“Angelina. The shit I dream about would give you nightmares if I told you. So back off. I’m not telling you.”
“Then you need to tell someone.”
“And endanger them? No way!”
“It won’t. It’ll help you. You need help. I’ll go with you. Or, if you wanna call Jenna, she’s online. She can help.”
“The one who helped you and Lizzie?”
“She’s awesome. Seriously. She usually deals with us agoraphobics, but, well, I think she’ll help you. I think shecanhelp you. If you want it. If you want Drey.”
“I want Drey. There’s no doubt about it, Angelina, but I can’t have him. I can’t have anyone. I’m on the next bus out of here. Once the station opens, I’m gone.”
“Don’t do it, Sarah. You have a life here.”
“A life? A life?” I laughed as I held up my arms. “This place? One room, not even rented under my name. Hell, Sarah Ryder isn’t even my real name. Living off the grid. Cash for everything. Looking over my shoulder. Drunk almost every night so I won’t dream. That’s no life.”
“It can be.” Angelina stepped forward.
She was a tiny girl, but her eyes were fierce. I shouldn’t underestimate her in the least considering she kicked agoraphobia’s ass and could probably kick mine for how much she’s been training with Hunter in self-defense class. I should know, I trained with her two times a week.
“I—I—”
“What, Sarah? What?” Angelina’s voice raised.
“I don’t deserve him.”
She laughed. Literally laughed at me. I glowered at her and crossed my arms.
“Hey, after years of telling myself that same crap, I can laugh at you. It’s not true. It’s a lie. Like that damn Nicco kept you prisoner for more than six years, that kind of thinking will imprison the rest of your life. If you let it.”
“You said damn,” I whispered.
She laughed. “Yeah, well, I’m a little passionate about this stuff. Drey’s an awesome guy. You’re an awesome girl. Hunter’s mom said something to me, and it stuck with me ever since. She said that Hunter and I—alone—were both a little broken, but together, we’re not. I mean, that wasn’t exactly the quote, but I caught her gist. It’s the same with you and Drey, girl. Holy cow. He’s been waiting for you for over a year. Guys…they don’t have patience like that.”
“Yours does.”
“Well,ourguys excluded. But you know that. Most guys don’t. It takes a special one to deal with all our crap. And Drey’s got his own crap, like Hunter did. If you let it, it can rip you apart.”
“You should be a shrink.”
She laughed. “No way. I just help my friends.”
“Friends.”
“Yeah. We’re friends. You’re actuallyworthyof having friends, Sarah. So deal with it.” Angelina stormed at me and yanked me into a hug. “You’re worthy of friends…and love.”
“I wouldn’t know love if it hit me square in the jaw.” I hugged her back, so thankful for her right now. She was kicking my ass, mentally, but she was right. So fucking right. Only I didn’t know how to move forward.
“I think you know love better than anyone. It’s exactly opposite of what you’ve seen your entire life,” Angelina said. “So yeah, I think that’s why you’re drawn to Drey. You know he’s real. When he helped after Hunter was stabbed, that guy didn’t leave Hunter’s side. Was always asking if he could help. Did so much more than I could have ever asked for. So yeah, Drey’s the real deal.”
“I know.” And I did. I felt it all the way to my toes. “It still doesn’t mean it’s going to work out. But…”
“But…”
“Maybe I’ll connect with that Jenna chick of yours.”IfI was even going to stay here.
Chapter Twenty-Seven