“Bullshit. It took my revenge plot out of mine.”
“You—you went to the initiation, though. You had to do those things to get in, and—”
“Yes. I had to have sex with the woman I love. Under less-than-ideal circumstances, absolutely. But that night made it clear how much you wanted me. Even on the bad days. I was planning to kill your father, too. I was planning to trap myself in a building with all of them and burn it down. I could say the universe saved me from having to do that, but I think it was something else.”
“What?”
“You.” I can’t help it—I kiss her. It’s salty. “You said you’d go down with me, and that was—no. I would never let that happen. I love you too much. I love the sweet, innocent baker parts of you and the parts of you that are willing to commit crimes if it’ll keep me safe.”
I expect her to argue.
“You do?”
“Yes. All of you. I’m only sorry that I couldn’t take your place on that plane.”
“I didn’t want you to have to kill him, either. I just didn’t realize how hard…” She swallows. “I didn’t know how hard it would be to get through this. It’s a heavier burden than I thought it would be.”
I pull her up and into my arms, and Elise melts into me. I run a hand over her hair. Her neck. Her back. “I’ll carry it with you.”
“Gabriel—”
“I’ll sit with you at night when you have the nightmares. I’ll spend every possible hour loving you and fucking you so you don’t have time to remember it. All you have to do is stay. Please.” I inhale the sweet, sugar scent of her skin. “Nowhere is home without you.”
“I thought you might want me to leave. I thought you might want it all to be over.” Elise laughs through fresh tears. “But I love it here. And I love you. And I don’t want to leave.”
“I love you.” It’s still new, saying it without a bunch of padlocks holding back the feeling. “You’re a gorgeous, adorable genius. Though…I’m a little worried about your planning abilities.”
“Seriously? I planned two murders.”
“You also planned to go back to your apartment in Brooklyn. When were you going to remember that you don’t have room for your sister?”
“Oh. Yeah.” Elise nuzzles her nose along the curve of my neck. “Would you have kicked her out?”
“No, but it would have been pretty awkward when I had to explain that you’re too murderous to live here, but it’s perfectly okay for you to sell baked goods unsupervised.”
“You’re…so right.”Shefeels right. “I think Lydia might have a crush on Nate. So that’s going to be a fun thing.”
I pull back to look at her. “You’re staying to watch it play out, right?”
“Yes.” The light is back in her eyes. “Yes, I’ll stay. I’d love to stay. Do you have any ideas for how we could spend our free time together?”
I’m going to kiss her for as long as she’ll let me. “Sweetness, I have more ideas than you could imagine.”
18
ELISE
It’s latewhen Gabriel takes me into the shower. Late enough that Nate and Lydia have been sleeping for an hour at least.
“You want to take a shower in the middle of the night instead of in the morning?”
Gabriel’s adjusting the temperature of the water, and really, it’s just something to say so that I’m making conversation instead of just staring at his beautiful naked body.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him without anything on since the fire. Bruises up and down his chest are still in the process of healing. The colors would normally strike me as kind of ugly, but on Gabriel, they look…captivating. He survived something, with marks like those.
“I want to wash your hair.”
I step under the hot water with him, and Gabriel wastes no time in stepping close. Getting his hands all through my hair. The slide of warm water on hard muscles wakes up all the pieces of me that shut down after I—after my dad died. I can feel the nerve endings light one by one.