“I’ll have this claw?” I held up my splinted hand. “Forever?”
Heidi offered a sympathetic smile. “We’ll keep working. Get you as much mobility and strength as we can.”
“But…” I gasped for air. “I won’t…ever be back to normal?”
My lungs felt three sizes too small. My skin prickled. The world tilted on its axis.
“Grace!” Heidi grabbed me.
And then my world went black.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Grace
“Looks like everything is much better today.” Dr. Vasquez pulled the stethoscope from my chest.
“I’m totally embarrassed about yesterday.” I pulled on my sweatshirt. Why were doctor’s offices always so cold? Wasn’t it already uncomfortable enough? Please, let’s make it worse by keeping it chillier than a January day in Alaska, too.
The doctor rolled her chair away from me and stopped it in front of the open laptop on the counter. “Don’t be embarrassed. Sounds like yesterday was quite the day.”
Understatement of the year. Thankfully, Mom and Dad said I could miss school today and rest. I didn’t know how I would have faced anyone, especially Preach.
“I still can’t believe I passed out.” Thankfully, the PT clinic was right next door to a new medical clinic, so they checked me out after I took my nosedive.
Dr. Vasquez had told me that I’d had a panic attack. Luckily, she was able to handle it in the clinic and I didn’t have to go to the emergency room. I did have to follow up with an appointment today, though.
“Any history of panic attacks?”
“No. I mean…not really.”
The doctor turned her chair and faced me, her light brown eyes slicing through me. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a bun that sat at the base of her neck. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.
“What’s going on, Grace?”
“So, I haven’t had any panic attacks, per se, but maybe a little bit of anxiety.”
“Go on.” She nodded.
“A couple of times, at school and home, I’ve had these racing thoughts, my heart starts to pound, I get really cold, and I can barely breathe. With everything after the hand injury and then the discharge stuff yesterday. And…there’s this guy I was seeing.”
“Was?”
I nodded. I’d ditched Preach in a major way yesterday. My heart ached thinking back on how it had gone down. I’d blamed him for everything, and that wasn’t fair. We both were at fault to some degree, and in other ways, neither of us were to blame. It didn’t matter, though. I clearly wasn’t able to move on from the accident or the aftereffects. I never should have gotten into a relationship with Preach. It was a mistake. One I could not make again.
“It sounds like it. And yesterday’s bad news was a huge blow. I’m not surprised you’re struggling with anxiety, Grace. Not in the least.”
“Really?”
“You’ve had your entire life planned since you were, like, five, right?” She winked at me. “I can tell that about you.”
“You’re not wrong.”
Dr. Vasquez locked on to my gaze. “I’m going to ask you a tough question, okay?”
I gulped and nodded.
“What are you the most scared of, Grace?”