I know that Atlas feels like he could have done more to protect them both. I try to be there for him as best as I can, but I know this is a grief that he will carry around with him forever.
Marko won.
The Knights are in mourning, and now the FC is rallying around Marko again.
I hold Atlas as he sleeps, which I’m thankful he lets me do, and wonder how we are going to get through this. It’s a very dark time for everyone who loved Aries, and for those who care for Atlas.
In the morning Atlas heads to his mom’s house to meet with his family, family I know he hasn’t seen in some time.
“You sure you don’t want me to come with you?” I ask, brow furrowing.
“No, I’ll be fine,” he says, barely looking at me. He kisses me on the forehead, but it feels a bit empty and my heart breaks for Atlas all over again.
His eyes are red, and I’ve never seen him so destroyed.
“Okay, call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” he promises.
I’m still in shock that this has happened, but I shouldn’t be.
This isn’t a game.
One Month Later
We buried CJ and Aries together the same week they died, and Atlas was a mess throughout the whole funeral. And then he took off. Got on his bike and left. No goodbye. No call you later. Nothing.
“Have you heard from Atlas today?” Cara asks. She asks me every day, expecting the answer to be different.
“No.” I shake my head. I stopped crying after day five of him being gone.
“Can I ask you something?” she says as she parks, as we’re on our way to lunch.
“Sure.”
“Are you mad at him?”
I pause, not knowing how to answer this. “No. I’m not arrogant enough to think that his being gone has anything to do with me. Would it have been nice if he told me he was leaving? Yes. Would it be nice if he texted or called while he was gone? Yes. But he needs to grieve and he needs to grieve in his own way, and who am I to judge him for that? Sure, my feelings may have been hurt, but it’s not about me.”
Cara stands there staring as she holds the door to the restaurant for me. “I think that is the most mature thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I shrug. I went through a selfish phase right after Atlas left, but then I wondered how I’d feel if Cara died in my arms. I shudder at the thought of it. I don’t think I would be able to function, and Cara isn’t even my twin.
“How long will you wait for him?”
“As long as it takes or until he says he won’t be coming back,” I say with confidence.
“When did you become such a fabulous woman, Natty?”
“When I asked people to call me Natalie,” I tease, and give her a wink.
After we order, I decide to broach a subject that I’ve been thinking about since Atlas left. “So I’ve been thinking about Marko...”
At the sound of his name, Cara’s hand curls into a fist. You and me both, sister.
“I think I should offer myself up as bait to lure him out.” I expect Cara to tell me I’m being reckless, but she surprisingly is on board and wants to do it with me.
“I’ll do whatever I need to help end this,” she says.