I should have…
I should have donesomethingdifferently, if we ended up here.
Two more men come into the pawnshop and call for Evan, who shouts at them from the back room.I step into one of the aisles to get out of their way and take out my phone.
I’ve sent two texts.I’ve called him twice.I know my dad’s phone is on, because it rings three times before it goes to voicemail.
One ring.Two rings.Three.
“The customer at three one nine…”
“Is a coward.”I end the call.“Is an asshole.”
Bristol:Answer your phone.I need to know where the twins are.I know what you did.
I want to punch my dad.Scare him, at least.I’ve been trying to get through to him all this time, and it never works.That doesn’t make it less frustrating.I pace down to the end of the aisle and go around to the next.My fantasy about pulling the bins off the shelves and making a giant, unfixable mess only lasts for half the aisle.
What good would it do?Someone would have to clean everything up, and it probably wouldn’t be the guy behind the counter.It would be someone who was just trying to get through the day.
The last bin on the top shelf sticks out from the rest.Another couple of inches and it’ll fall.I reach up to push it back in, make it neat.“Why are you like this?”
Nobody answers.They’re doing something with the security footage in the back room.
I let go of the bin and something scrapes along the bottom.It’s a soft, light sound.Metal on plastic.
I’m expecting to see a stranger’s jewelry when I glance in.
It’s not a stranger’s jewelry.
“You’re kidding.”
The bin isn’t kidding.
I reach in and pick up my mother’s necklace.It’s a locket in the shape of a heart.Gold and practically weightless.
“Hey.”Will runs his palm over my arm and stands close enough to feel the heat from his body.He smells good.Will Leblanc is the only good thing in this pawnshop, aside from the necklace.“What did you find?”
Memories.I found really old memories.“This was my mom’s.”
“That motherfucker sold it?”For a second, he looks shocked, like he can’t believe my dad would sell something that belonged to my mother.Then he just looks pissed.“Tothisguy?”
“I know.And after Sean worked so hard to buy it for her.He had a paper route.Do people even have those anymore?”
“I don’t know.”
“He gave it to her for Christmas.He was so proud, because…” I work my thumb into the edge of the locket and pop it open.“He had it engraved.”
One one side of the heart are her initials.
On the other side of the heart are ours.Mine and Sean’s.The twins weren’t born yet.She wasn’t gone yet.Oh, Sean, I love it so much.I’m going to wear it every single day.I’ll never take it off.Come here, come here.Mom’s arms, wrapped around a skinny, beaming Sean in the light of a Christmas tree that had already lost half its needles.Sean, beside himself, hugging her for a long, long time, then pushing himself to his feet.Let me put it on for you, okay?
Where was my dad?He’s not in the memory at all.He might not have been there.
But she was.My mom was there, and she was happy.
I hold the memory and the locket in the palm of my hand and take a picture, which I send to my dad.
Will pulls me closer to him, his arm wrapped tight around my shoulders.“Is this…” I feel his hesitation in every inch of him.I also feel when he decides what he’s going to say.“Is this necklace all you have from her?Besides your postcard.”