She didn’t answer, just had a horrified look on her face.
I snatched a kitchen towel from the handle of the fridge and ripped some paper towels from the dispenser propped beneath the cabinet. Keeping her in my sight, I folded several paper towels into some mock gauze and pressed them against the wound. I gulped down the hiss at the contact, and went to work tying the towel around my thigh for some pressure.
This was not how I had planned to wake up this morning. I’d been thinking more along the line of making her some bacon and eggs—oh shit—this was why she didn’t want me to stay.
I was such an ass. Why did I push it? Why did I stay? I should have left the second she’d told me to. I should have—shit!
She pulled the blanket over her, clutching it beneath her chin.
“Sarah. I—”
“Please leave.”
“No. Sarah. It’s okay. We—”
“Go. Drey. Just go.”
“I won’t leave you like this. It’s okay, Sarah. I’m fine.”
“Get. Out!” Her voice filled the small room, and I was sure someone was going to call the cops, soon. Considering how she’d woken up in such a fit, the neighbors had to have heard. Then again, I’d not seen any lights on in the other units before. Maybe they were vacant. “You have to leave. Please, Drey. Go.”
I stood there, staring at her for I don’t know how long, totally confused. I didn’t want to leave her. But…I had to. She needed me to.
Everything about leaving felt wrong, though. She needed to know this didn’t scare me off. This didn’t change anything about how I felt about her. If anything it made me respect her even more.
Hell, love her even more. God. I did love her.
No way could I tell her that now. She wouldn’t hear it let alone believe it.
“Okay Sarah,” I whispered as I crept out from the kitchenette area. “Are you…going to be okay? What can I do for you?”
She shook her head. I wasn’t sure if she was shaking her head to say she wasn’t okay. Well,idiot, that was obvious, but I didn’t know…what to do. I hated this feeling.
I slowly moved to the couch. My coat was draped over the back, and I grabbed it, working pretty damn hard not to flinch at the jolt of pain shooting up my leg with each step.
Threading my arms through the jacket, I headed for the door, fighting the urge to turn back and tell her I was staying. Hell, I’d sit in a chair across the room farthest from her if that’d help. But despite my desire to stay, I had to respect her wishes.
“Sarah,” I said as I pulled the door open. “This…doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re my girl. This…doesn’t change anything.”
“You’re wrong, Drey. This changeseverything.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sarah
Standingbeneaththelava-hotwater, I let it scald my skin. It was the only way to purify myself after these terrible nightmares. I was so stupid to fall asleep like that. I knew this would happen.
“I fucking stabbed him!” I couldn’t believe it. My gut twisted, but there wasn’t anything left to throw up. I’d already spent twenty minutes worshipping the porcelain god.I stabbed him.
He’d tried so hard not to limp, or let on how much it hurt, but the blood on my sheets showed me how much it’d bled. I scrubbed my face with my soapy hands. Images of Nicco touching me. Forcing me… I pounded the tiled wall. “No!” I needed to get this out of my head.
I’d been doing so well lately. With Drey. He made me strong. He…must hate me. How could he not? I hurt him. Physically now, but I’d hurt him even more later. I didn’t know how to…be. And with him, in a relationship, I was even more out of control. More confused.
I should leave. I’d been in this town for too long, anyway. That was one thing I’d learned, too, as a slave. You moved around. Couldn’t stay in one place too long, people looking to cause trouble would sniff you out. People, meaning authorities. People that might endanger Nicco’s money-making machine.
I’d been one of his robots.
But I liked it here. I liked Drey. No, I loved him, and that made things even worse. His inevitable rejection of me would hurt that much more, too. He’d said this didn’t change how he felt about me, but how could it not?