“I was—er—we were,” I said, wiping a fresh tear from under my eyes. “But the last words…” A sob stole my voice. Tears trailed down my face again. I pulled my knees close and rested my forehead against them.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there in silence, but I was thankful for it. Preach had said he’d done this grief thing with Brodie, and considering how long he was sitting here in silence with me, he must have done a pretty good job.
I peeked at him, and he was still sitting beside me, his head resting against the brick, and his eyes closed. Maybe he was praying or something. I put my head back down and said, “Our last words were angry. Yelling. Arguing.”
“Shit.”
“He was so pissed at me and the guy, he… He was his best friend. We started hanging out behind his back. I even denied it when Emmett brought it up one time. I lied to him. Kept secrets from him. I know some people do stuff like that all of the time with their siblings, but Emmett and I were different. Maybe it was because we moved around so much and making new best friends every two years wasn’t always possible, but we were each other’s best friend. We always told each other the truth, even if it hurt.”
“Yep. So your brother was pissed at you?”
“Mostly at his friend. He was—” My voice hitched again, so I swallowed and drew in a deep breath, summoning the courage to say it out loud. To finally tell this huge, heavy thing that’d been stabbing me in my heart for almost a year.
Preach leaned into me, his shoulder to mine, and a blanket of heat wrapped around me. Comfort. Peace.
Yes. I could trust him with this.
“His last words to me were ‘I’m disappointed in you, Grace.’”
Preach tensed beside me and hissed in a breath. “I’m so sorry, Grace. I can’t even imagine how painful that was.”
“I almost wished he were mad at me. Anything butdisappointment. He couldn’t believe that Alec and I had kept our feelings for each other secret from him. That we’d been spending time together behind his back. But he was most upset about the fact that I’d lied to him about it.” I fell into some sobs as the words echoed in my mind. My chest tightened so much I had to gasp in the air for any to get through.
I sat up more and straightened my legs so I could breathe easier. So I could find the strength to keep going. I had to keep going. Somehow I knew it.
“He died two weeks later.” I rested my head back and closed my eyes. “He got this incentive flight because he was rocking his training. It was a perk for the Academy’s top students. And while he was up there—”
“Gracie. You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready.”
I leaned to the side, resting my head on Preach’s shoulder. He set his hand on my leg but didn’t say anything. Just let me sit there again for a long time. I wasn’t sure how long, but I found my voice again and went on.
“While he was up there…weather came in. Spatial disorientation—” I choked a sob back. “Everything that could go wrong did.”
Preach’s hand gripped my thigh, and even though he didn’t say a word, I heard him. Felt him. He was freaking rock solid.
“He died before we talked again. Before we could work things out. I—Preach—I—” I couldn’t talk anymore. I’d always been told talking things out would help, but right now, it felt like a razor slicing my chest apart.
I was done.
“Hey, how about we leave and go get ice cream now?”
I nodded. “I’d like that. A lot.”
“Meet me at the car. I’ll tell the gang we’re bolting.” He leaned to the side, then bumped my chin with his finger. “Double scoop of chocolate ice cream with extra hot fudge is definitely needed.”
He helped me up, then headed inside as I made my way to his Jeep. It felt like someone had put a fifty-pound weight on me as I slogged across the parking lot. My eyes stung, and my nose was stuffy.
Yet…I felt a little better. The doors beeped, and I saw Preach headed this way, so I settled into the passenger’s side. He jumped in and started up the engine.
Once we were on the road, he asked, “Tell me more about Emmett.”
“He was a prankster. And he was good at it.”
“You gotta tell me one.”
“One time, my parents went out to dinner and left us with a babysitter who just so happened to be terrified of spiders. The twins hadn’t been born yet, so I was still pretty young. Emmett gets a pair of scissors and cuts out all kinds of spiders and a bunch of other creepy bugs. Then he taped them to the insides of all of the lamps and lights that he could reach. Every single time she turned on a light, she’d scream.” I giggled. “Spiders, centipedes, stink bugs, he really outdid himself. By the end of the night, she figured she’d found them all, so he dug through an old box of Halloween supplies and found a few of those black spider rings, and he hid them in the couch cushions. He pretended he couldn’t find the remote and asked her to check. The poor girl just about jumped through her skin.” I started laughing so hard, I couldn’t stop.
“Emmett sounds awesome.”