“Mom.”She looks up at me with a faint smile.“It’s okay.”
“Maybe it’s better if I don’t come in.I made mistakes before.Finding your office.Trying to see you.”
“It wasn’t a mistake.”
“I can explain.If I had a chance to explain—”
“We’ll have time for all that later.Right now, it’s almost time for dinner.”
I was going to put her hand on my elbow, but instead, I put my arm around her and guide her onto the porch.I think of Leo opening the door to his house for Emerson’s birthday party and how effortless he made all his routine explanations.If Leo Morelli can pull that off, so can I.
We pause on the doormat.Emerson’s front door senses my phone, and there’s aclickas it unlocks.
“So, Em’s house is a giant square with a big hall in the middle.We’re going to eat in the dining room, which is on the left when you first come in.I’m sure he’ll show you his galleries and stuff later.Bedrooms are upstairs.”
Mom bites her lip.The grocery bag rustles.
“Em’s not a fan of a big scene at the door, so everybody’s in the kitchen right now.That’s at the back of the house, also on the left.Daphne’s here, obviously.You’ll like her.Bristol—you’ve already met her a few times.Mia and Ben are her twin siblings.They’re ten.Mia has bright red hair that you can’t miss and Ben’s got dark hair, like Bristol.And of course, Sinclair and Emerson.”
She nods, steeling herself.“Okay.”
“Oh—I brought something for you.Thought you might want to hold on to it for the evening.”I stick my hand in my pocket and take out her watch.“I polished it up and put a new battery inside.Sorry I kept it for so long.”
She takes it from my palm with a shaky smile.“This was my favorite watch.I never had the heart to replace it.”
“Now you don’t have to.”
I give her a moment to fasten it on her wrist, and then we go in.It’s comfortably warm in Emerson’s foyer, both temperature-wise and light-wise.Not too bright.The coat closet opens for me without a sound.I take my mom’s coat and hang it up, then kick off my shoes.
“Your shoes can go in here, next to mine.”
Mom slides her shoes off, nudging them into the row.“Is this table over here okay for my purse?”
“Yep.”
Down the hall, laughter spills out of the kitchen, Sin’s the loudest, Daphne’s high and giggly.Mom’s shoulders go back up.
I take her purse out of her hand and leave it on the table next to the flower arrangement, then put my arm around her again and walk with her down the hall.
“If you need a break, you can come look at art.”I tilt my head at one of the pieces in the hall.“He’s got about a million paintings in here.Daphne paints, too, so there’s a ton of her work.She loves to paint the ocean.If you ask her about it, she’ll tell you what she’s working on.It’s funny.You’d think they’d all be the same, but they’re different every time.Okay.Here we are.”
We turn left and go into the kitchen.Mom’s entire body tenses up, and she comes to an abrupt halt two steps inside.
Sinclair’s over by the oven.He sees us first and smiles, but it fades, and he sticks his hands in his pockets, suddenly shy.Mia and Ben are at the kitchen island, perched on stools, with Bristol behind them.Emerson’s leaning against the side of the island, Daphne tucked into his side.His head is turned, and he’s already smiling, because Mia is in the middle of a spirited speech.
“—about a kid namedWill.And now we know areal Will.That means—” Her eyes flick over to me, and she does a double-take.“Um.Emerson.Somebody else is here.”She drops her voice to a whisper.“I think it might be your Mom.”
Em turns his head, and I hold my breath, hold my mom a little tighter.I don’t know what I’m waiting for until I do.
Emerson’s been talking to Mia, and so he hasn’t been wearing his gallery expression—the calm, neutral-verging-on-blank mask he puts on whenever he goes out.I don’t remember when he started using it at home all the time, too.By the time we left home it was almost constant, except when things were so bad that he couldn’t control it anymore.
And then he met Daphne, and she put thousands of hairline cracks in it.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy.
No.I don’t think I’ve ever seen him sosafe.
I’m waiting for it to come back now.For the happiness in his eyes to get tucked away, held at a distance behind some invisible wall.
It breaks wide open inside.An enormous, uninhibited grin flashes onto his face, so intense that his dimples reappear.I haven’t seen those for a long, long time.The smile is a flash in the pan but his eyes light up, wide and thrilled.Daphne’s watching this, same as me, and a tear runs down her cheek at the sight.