I let out a huff and snatch the package off her plate. “Go grab two more of those plates. We’ll eat outside, together.”
“I’ll get the milk,” says Ashley, sweeping past me and over to the fridge. She grabs the gallon jug and fills up three glasses, while Brooke gets the extra plates. Soon we’re all tromping our way out through the back door.
There’s a sloping patch of grass that leads down to the water. Brooke loves playing in it, and even as we sit down to eat, I can see her eyeing it. I thought that might be the case—if she was able to get something to eat and then go out and play, she might be more willing to leave us alone.
And I don’t normally mind that she’s around, right? But Ashley literally just moved in here, and I want to make sure that she is comfortable. And that everything goes smoothly.
So we eat our cookies, and then Brooke runs off to play in the shallows. As she goes, I call out after her, “Take your shoes off before you get in the water! And roll up your pants!”
“Yes, sir,” Brooke shouts. She throws herself on the ground and rips her shoes off. Then she rolls up her pants, doing the best job a little girl her age can possibly do, and throws herself out into the lake.
“It’s sweet,” says Ashley. “The way you stepped up for her.”
“I mean, someone had to. Sasha couldn’t do it all on her own,” I say. “It was hard when the accident happened. None of us were expecting to lose Thomas, you know? In the blink of an eye my brother was gone and Brooke… I think sometimes… At least we understand this—the whole concept of someone getting in a car accident and dying. But a kid her age?”
Ashley looks over at the shore again, the corners of her mouth tugging down at the edges, ever so slightly. “I know. I think that has to be one of the hardest things in the whole world.”
“That’s why my dad is so hung up on me getting a family started,” I say. “I think that he realized how easy it was to lose one of his kids, and now he’s all hung up on this—” I gesture at myself, and then at Ashley. “It makes sense in his head somehow. He was so heartbroken—he still is so heartbroken. Anyway, that’s when he started really pushing for me to get married.”
Guilt starts to creep in my chest again. This is deceitful, but at least it will make him happy and keep him off my back. It's the best thing I can do right now, given the circumstances.
And I have to admit that the possibility of this removing the stupid obstacle between me and the CEO position, is also a very strong reason. My brother is very capable in his current role at the company, but he does not have the skills, experience, or dedication needed to take over the CEO position and move the company to the next level. Perhaps if he did, I wouldn’t be so angry about my father using the promotion as a means to control my personal life.
Maybe Ashley is right. If those pressures are taken out of the equation, I can focus more on my love life and maybe— Maybe try to see someone more seriously.
“I get it,” says Ashley. “I do.”
We sit there and watch Brooke for a little while, the both of us. And it feels right in a manner that I almost can’t understand; the way that she sits with her legs folded up and to the side, how she always answers and waves when Brooke calls out to her.
It's kind of amazing. And then, in a sharp flash, I realize how this must be seen by other people—we really look like a couple, sitting here together, a happy family, Brooke down at the shore, and cookies between us.
And I can picture it, stupidly enough. I can picture being happy with her for real.
In this moment, I don’t know if this fake relationship is a good thing or not. But I do know that by the time we’re done with this upcoming trip, I will.
Chapter six
Ashley
It’sawhirlwindfewweeks, and soon we’re on the plane, heading out of the country. It’s definitely not the first time I’ve flown, but I’m just as giddy as if it were. Grant lets me sit by the window and I lean against the glass in our first-class seats. The flight attendant runs through the usual spiel before takeoff—don’t get up if the seat belt symbol is displayed, don’t turn on your electronics until the plane is fully in the air, and don’t forget that there is protective gear under the seat.
Then she vanishes and the fluctuation of the takeoff is rocking us back against the seats. My mouth curls up into a smile as I look out the window and watch the ground fade away. “You know, Heather’s terrified of this. Flying, I mean. She always has to take an aisle seat, and she usually has to take something whenever we get on the plane to help knock her out.”
“That’s funny,” says Grant. “I wouldn’t have expected that from her. She always seems so… Put together.”
The last two words seem almost like a hesitation, like he’s not totally sure that it’s the right thing to say. It’s cute that he doesn’t want to upset me, but he doesn’t need to worry about it. We’re supposed to be on the verge of getting engaged, and even though it’s a sham, I think that we still need to be open with each other for it to come across as real.
“She acts that way. Heather has always been focused on her image and this whole thing with dad has only amplified her insecurities and expectations of herself.”
The look my sister gave me when I moved out flashes before me. At first, she was beaming but when I was at the gate, I saw her face break. She's been living out this whole romance thing through me and loving it. But my leaving meant that she’d be on her own in that house with our parents. No matter how dedicated she is to the image our dad has built, I know it’s getting to be too much.
“Ashley?” There’s worry in his voice.
“Sorry, I zoned out. It’s just— I know that Heather’s feeling more pressure right now than I am. Dad can be a lot to deal with even at the best of times, and this election that he’s trying to win—it’s making him crazy, and it’s getting to the rest of us, too.”
“I understand that,” says Grant, and I know that he does, considering his family situation—there aren’t too many people that would get this on a real, physical level.
But Grant does.