My stomach wouldn’t let anything stay inside it as years of fighting, of striving, of struggling were, suddenly, out of nowhere, on the brink of coming to fruition.
Then, a hand was at my back, one gathering my hair as I spewed up the little I’d eaten, which was when I registered a solid truth.
My body recognized Conor O’Donnelly.
If it hadn’t, I’d have slammed the fucker touching me in the throat with my fist and would have drenched him in puke as a finale.
Instead, I sagged onto my knees when my body let up and rolled flat onto my back so that my spine was touching the cold tiles of the bathroom floor.
He immediately let go of my hair but maneuvered me into a seated position. That was when a toothbrush and toothpaste were shoved at me. Because my mouth tasted like sewage, I quickly washed up then spat out the excess into the toilet bowl. Once that was done, I blindly handed the items back to him and then spaced out.
The noise from the toilet flushing filled the room, and I figured that he was just as fucked in the head as I was because, after he’d returned my toiletries to the vanity, he flopped down at my side so that both of us were now staring at the spotlit ceiling.
In the silence that flowed between us, my racing mind calmed. It wasn’t the first time it occurred to me, but it was the first time I let the sensation envelop me—that of belonging.
Of safety.
Of not being alone in this.
Of sharing the load.
Of being able to admit to a mistake and not having to be perfect…
“I can’t believe I forgot about that login information,” I whispered.
“I’m just glad you shared it with me,” he muttered.
I swallowed as his comment hit home. “God, yes.” I’d been so smart trusting him before. “We could have wasted a lot of time trying to crack through that app. I-I genuinely forgot about it.”
Conor grunted. “With everything you’ve had going on for the last decade, Star, it’s no wonder.”
It seemed so insane to me that something that had bewildered me for a while, an unanswered question that I kept prodding at like a sore tooth had escaped my attention when faced with a need for random login info that was Sparrows-related.
Sure, it might not have worked, but to just forget about it?
What else was I forgetting?
That license plate in Kat’s drawings was one thing I definitely couldn’t remember…
“What else am I forgetting if I forgot that?”
He snorted. “You’re not a computer, Star. You don’t have a hundred terabytes of storage in your brain for random bits of information.”
“I know but—”
“No, no ‘buts.’ Stop being hard on yourself. Instead, applaud yourself, for God’s sake. You didn’t—” He blew out a breath like the ramifications of what had happened were starting to sink in. “You bought that on a whim, Star. A fucking whim. And those login details weren’t just anyone’s, they belonged to Justin DeLaCroix, the head of the Sparrows himself! The chief justice himself. Can you even imagine what’s stored on that app? Can you—”
Abruptly, he fell silent, seeming to choke on his words.I got it.I rocked my head to the side to look at him and almost smiled. His eyes were wide, his mouth wider, and it was opening and closing like words were forming but he couldn’t get them out. It was definitely goldfish-esque but a lot more elegant than puking up yesterday's and today’s meager meals.
He clearly couldnotimagine what was stored on that app.
Neither could I.
I slipped my hand into his. “Conor?”
“Y-Yeah?” he croaked out.
“We’ve done it, haven’t we?”