Do you really hope that?
My conscience wars with me at every turn here.
“What about you?” She turns to face me.
“What about me…what?”
“Would you ever hit a woman?”
“Bollocks, no. Only a weak man does that. They think they’re strong. All it means is that they can’t control their anger.”
“You sound very sure of yourself.”
“Because I am.” I remove the brush from Darcy’s hand and draw her toward me. “We need to get one thing straight between us, Darcy. I’m your lifeline. There can be no secrets between us. You can choose what to tell or not tell Kieran if he marries you. But you and I have to be allies.”
“We already have the biggest secret.” She slides her arms across my shoulders. It’s a forgone conclusion. We’re gonna fuck tonight. “That you took my virginity.”
The memory combined with her belly rubbing against the front of my jeans turns me rock-hard. “And that I fucked the shit out of you.” I lower my mouth to her neck. “And that you came for me several times, love.”
“Do you want me again, Ewan?”
“I do. So much. And I’m fighting the voice in my head that says this is so wrong.”
“I didn’t grow up with you in my life. It’s not like you groomed me for this.” She steps back and pushes that nightgown off her shoulder. “We can pretend it’s that night again when we didn’t know each other. When we were strangers.”
Pretend… Lose myself in the fantasy that she’s just a woman and I’m just a man. Or that Ididfather her child, and she’s mine. Adrenaline soars through me, sending heat through my veins.
“Darcy…” I slip the belt from my jeans and undo the top button. “I can’t fight you anymore on this. You’re all I think about. All I want. In truth, I never forgot that tight virgin cunt of yours. It pops into my memory every now and then.” What I don’t tell her is how seeing the blood all over my dick after smashing through her barrier ignited me with feral thoughts that scared at me at the time. I kept going, slowly, as I struggled to gain control. But the sex turned quite brutal. “Darcy, it’s taken all my strength not to touch you. You’ve worn me down. Now get your arse on the bed so I can taste you again.”
“Sometimes losing is better than winning.” She shimmies her nightgown down and next, she’s standing before me completely naked. “You like?”
“Too fucking much.” My eyes feast on her breasts. “You’ve filled out beautifully, love.”
“I have Sadie to thank.”
“I’ll say a silent thank-you.” I take a breast in my hand and kiss the hard nipple. “Darcy?”
“Aye?” She leans into me.
“No one can ever know we did this. Not five years ago. Not now. We’re fucking now to get this out of our system. In New York, you’ll either marry Kieran or someone else.”
“But not you.”
“No.” I kiss her mouth. “I’m not good for anyone. I won’t make a wife childless.”
“I’mnotchildless.”
I think about that… “Marrying you is not acceptable in my world.”
“Right. Um…” She steps back.
“What?”
Her stare wrecks me. “There’s something I want to tell you.”
My heart rams against my ribs. I’ve been dealt so many blows I’m starting to get used to feeling this way. “Go on. It’s me… You can tell me anything. I’ll be your closest confidant in New York.”
“My best friend?”