Drey held his breath for what seemed like minutes, though I knew it wasn’t, then offered me the bag of candy. “You willneverbe hurt like that again.”
Promise and commitment punctuated those eight words, and I felt it in my soul. He wouldn’t ever let anything happen to me, would he? “So…you know what I mean by hurt?”
He kissed my forehead. “You haven’t told me outright, but…I’m pretty sure I get the picture. And like I said, you will never be hurt like that again. Not while I’m in the picture.”
I held out my hand for some candy. “Is that…why you aren’t asking me for sex?”
He dumped a handful of candy into my palm. “Not even.”
“Then why?”
The screen exploded into the theater announcement on texting during movies, talking and all the usual stuff, but I kept my focus on him. The reflection of lights dancing around the room bounced off his eyes.
Maybe he did think me dirty and used, but didn’t want to tell me. No…it wasn’t that. But there was some reason. Faith? He wasn’t a no-sex-before-marriage guy, was he? Maybe he was, and he was embarrassed to tell me.
“You can tell me, you know.” I rested my head on his shoulder. “I won’t freak.”
“It’s so weird. I’ve never gotten to the point with a woman where I was worried how she’d take it that I wouldn’t have sex with her.”
“So, it’s not just me?”
“No.” He hugged me tighter. “I said it’s got nothing to do with your past. Thank you for telling me some, by the way. I do want to know more, but thank you.”
“If it’s not me, then what?”
He let out a long breath. I sat up straighter and felt his lips along my ear. “I made a choice five years ago to not have sex again.”
“So, you’ve had sex before. Wait, five years ago? You haven’t had sex in five years?”
“Please, announce it to the entire theater.” He bit my earlobe.
But he was so…good. I’d not had sex with him, barely even made out with him, but the few times we had been close, he’d been amazing. Knew exactly where to kiss, to touch, to…bite.
“It’s a long story, and I’ll tell you more later—like you’ll tell me more about you—but for now…” He cleared his throat. “I had a baby…I mean the girl I was seeing had our baby. She…the baby—her name was Amberly.”
His jaw tightened, and he was facing forward again. He’d said he’dhada baby, though.Oh my gosh.
“Amberly lived for three minutes and twenty-four seconds.” He swallowed hard.
“Drey.” I rested my hand on his chest, and his heart was booming beneath my palm. “Shit.”
“Right then I decided…I wouldn’t go through that again. When I had kids again, and I want them, Sarah, it would be under totally different circumstances. Not as a result of failed birth control, when I wasn’t able to care for them, and…” He looked at me. “Wasn’t committed to the mother.”
“Committed.” My turn to gulp. The way he said committed. Did he mean…
“Marriage, Sarah. The girl I’d been with, hell, the girls I’d been with before her, I never loved them. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. And Amberly paid the price.”
“Drey.”
“No. It’s okay, I’ve come to terms with it, and I’m doing things differently now…I’mdifferent now.”
“Is that when you left the gang?”
“Around the same time, yeah.”
“Marriage, huh?”
The screen blasted into a preview with the absolutely loudest car explosion I’d ever heard. My seat rattled, it was so forceful. But that was okay.Marriage. That was the mother lode Drey had dropped on me.