“But—”
Dad nudged my arm with his elbow. “Grace.”
Anger ignited into a boiling rage deep in my stomach. My dreams. My lifelong dreams were done? Over?
“Thank you for your time, Staff Sergeant.” Dad helped me up and guided me out of the building.
Once we were outside, I whipped around and shouted at Dad, “You’ve been lying to me. You and Heidi both. You kept saying I’d get better.”
“Honey, first, check your tone. I know you’re upset.” It was amazing how quickly he could turn into his military persona. “But maintain respect.”
My world was shattering all around me. It took everything inside me to keep from puking. I knew my start date would be pushed back, but to be tagged medically ineligible? I never saw that coming.
Why hadn’t anyone thrown that out to me, that I might become medically ineligible? Everyone had been so damn positive, so encouraging. And for what? To have my future shredded by a complete stranger? A recruiter I’d never even met?
“Second, we were not lying. Honey, we always said this type of injury and its recovery varies. That we had guarded optimism. You are a big reason for that. You’re young and healthy. That’s a big factor in recovery. Also, you’re determined. Strong.” He let out a slow breath, and his eyes dimmed even more. My stomach plummeted to my feet. There was abutcoming.
A big fuckingbut.
“But it’s been about six weeks, and you’re barely testing at thirty percent.” He gulped, and tears lined his eyes.
“I can’t be done with the Air Force for forever! I can’t—”
“You don’t know it’s forever,” Preach said and gripped my shoulder. “It’s just for now.”
Normally Preach’s touch soothed me, but not right now. It felt more like a dagger, stabbing me. I stepped away from him.
Hewas the reason I was in this mess.
“My hand will get better,” my voice cracked.
“It will, to a degree,” Dad said. “But honey, we have to be realistic. It’s likely the injury won’t recover enough to get you medically cleared.”
“As in ever? Ever?” I screamed. “You should have said something earlier.”
“We wanted to give you as much time to heal as possible.”
“That’s BS. I—”Shit. It all hit me like a fucking tidal wave crashing on the ocean.
Guardedly optimistic.All the times Heidi and Dad had said that about my progress.
Full regeneration is not common.The online research I’d done and chosen to reject, claiming it didn’t apply to me.
I was hoping for a higher percentage of strength, Heidi had said after some testing last week.
Dad and Heidihadbeen preparing me for this, hadn’t they? But I hadn’t listened. Because I didn’t want to hear anything other than I was going into the Air Force.
Oh, Emmett. I’m so sorry. I’ve let you down.
I wasn’t going into the Air Force anymore. We wouldn’t have that connection. I wouldn’t be able to honor him like I’d been planning to for the past year.
My heart throbbed. Tears burned my eyes.
My life is over.
My life is over.
My life is fucking over!