“You left me out there?”
“I tried to wake you up. You wouldn’t budge, but you were breathing and not too cold. So I hustled in here to find your parents’ phone numbers. I told them you were all right and that I was going to have a word with you before sending you home.” His jaw tensed.
“What did they say?”
“I’ll let them tell you that once I’m done talking to you.” He held up his phone. “And when I say talkingtoyou, I mean it. You will not say a word until I’m done. You got it?”
I nodded.
Two steps brought him to the door. His dark eyes scanned me, and he grabbed one of my shoulders. He didn’t say anything but steered me into the locker room and silently walked us onto the field through the tunnel the players ran out from.
“I know you’re lost, Preach. I get it.”
“You don’t know shit,” I said, then slapped my hand over my mouth. What thehellwas wrong with me?
“I know youusedto have respect for your teachers, your coaches,” he said, staring over the field.
We stood in the shelter of the tunnel while the rain came down. I gulped, my heart hammering to get out of my chest.
“Did you know I blew a full ride to Oregon?” Coach said quietly.
“Wait, what?”
He crinkled his nose at me, then tugged at the bill of the baseball cap he always wore. I’d never seen him without one on, actually, now that I thought about it.
“I did.” He patted his knee. “Blew it out at a party playing drunken pool games.”
I stared at him in disbelief. Here I thought he was Mr. Perfect. Had the greatest life getting to coach track. He was cool. Fun. Had a really nice wife. I thought he’d had it all.
He hung his head low. “Threw it all away for a bit of fun.”
“I didn’t—”
“No talking,” he said, his voice clipped. “You’ve done enough of that. You will listen to me, Preach, and youwilllisten closely.”
I gulped.
“You hit a human being with your car. Hurt her. Badly. To the point where her dreams might be compromised, like yours have been. You lost hockey. Something you love and have focused on your entire high school career. Hell, your whole life.”
My stomach clenched.
“And the stuff going on with your folks…”
“You know about that?”
He dipped his head at me, both glaring at me because I’d spoken, but also, his glare held a bit of sympathy. Understanding. I wasn’t sure how he was able to do that with such a pointed look.
“Nobody’s perfect, Preach.Nobody.Mistakes, pain, tough times…that’s when you grow, kid. You grow into the person you’re meant to be.Or…you stay stuck in your anger. Your grief. And you never learn or grow from it.”
I gulped. This was the most I’d ever heard Coach talk about something that wasn’t about track.
“But you are better than this.” He gestured at me. “Better than these bad choices you’ve made since the accident. If you don’t shape up soon, you’ll truly lose everything. Your friends. Your health. Maybe even your life.”
The rain was starting to slow as I looked over the littered field again. I already felt alone and like I’d lost everything. Wind and Willow had hockey and their scholarships. Jessa had her other best friend, Willow, and she was heading to the University of Minnesota in the fall. The rest of the hockey team had hockey. They didn’t have time for me. I hated the fear of getting another concussion. I hated the constant worry. Doubt. The unknown.
And then my parents. I hated that they’d lied to me.
“I’m ashamed of my mom, Coach.” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth right now. Ashamed? Was I really ashamed of her?