I wish worrying about the weather or getting paid was my biggest problem right now. “Okay.”
“Okay?” She glances at me over her shoulder. “Why do you sound so calm?”
Exhaling, I say, “I’ll tell Dr. Chan’s PA to let you stay. I’ll go home. I won’t be here much longer anyway.”
“It’s official, aye?” Ciara shakes her head.
“I’d marry anyone at this point to get the hell out of here. You see…” My breath sticks in my lungs, but I push out the words I never wanted to say, “Callum is Sadie’s father.”
“You said Ewan was.”
“It all came out last night. He recognized me. My tattoo gave me away.” I rub my wrist, still feeling the way he forcibly grabbed me. And I hate that it turned me on a little. It was born of passion. The way he looked at me for days all came to a head. “When I told Ewan he was Sadie’s father, he told me he was sterile.”
“Sterile?” Ciara’s eyebrows lower. “Maybe he’s just saying that.”
“He’s my uncle.” The one time I’m glad about that. “He wouldn’t lie to me.”
“Does he know he’s notreallyyour uncle? By blood, anyway.”
I turn around, feeling so horrible. “I can’t tell him I’m adopted now. Then hewon’ttake me with him. I’m of no use to Ewan if I’m not a blood-born Quinlan. I’m sure that’s the reason my father didn’t tell him.”
“But youwantEwan, don’t you?”
“He doesn’t want me like that.” I choke on a sob because admitting that hurts so damn much.
“He doesn’t want you like that because he thinks you’re blood related.”
“I think it’s semantics at this point.” I turn around. “He was very emphatic, but he also said his mother would never accept me as his.”
“Because they think you share a bloodline. Tell him the truth!”
I shake my head. There’s too much at stake if I stay.
“I can’t tell him, Ci. Besides, what’s the point? He’s not Sadie’s father, and he can’t have children. I’m better off in New York with a man, who at least,wantsa wife and sons. I don’t want Sadie to be an only child if I have a chance to be with a decent man.”
My words hang in the air as Ciara processes them. I feel horrible about letting Ewan twist with feelings for his niece without at least a whisper of exoneration that he’s not lusting after his own blood. Maybe everything will be clearer once I’m in America. When I feel safe.
“I guess,” Ciara finally says with sad, down-turned eyes. “I don’t want you to leave, though. I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too.” I hug her. “Stay here with the remaining patients and get the hours. I’ll tell them I’m leaving. You need the money, and it looks like now I don’t.”
Wanting security and wanting to be a kept woman are two different things. I prefer to not have to scrape by, always longing for more, always feeling like I’m letting Sadie down. I want a partner who will respect that I want to work. One who will let me shine.
My choices were taken away from me when Callum’s fingers closed around my throat. My fate is sealed. Now I have to think of my daughter.
If I murmured my secret to Ewan, he could take that security away from me, and for all I know, I could be held down again by Callum within days after he leaves. Ewan doesn’t want me, relative or not. He doesn’t want anyone because he can’t have children. I can’t change that. But telling him I’m not his blood will put my life in danger.
“Please call me before you leave, aye?” Ciara gives me a hopeful smile.
“Aye.” I turn and leave the breakroom.
As I walk through the halls, the chaos around me from the rainstorm thickens. The clinic will be shut down for several days. I wonder if it’s an omen.
A sign that I’m meant to go with Ewan and it’s okay to keep my secret from him for a little longer.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ewan