Her mom smiled. "You're scared about going back to work tomorrow, and so am I. After the holiday, I have an interview to work at the hospital."
"Are you sure?"
"There are sick people everywhere," her mom murmured. "Yes, I liked to work where people truly needed me, but the sick people here need nurses too, and what's more... you need me, and I need you. I..." Her mom looked away but not before Beverly saw her mom blink back tears and one getting free and trailing down her cheek.
"What is it, Mom?" Beverly asked gently.
"I just hope you don't resent me for my work," her mom whispered. "I hope... I hope I never let you down, and I tried to be able to come when you had special events. If you would've gone to prom..."
"I didn't go to prom. I wasn't interested, and I know you would've been there for me if I had gone. Even if it had only been over FaceTime or Skype. It's fine, Mom. Trust me. You following your professional dream... It made me feel like I could follow mine. It's not easy, being in my field as a woman, but you let nothing hold you back, and I won't either."
Her mom collapsed into Beverly's arms, and they held each other for a long moment without saying anything.
Eventually, her mom pulled back just enough to look into Beverly's eyes. "I truly, deeply understand how you feel, honey. We both need to remember that life doesn't stop because of grief. You need to keep living and keep loving. I know your father wouldn't want you to shut yourself off from the world. It's okay to be scared, but don't let fear keep you from living your life. Maybe start small. Take Roy up on his offer or seek out other people who make you happy. Don't be afraid to open your heart again."
Beverly laughed. "You make it sound like I lost a romantic partner."
"When you lose someone you love, it's hard to put yourself back out there again. Your heart is wounded, but it can heal. With time. With friends. With... a partner."
"It's not just dating, though. It's also my job. I'm worried... But fear and worry shouldn't dictate my actions romantically or professionally. I... I need more time to think, but thank you, Mom."
"Always, honey. Always."
ChapterTwenty-One
Just like the cowboys always did on Sundays, they all showed up at the ranch as early as possible on Easter so they could finish up their chores and have time to go home and get changed before heading out to mass.
This Sunday, being Easter, Roy urged them all to follow him before feeding the animals.
"It won't take long," Roy said with a grin.
Colton nodded. "Lead the way, Roy."
"Why do I get the feeling you two know what's going on while the rest of us are in the dark?" Myles complained.
"They're keeping secrets form us," Ronald agreed. "Very suspicious."
"You two should have enough with the conspiracy theories by now," Colton said.
"Is it paranoia if you have a reason to be paranoid?" Ronald asked.
"No need to feel paranoid. Why do you feel paranoid?" Roy asked, baffled.
"Not so much paranoid," Ronald said.
"As left out," Myles finished for him.
Lawrence shrugged. "I don't feel left out."
"That's because you do what you can and you jet away to the fire station," Jack said.
Parker shook his head. "Better you than me."
He made a show of rubbing his right bicep.
Roy snorted. "Wasn't it your other arm?"
"Ah, yes," Parker said sheepishly.