She liked that.
And hell yeah I liked doing it.
“Drey, please let me go. You—I—we can’t happen.”
“Can’t or you don’t want it to happen?”
“Don’t…” She gulped. “Can’t. God, I can’t think straight with you so close. What are you doing to me?”
“I was thinking the same thing about you.” I inched closer until her chest pressed against mine. I had to hold back a moan at the feeling of her against me. “Sarah.”
“You…deserve…” She bit her bottom lip. “Better.”
I stepped her against the wall beside my bed, my body screaming for some contact. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”
“You’re never with anyone. Why?” She rested her hands at my waist, gripping the side, her one hand right below my stitches. But at the moment I probably wouldn’t have felt it if she’d touched it.
“Didn’t want anyone…else.”
“Drey.”
I inched even closer, and she hissed in a breath. She wanted this as much as I did, but fear laced her eyes, and that I didn’t like.
She closed her eyes, and her tense body softened against me. “Let me kiss you, Sarah. Please let me.”
“No,” she whispered, as her hands worked down my hips and into my back pockets. “No kissing. Oh…you feel good.”
Her grip tightened as her head dropped against the wall, exposing her neck. So much smooth skin for me to explore, to taste. But for some reason I wanted her mouth. So badly I wanted to nip at those plump lips.
Instead, I drew her to me, tucked her head beneath my chin, and hugged her tight. She let out a long breath and softened against me even more. Combing my fingers through her silky hair, I held her tight, slowly swaying.
It felt like that was what she needed more than anything right now. To be held. I was sure she could feel my body’s reaction to her, but hopefully she realized I was okay with holding her…for now.
I needed to know more about her almost more than I needed to breathe. When she said she’d never kissed anyone before, I wasn’t sure what to think. The surprise hit me, but so did the sense of longing and sadness. Like she wanted to, only…couldn’t.
Her breathing evened as I held her, not so much in sleep, but in relief. It was exactly like the tiny babies I held at the hospital. The babies born addicted, their first breaths of air from the womb tainted with addiction they couldn’t even comprehend.
They cried longer and harder than normal babies, needed more attention, and while I was volunteering, I could feel them relax the longer I held them. Sarah reminded me of that. Not the baby part by any means, but the sense of relief and…fatigue.
Like she was fighting an invisible battle and so tired, in need of rest. The fact that she found solace in my arms made my heart swell. I’d be that for her as long as she needed. Didn’t matter that my shoulder and side hurt. She’d shown me a glimpse of her complicated world through her kindness in taking care of me and her willingness to let me hold her.
I vowed then to take care of her even if she wasn’t ready for it. I’d wait her out. She was mine.
Chapter Six
Sarah
“Youokay,chica?”Gabriellaasked as I loaded a round of drinks on my tray.
“Yeah.” Not even close.
I should feel great considering I’d slept for the first time in a long time; more than a couple of hours at Drey’s. Sure it was sitting against a wall next to his bed, but still, it was sleep, and it was sleep without nightmares.
Without nightmares.
Nowthathadn’t happened in as long as I could remember. The memories even crept through the drug-induced sleep sometimes, they were so bad…and intense. But this morning…with Drey. And then when he held me—
“Hey, watch it!” a girl yelled at me, and I spun, managing to hold my tray stable.