truths that would break his fanboying heart. So I guessed I’d need to work on that too.
noxxiousthe band andnoxxiousthe artists were not one and the same. Dad had been a great father before Mom’s death; after, he’d just been trying to get through the days without her.
As an adult, I registered that. Especially one who had crazy feelings for a certain someone who was currently showering in another room. As a kid, I’d been hurting too and I’d missed him just as much as I had Mom.
That was something for me to think about another day, though. Now, I just wanted to reconnect with Conor so I stripped down to nothing and headed into the shower stall.
With his face being blasted by the pounding water as he soaped up, he didn’t register my presence until my front was pressing against his back. When he jolted, I smiled and slid my hands around his abs.
The strength of his muscles astonished me because he was lean and compact, a little like myself. Built to fight, not to weight train, which was the confusing part because Conor wasnota fighter.
His brothers, sure, but not him.
“Star?”
“It had better be me.”
He snickered. “Is it okay to turn around?”
“Think I’m afraid of your cock?” I countered.
“I don’t know. Are you?”
It was a valid question, but this was different. This was…I felt in control.
Not answering, I slowly reached for his dick,showinghim I wasn’t scared rather than telling him, waiting him out to see if he’d want me to stop.
He didn’t stop me and he was hard.