Oliver let out a whistle. “Those chumps missed out. They’re the assholes if they say she can’t enlist or whatever you call it.”
I smiled at Oliver’s honestly. He was so genuine, some people might miss it behind his humor and prankster attitude, but I sure didn’t. I agreed, the Air Force lost out on an amazing person who could have been a great asset to them.
“It’s my fault, man,” I said. “My fucking fault.”
“Uh-oh. You swore. Are you…you’re not Evil Preach again, are you?” Oliver grabbed my elbow. “Because I will punch you in the face right now if you are.”
“Settle down,Rocky. No punching needed.” I let out a long breath, trying to calm myself down. This morning, I woke up with what felt like fifty-pound weights on my chest. My whole body felt heavy.
“And as far as it being your fault,” Oliver said, getting in my face, “it wasn’t. It was an accident.”
“I know that. I mean, I really do, but it still feels like my fault. You know, my Jeep hit her. It was me driving.” She obviously was struggling with the same issues. She knew it truly was an accident and that I’d lost my dreams because of it, too, but she apparently couldn’t deal with me at the moment.
Hell, she might not be able toeverdeal with me again. My stomach dropped, and a wave of sadness pounded through me.
“Thank God the Athletic Director accepted her doctor’s note and let her run today,” James said as he plowed into Oliver and me. “The relay team needs her wheels.”
“You got that right,” Mateo said, then tensed when he looked at Oliver and me. “What’s up?”
They huddled around me.
“Nothing, it’s fine,” I said.
“Bull crap.” Oliver shook his head. “He’s freaking out over Grace.”
“I heard she left you standing outside of the clinic,” Mateo said.
“And Preach thinks it’s his fault Grace is done with the Air Force.”
“Well, isn’t it, kinda?” Mateo asked, then shrugged. “I mean, I’d feel like shit, too.”
“You’re not helping.” James elbowed Mateo. “Come on, Preach. You really think it’s your fault that you hit black ice? That youwantedto hit Grace and hurt her? Because if that’s true, and you think you have that much power over the universe to make things like that happen, then yeah, it’s totally your fault.”
Oliver pointed at James. “What he said.”
“Right on, James,” Mateo said. “And, Preach, you know he’s right.”
“I know.” And I did know it. But it still sucked. I thought I loved her. “She said she’d forgiven me for it. Right up until she didn’t.”
“She’s angry. I mean, look at you. When you lost your hockey and your scholarship…” Oliver shrugged. “You lost your shit, man.”
“You’re not going to relapse into Reckless Preach again, are you?” Mateo asked.
“No. Jeez!” I pushed Mateo onto the track. The rest followed, and we settled into a slow jog to warm up.
We ran around half of the track in silence before James said, “She’ll come around.”
“I’m not so sure.”
And did I even want that?
“Keep the faith, Preach,” Oliver said. “She’ll come around.”
I was miserable, and part of me hoped and prayed that Oliver was right while another part of me just wanted to throw in the towel and move on.
“Hey, Preach!” Aanya waved from their team huddle as we jogged by.
“What am I? Chopped liver?” Oliver charged after Aanya, and she squealed.